isolating my self right into depression

[omshanti]

hi everyone i am new here, i am also coming up on five years (in two weeks)
lately i have been battling severe depression~ i just moved (less then 6 months ago) and under severely harsh circumstances, i meet a real nice guy who was not a drinker or drugger and enjoyed meetings and going with me to aa events, he loved the fact that i honored my sobriety... he also was into spiritual stuff like reiki and healing circles~
we dated casually for awhile and then when i was ready we went further, then he asked me to marry him and great~
this all happened over 2 year time spam...
well, i was totally real with him, i let him know multiple marriages, recovery etc...
and he told me his space and where he had been
well, after a few months of marriage he had his phone on speaker to ck his messages and all of a sudden the message said this is your probation officer, and call me back.. i say tell that guy that he is definetly not calling the right number and to not call again.. he said welllll i have something to tell u.. my heart sank, and then he lets me know he is on probation.. and that he felt it was better not to tell me, and worry me with this info since i had alot of my own stuff going on...
well he changed jobs and i notice this worhaholic behaviour, and i am not kewl with it, he is chosing to work like 65 to 70 hours a week~ i am seeing dysfuntion of a major sort, anyhoo he then is so caught up in work that he ignores what he needs to do for his parobation and around 5 am on a sunday morning the cops come to my house to pick him up on a warrant (he did not do the whole take care of paper work or something) and went to jail,, well, after this all happens he needs $ and i ask my mom to help, now to be real i have never had to ask my mom for help..and then he got fired and since we are married and all and newlyweds i move with him to where he was offered a really good job.. now we are in a new area, i miss my aa family back home and miss back home and he is working till 10 pm at nite and early am job.. i am just starting out my business here, and i am also just getting over a major illness.. when i mention it to my husband he gets very angry and says divorce is fine with him, and not to call him upset and unstable and how he is not going to do this at work and hangs up on me..and also that his working late won't be a problem since we will be divorced and all, needless to say my self esteem is in the toliet, and so is my financial problems, as in i am broke at this time, but sober.. also having a hard time connecting with others, i do go to meetings and let folx know and try and reach out, but it seems that it is pretty cliche here, and all...
i am soorrry for the long post, but my life is spiraling out of control and maybe that is just where my life is suppose to be powerless.. i don't have a strong support system, and i am trying to reach out, but it is tuff~ hope this was appropriate sharing... i am reaching out and this is hard for me.. shanti

[51anna]

Hi Shanti, welcome to SR and I'm glad you found us. It sounds like you've been through a lot! One of the big issues seems to be your husband's workaholism. He is probably not going to change on his own and you probably know there is not much you can do to influence him. The best you can do is to take care of yourself and establish your own life in your new city. If the depression is a problem which you think is fairly long-term and you can't shake it, maybe you could consider talking to a dr. about it. Anyways, glad you're here and keep posting.

Love, Anna

Hi Omshanti,
I just wanted to say that I understand what it's like to want to isolate,I'm doing a bit of that myself right now...I am also sorry that you are in pain...Please know that we are here for you. I have'nt been posting regularly for a long time,but I'm greatful to be back.

Take care,Vampy

[Paulie]

omshanti -

I would also like to welcome you to SR.

I can only say ditto to the above. As we learn in the program, you have to take care of you first. Call your local AA hotline and talk to a recoverying person you will feel so much better. See if you can arrange to meeting someone at a meeting, that is a great way to start. I know it is easy for me to say, but you will make new friends in the program. Reach out to them, they are there to welcome you with open arms.

And stick around here. There is a great group of people here that want to help and get to know you.

[indigo]

Namaste Om Shanti,
Sorry you are having such a dreadful time. Also glad you found SR it's a great board with lots of genuine, warm and friendly people, you will find lots of support here. A big welcome from France.
Tchao Aspire

[tutu]

Dear Shanti,

IM also fairly new here, and like you, I have depression and I find it very hard to connect with people, and usually I feel like Im on the outside looking in. Even online. So your pain and stuggle is heard. Good luck!

Wishing you love and light in your life,
Tutuz

[51anna]

I'm glad you found us at SR. I'm glad you posted and I'm hoping you'll hang around awhile and get to know us.

Anna

[indigo]

Salut Tutuz,
Welcome to you, keep posting!
tchao aspire

[boop64132]

Welcome Shanti and Tutu,
Glad you are both at SR.
Hope to get to know you both better.

[Vevo]

Welcome shanti & tutu.
Glad both of you found this site and have posted. I too struggle with depression and isolation from meetings. (so very self centered of me)
shanti - please take care of yourself. You know what you need to do. It's doing it, that is the hard part.
;-) Vivian