Long-term goals vs One day at a time

[51anna]

I totally believe in the 'one day at a time' message. One of the problems that led me to drinking was focusing on what might have been or what might happen. Trying to stay in the moment has been a real challenge and has helped me a lot. But, I wonder how long-term goals fit into that way of life. I've started doing some new things in my life in the last year or so, but as I focus on each day, I see weeks and months slipping by and not a lot changes. I'm ready for more challenge and to start looking at doing different things. But if I plan to take a course that will last for a couple of years, for example, how will I remain in the moment. I just have a feeling that staying in the one day at a time frame of mind allows your life to kind of slip by without you even realizing it.

Hugs and love,
Anna

[lin127]

good question. how do we know when we need to act?? I am having a hard time with this also. Cant wait for ideas.
Lin

[liveweyerd]

Some famous pschologist calls it successive approximations. We point to out Star and then steer a little bit at a time.....getting successively closer, but broken down into smaller segments

I have some things I want to accomplish that will take years. But when I work toward it today...put some money in savings toward a down payment on the cabin etc etc I am living in today mindful of tomorrow's dreams.

How's that?

[indigo]

Dear Anna,

You know how to do it, it's only a thought or two and you're living it.Write you later dear friend.
I have'nt let up so pass me your stuff, I'm waiting!!!! Live is right too.

love Annie
PS Anna right click your mouse go to enregistrer sous and the cat is yours if you want her. Also if you click on the thumbnail she'll move for you LOL

[Paulie]

In my opinion there is a difference is setting goals or making plans and staying in the moment.

for me staying in the moment, taking life one day at a time means not thinking about the 'what if' which for me are usually negative. And it also means not thinking about the past. That does not mean I cannot make a plan to start school in the fall. Or make a plan to accomplish something that is positive for me.

Does that help at all?

[51anna]

Yeah, thanks everyone. That does help. It seems like it's about balance. I've had a tendency to get caught up in my plans for the future, to the point that I forget where I am today. This is something I'm going to keep thinking about.

Love, Anna

[laurie6781]

Anna I can give you an example of how I do that in my own life. This is what works for me.

About 6 years ago, looking at my kitchen one day I just KNEW it had to be totally remodelled. Dang, my head started running, how was I going to afford that, etc etc etc.

So decided to use the tools given to me and started footwork. First sat down and made some lists, and drawings of what I wanted. Then more lists of how to accomplish same.

Like has been said above, first changed budget to start putting xtra money away out of each paycheck, also budgeted in tax refund to go to "remodel account."

Then if there was a day I would be near Home Depot, Or Lowes, Or Southerlands, I would price different cabinets, again writing down style numbers and prices.

As time went on, I was accumulating quite a folder of valuable information (this was my footwork.)

One day I contacted a very well recommended cabinet maker in our town, and asked him to come out and give me an estimate. More lists and more prices. However, he had some wonderful suggestions, and in the long run saved me a bunch of money. He salvaged many of my cabinets and put new fronts on them and then made the 3 xtras ones I had to buy match!!! and it was much cheaper than all new cabinets would have cost.

Same thing with appliances, and sinks, and the faucet, etc. All of this dang footwork was done over several years. I bought the 'new' appliances when they went "on sale" as new model year was coming out, saved a bundle, turned around and sold the old ones. So had the new applicances b4 remodelling was done.

To make a long story shorter, rofl, my kitchen remodel was complete 4 years after I first dreamed about it. All I did was the footwork, staying in the current day. Slowly, it all came together. I truly believe, had I tried to force it all and get it NOW I would still be waiting on my kitchen remodeling, lmao.

I do the same thing when planning a trip, or when I changed my profession and had to go back to school at 42 years old, lol.

I have found that any sincere long range goals I have can and do come true, just NOT IN MY TIME. They come true and happen in MY HP's TIME.

I stay in today, do what footwork I can for my long range plans, I stay out of the results, and I ENJOY TODAY to the best of my ability.

Hope you all have a serence, calm, and FUN day.

Love and (((((to all))))),

[bubblze30]

Hi 51 Now I know it does sound confusing but having long term goals are also a part of recovery. See we can make long term goals but we must not focus solely on making these long term goals succesful. I see a conselor for my recovery and have long term goals such as continuing counceling and staying clean. I also recently made one that helps me with my isolation. I do however keep it in the day but know that I have long term or a few long term goals that I also work on I just dont focus solely on my long term goals or acheviements. So I think it is possible to have long term goals as long as we don't keep looking to the future to get them.you have them but you keep mind that with the footwork you will succeed with your long term goal.

[2stop]

For me, how I look at it is...it is strategy. Where do I want to be in 1 year, 5 years...financially? relationship-wise? career-wise?...then I sit down and write daily plans to help in accomplishing said goals. Long term goals for me are the projected status of where my daily living and planning develops into. Staying in the mmoment I do the right thing, make positive choices that when added altogether will result in my longer term goals. All about strategy for me.....

[Chy]

I understand what you mean Anna. I know for me I want to "feel" those accomplishments and goals, see something tangible, recieve a sort of report card. But I agree with Paulie living in the moment as we must does not mean we can't start strategizing to the next phase in our life. Make a plan, write it down, then chip away a litle bit ar a time. Your doing so good Anna, progress sister, just a little bit each day.

[Alongtimegone]

This one really hit home for me, as I have often felt lately that I am drifting. Thanks for putting my thoughts into words. It helps.

[dotcom]

Anna,

Good thread! Since I have rid myself of the people who used and abused me, and got clean I have had so many doors open and ops that arise! For instance, I have a bank account... a short term goal for me, which required staying in the moment, was to save up 1,000 dollars. Since I had been so used to spending every red cent on crystal or cigs or beer or my ex... I had to really stay in the moment and use some blind faith! Sounds silly, but I faithed myself into 1,000 dollars.

Then school. I chose not to go the first semester I cleaned up. I was too much of a wreck! But the next semester, I was ready and chose to go. I stayed a lot in the moment because I really do not do well with groups of people or registering... School was something I could do that just required staying in the moment once in awhile, like when I'd freak out. If I stay in the moment at school all the time, I will go nuts! HaHa. It's something I go to, then when I'm done I go home and study. And when I start thinking about majors, I keep it realistic. I've got the rest of my life. And I think being able to set long term goals is exciting for me, because I know I will reach my goals, it is just the going about it that is so much fun.

Since a baby, my mom says I never did anything until i KNEW I could do it. I like that about me. I suppose the reason I am succeeding in recovery is because I was ready and knew I could do it. And at school, even when I got a D I still know I can make a passing grade and will not give up hope. I have a dream to own a house and it is now possible (someday, haha) for me.

A lot of my goals have to do with my confidence and how much I feel I am capable. When I had someone holding me back, an ex, an annoying junkie, I was not able to spread my wings and take off! Now that I have chosen to hang with the right people, my confidence has shot sky high! And I think staying in the moment is a backup emergency tool when we feel we are about to lose all our confidence or freak out about goals. I use the moment thing for everyday life when I feel like I want to run over my assistant or just say f it all. But my goals are something I hang onto and look to for comfort sort of... like it is all worth it! and it is rare that i have to stay in the moment with them unless i get too many ideas in my head. ive been staying very realistic though and that helps.

hope ive helped!

dotster

[lin127]

Dot,
you are going to be just fine.

Love
Lin