Someone else dislikes babies?

[TakingCharge999]

I feel bad about this but am spending some time with my sister and her 8-month old baby. I love them of course but it reminds me how I have never liked babies. Ever. Never had any maternal instinct and now I am 30.

We are going together on a small holiday and I am, well not dreading it but worried about getting dirty looks. Although I myself have gone through listening to everybody else's babies and kids crying and running around all the time and in the airplane.

I wish I could call other vacationists in our hotel and warn them they won't get any rest due to baby crying and screaming.

Has someone here felt this way?

[MsJax]

I'm with you I don't dislike them, I just wish more parents would "parent"! That's all I'll say on the subject for now! Enjoy your trip, hope it goes super smooth

[jamdls]

I never really got the maternal instinct either and I had a child and still didn't get it. I loved and still love my daughter and she has 2 little boys whom I dearly love but in general I don't like kids, you're not alone. I much prefer dogs over people.

[aussieblue]

There isn't a maternal bone in my body, I am 51 so it would have kicked in by now. I never had kids and don't regret it for one minute. The best thing I ever done.

[zxcirce]

I do not like children and my maternal instinct is and always has been nonexistent. It's just not something that ever appealed to me. I can handle other people's children in small amounts sometimes, but I'm at peace with my childfreeness. It seems to me that other people have a problem with my decision, but hey, they're not me, and they can pop one out for me if they want. Not my thing.

[akrasia]

It's funny--I actually really enjoy the company of most babies and children. I think they're hilarious and interesting. But even I appreciate how damn draining they can be. It's like, can't you just sit down and read the paper for a while?

Honestly, I think there's something a little strange about the people who say they lo-o-o-ove all children everywhere all the time. You know the kind. First of all, kids are people--so you're going to get on with some of them better than others. Second of all--if you love all children all the time, how can you develop any sort of meaningful relationship with any one child? The people who get all gooey about kids are just romanticising their own childhood or trying to create something they never had. It rings false.

So, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with you feeling dubious about going on a holiday with your sister and her eight-month-old baby. Travelling with a baby is hard going, usually. Lots of things to carry, lots of crying. The poo factor. I wouldn't do it unless it were an unavoidable trip--or possibly a short very short travel distance to a very laid-back family friendly place. It's hard on the baby too, especially if there's not a good plan in place about naps, feedings, quiet play time, etc.

Are you going to be sharing a room, all three of you? If so you won't get much sleep. Is she going to sit in the room with the baby whilst you go off having fun, or is she expecting you to relieve her of duty sometimes? Have you had a chance to work all this out?

You might want to talk with her and address these concerns, get a plan worked out. It doesn't make you a horrible child-hater, it makes you realistic!

[greebobeebo]

You are allowed to feel the way you do.

Does your sister know how you feel?

I am a Mum and in my opinion the best baby is one that is asleep.

The good thing about babies is, they don't get bored, so you don't have to entertain them so much.

Saying that, I wouldn't take a child on a long journey until they can entertain themselves anyway.

[Magichappens]

I am not a "baby person". I am 44. I've been married for 23 years, and we have no children. A lot of people think this is odd. My family has pretty much abandoned me because of it.

I think if God wanted me to have babies, he would have put that feeling in me to want them. Some of my friends have it. They love to hold other peoples babies. They looked forward to having their own. Not me. I bought 2 Manchester Terriers that I adore, and moved on. I am lucky to have a best friend that has the same type of quirk. She is 43 and no kids, so I didn't feel like a complete freak of nature. Anyway, I am glad you brought this up. We are the exception, but that doesn't mean we are wrong or bad for not following society's norm. That is just part of who I am, love it or leave it! Magic

[Meminy]

Just popping in to give my two cents. I have two kids, whom I love. BUT....I think it's ridiculous for anyone to feel bad about not wanting children, or to be treated as if there's something wrong with them. I would hate to be treated as if something was wrong with me for wanting children, there shouldn't be a double standard there . Imagine if EVERY woman felt that maternal procreative instinct....where would all the people fit? Lol.

[hypochondriac]

Thanks for this post. I'm glad to hear that there's other women out there without a maternal instinct! I'm 30 and people keep telling me it's gonna kick in any time soon. I hope not because my rational brain says I don't want kids. Good luck on the holiday x

[newby1961]

I am so not a child lover as a matter of fact when I am out and a kid starts acting up I say to myself see that's why I know I wouldn't want kids cause I would end up screaming or something. For awhile I had to deal with the fact I felt this way cause I felt like it was not very womanly of me lol. It is also good to know I am not alone because I did think so for a while.

[MsPINKAcres]

Isn't it strange how society tends to "judge" or classify people without knowing them?

According to "them" if you are a woman you are suppose to LOVE children, planting, shoppping, sewing, animals blah, blah, blah. . .

I happen to be one of those people (notice I said people not women because my husband is the same way) that most kids LOVE ~ as long as I can remember I have gotten along with most age children ~ i feel like I can connect with them very easily, so can my hubby.. . .

BUT I am NOT an animal person - EEEKKKKK - oh please don't stone me!! ha ha ha

I don't have any thing against them - I believe cats, dogs are wonderful - I'm just not one to really want one or want to own one ~ I have had them before and I loved them, but have no strong desire to have another "pet"

But yet, if you state this to a furbaby lover ~ most of the time you are viewed as mean spirited and non-loving ~

Why? seems rather silly to me ~ I don't want someone who doesn't care to have children to be forced to have a child; so why should someone want me to be forced to care for an animal that I don't want???

Silly society - needs to learn MYOB very much don't you think?

just my thoughts ~

PINK HUGS,
Rita

[newby1961]

Ms Pink I agree 100%. The funny thing is although I don't want kids they all flock to me too. They love me and through the years I have figured out it is because I play with them, and can get down to their level. I never really liked cats growing up, and even in my adult life till about 10 years ago, when I ended up getting not one, not two, but three of them lol. Now I only have one and I couldn't imagine my life without her, because I live alone and family is all over 4K miles away. Now you talk to me about owning a snake or anything remotely close to that, not going to happen! Birds really freak me out I like them but caring for them? I guess maybe they scare me a little.

I think it is silly period to judge others on their likes & dislikes among many other things. The world would be a much better place if we could all just get a long peacefully,
Have a great night all.

[gbz]

ms pink I am quite the opposite. I do not like babies or children.teenagers earthen as I was a high school science teacher many moons ago. I read that women are wired to hear baby cries in a higher pitch than our counter parts to assure we tend to them but mother nature backfired because I dread the sound of infants crying. I will literally run away. However put me at the spca and I am fine because I absolutely adore animals (mostly cats and dogs.) Infact I kind of get freaked out and leery by non animal lovers. No disrespect just my own experiences.

[kiki5711]

Originally Posted by TakingCharge999

I feel bad about this but am spending some time with my sister and her 8-month old baby. I love them of course but it reminds me how I have never liked babies. Ever. Never had any maternal instinct and now I am 30.

We are going together on a small holiday and I am, well not dreading it but worried about getting dirty looks. Although I myself have gone through listening to everybody else's babies and kids crying and running around all the time and in the airplane.

I wish I could call other vacationists in our hotel and warn them they won't get any rest due to baby crying and screaming.

Has someone here felt this way?

KIds. Way overrated. They suck your blood till you die.

With "some" good moments in between.

But not good after 12. All goes down hill then.

[ainsley1]

Lol, I have two kids but I've never been a big "baby" lover until I had my own. But I gotta say, don't judge parents for their crazy fussy kids, because that's just the way kids are and sometimes there ain't nothing a mom can do about it.

[WastedDaze]

Has someone here felt this way?[/QUOTE]


TC999, I think you are very wise to recognize your feelings and be honest about them. My answer to your question is "YES."

I have several small children that I love and feel very close to and bonded with. But others, not so much... And, I do my best to avoid situations where I will be spending a significant amount of time with those particular kids. I'm not sure if that makes me a 'bad' person, or what??? It's my truth tho. I think if more parents/caregivers would be honest about this type of thing, there would be a lot less child abuse.

In thinking about it, it must be just like with all people. Some folks I like, right off the bat. But some folks, I just don't. I can't control my thoughts, but I can control what I do with them. I avoid the kids I dislike, the same way I avoid the adults I dislike. It's not the kid's fault. They deserve to be treated with love and patience. If I know I can't give that to them, I stay away.

If you were somehow able to limit your time with the baby, you could still really have a great time. Plan out your days in advance, then try and time your return after her bedtime. That will still give you a few hours with your sister and you can still feel like your are honoring your feelings and taking care of yourself too.

[Lyrah]

I have always thought I disliked children, until I worked in retail for 5 years and realized many children are more likable than adults. But, it also really depends on the child.

I still do not think babies are cute or go gaga over them. I wish I could have a child starting from age 3. Below that, not a huge fan.

[bitmap]

I am almost 45 don't have kids, never really wanted them. I have no tolerance for small children running around and when they are too young to speak with me forget it. I chock part of it up to the fact that I was never around babies etc until I was around 10 and just never developed that " ahhhhhh babies are so cute" instinct. And babies smell...I hate that sour milk smell....sorry. Now when they are a little older and can talk to me and I can teach them stuff and they ask questions they are at least tolerable.