I'm so upset

[zoomer]

Gosh the world feels like it's crashing down on me. I'm on a prozac,but it does not seem to be helping any and makes things worse. I know I have PTSD,but now I'm wondering if it's something more. I went to the doctors today because I'v been sweating,throwing up because I'v been do so much thinking about how this life in the now is almost the same as my life before with my husband drinking. This husband does not hit me,nor terroizes me,but things come up that remind me of the past and they all get mixed in together. This sounds horrible, but when I look at my husband I remember the last guy they made me sleep with when I was 17. I don't like fat men and my husband is fat. I hate where I live because people are snobs. GG the lady asked if my son was developmentlay delayed of all things. He is two and he kept wanting to turn on and off the light. he does not sit quietly. The bitch had the nerve to touch my son and say "he has to learn" I said get you hands off my son and don't touch him again! I know I'm not right in the head and God knows I'm tired,but is it enviromental stress or me causing my enviroment to be stressed? I'm going for help because my life sucks,but I don't want to be put down for it! O and when I was preganat with my son, the doctors gave me drugs. If he is delayed it's because of those **** heads!

[zoomer]

God, help me you guys. I think all the kids in school are getting carbonmonixside poisaning from the buses. They make the kids at school sit on the buses with them running outside for 20 minutes a day and there are tons of buses all lined up. I smoke, so the kids are getting it from that too and my husband leaves the van running for an hour everyday. I got in my van, he left it running and his car too and I freaked because the carbon was so thick I did't need my car warmed up. I'm scard! He also wants us all medicated! he gives my girl binidrill every night to go to sleep. It's a bad combonation! I don't know if he is doing it on perpose or what?

[2stop]

Oh Zoomer, bless your heart! I am so sorry to hear your pain and frustrations. I wish I could just hold you and tell you it will all be okay, and just sit and talk. I know how hard it is to live where the majority of people are so judgmental. When I lived in apartments it was like this, people were so mean and cruel. It really wore me down, I didn't get involved in their gossip and bashfests and I guess they didn't trust me. It was so hard.

I hear your concern regarding the carbon monoxide levels, that's a long time to sit in the buses. And with warming the cars up, do you all warm them up in a garage? I would do it outside, would be safer. You sound so stressed, maybe a nice long bath and some quiet music, I really feel for you Zoomer....

***Big Hugs*** coming your way.....

[Paulie]

(((Zoomer)))

Relax my friend. You need to call the dr and talk to her about the prozac, sometimes things to be changed depending on the person. What about the counselor you went to see last week? is that something that maybe you could do an a regular basis? A couple years ago I did counseling for like 6 months and it helps me alot. give it a try.

About the kids and the buses...I don't know what to say about that, but the van at home, you can do somethign about that yourself by not running it so long.

I want you to call the dr today zoomer okay about the prozac and be honest and tell the dr how you are feeling.

K?

sending hugs to you my friend.

[dotcom]

poor zoom! youll be in my prayers!

dot

[KcCrystal]

((((Zoomer))))

[zoomer]

LOL, guys, I went to the doctors, my MD and they pissed me off so bad! She had the nerve to touch my son and try to disaplin him. I don't care who you are,you don't touch my kids! I gave her hell! I went there to get things checked out because I have been feeling like crap and she got all on my case! I also called my shrink a dink and she gave them hell too! I'm a nut case I know and I'm seeing a thripist today,but no one has a right to treat you like crap if you go seek medical help because you don't feel good. TY guys for all your thoughts and advice. Good news is that things are getting better at home too!

[51anna]

Zoomer, I hate to see you so down on yourself. It seems like you found going to the doctor made things worse instead of better. If you feel strongly that you want help, then maybe you could try another doctor or a therapist like Paulie suggested. It sounds like you're a bit overwhelmed right now and I think the right doctor might be able to help.
As far as your son, I'm amazed that anyone would touch anyone else's child, knowing there could easily be legal repercussions from that!

Hugs and love,
Anna

[daisey35]

Who is giving your child Benedryl at night? Does the child have allergies? Or is he giving it just to make her go to sleep? That isn't cool. I hate to hear you are going through somuch stress right now. Don't be so hard on yourself--anyone going through large amounts of stress can feel and act crazy!! But that doesn't mean you ARE. Those docs sound like real LOSERS! I would have gone balistic if anone, Dr. or not, laid their hands on my kid like that! Honestly, I think your 2-year-old sounds perfectly NORMAL--it is completely normal for a 2 year old to flip switches, and want to touch things, and not be able to sit still!! My goodness, he's just a little kid!! WHat do they expect him to do, act like an adult?!! That behavior is normal. That is how they learn about things, by touching and trying things and see how they work. And OF COURSE he doesn't sit still!! He's only 2, and FULL of energy!! Why that doc seemed to think there was something wrong, I cannot imagine. I bet she is one of those who likes to prescribe Ritalin to every other kid because they squirmed in their seat or something. I would find another doctor, one that is FAMILIAR with the normal behavior of little kids!!
Hang in there, Zoomer. This too shall pass. Be good to yourself awhile; get a nice cup of decaf tea, a nice hot bath, and some soothing music or a good book, something uplifting. Remember to BREATHE!
We are here for you, girl!

Peace to you,
Daisey

[zoomer]

Daisey, my kids have allergies like me,but I do think my husband gets a little binidrill happy! A lot of people here give there kids binidrill because there is a lot of tree mold and stuff. Most of the time instead of cold remidies that they have out, we give them binidrill. We have just tons of colds and flus here all year round. It really sucks.