Exiting a Relationship - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

LJessL · 12-02-2003, 11:01 AM

Ladies I'd like to ask anyone with experience in this area to share. I was with a man for 20 years (ever since 16) .....was married 14 years...divorced 5 years this month. I am just getting out of a 2 year relationship with a man. I just don't believe I was in love with him. I'm wondering if anybody has made this kind of decision after a significant amount of time dating. I never moved in with him so it will be easy to break apart as compared to my divorce. I am 42 yrs. old.

Any thoughts?

Thanks for any sharing.

Laurie

Paulie · 12-02-2003, 03:48 PM

Laurie -

I don't have any experience with what you are going through but I would like to tell you to follow your heart. It is my experience that my heart leads me in the right direction.

God Bless.

zoomer · 12-03-2003, 05:37 AM

Hi!!! If I was in your shoes and was not sure, I'd break it off. Breaking things off is hard even if you do not live with the guy and you have been dating for 2 years. Have you decided on how you are going to tell him? Most people say do it face to face. Ha, letters work fine with me. I mean once your mind is made up, what is there to talk about? Just write "Dear Jon", I'm going through a faze in my life to wear I do not wish to be commeted to anyone just now. I do care for you,how can I not after two years together,but I need this time alone. Take care and have a good life.......... Short and sweet and to the point. Be prepaired for phone calls and such,but don't talk to him for a week and let it sink in. Good luck.

estern · 12-04-2003, 09:42 AM

Hi Laurie,
My most successful moment in making a decision like this was to make a personals ad. One I never sent. But, what I found was that I was using all the things I wasn't finding in the current relationship to figure out what I did want. So, for example, I wanted someone who wasn't ambivalant and I knew this because he was so ambivalant. Of course, later I had to recognize my own areas of ambivalance. Most of all, I realized I wanted to be with someone that could experience the relationship as a journey we were on together, even though our paths may be different.
Hope this is food for thought.
Ellen

12-02-2003, 11:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
LJessL Paused Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: N. Greenbush, N.Y. Posts: 11	Exiting a Relationship Ladies I'd like to ask anyone with experience in this area to share. I was with a man for 20 years (ever since 16) .....was married 14 years...divorced 5 years this month. I am just getting out of a 2 year relationship with a man. I just don't believe I was in love with him. I'm wondering if anybody has made this kind of decision after a significant amount of time dating. I never moved in with him so it will be easy to break apart as compared to my divorce. I am 42 yrs. old. Any thoughts? Thanks for any sharing. Laurie

12-02-2003, 03:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	Laurie - I don't have any experience with what you are going through but I would like to tell you to follow your heart. It is my experience that my heart leads me in the right direction. God Bless. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

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12-03-2003, 05:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
zoomer Gold Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: It's raining again! Posts: 2,353	Hi!!! If I was in your shoes and was not sure, I'd break it off. Breaking things off is hard even if you do not live with the guy and you have been dating for 2 years. Have you decided on how you are going to tell him? Most people say do it face to face. Ha, letters work fine with me. I mean once your mind is made up, what is there to talk about? Just write "Dear Jon", I'm going through a faze in my life to wear I do not wish to be commeted to anyone just now. I do care for you,how can I not after two years together,but I need this time alone. Take care and have a good life.......... Short and sweet and to the point. Be prepaired for phone calls and such,but don't talk to him for a week and let it sink in. Good luck.

12-04-2003, 09:42 AM	#4 (permalink)
estern Paused Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: california Posts: 1	Hi Laurie, My most successful moment in making a decision like this was to make a personals ad. One I never sent. But, what I found was that I was using all the things I wasn't finding in the current relationship to figure out what I did want. So, for example, I wanted someone who wasn't ambivalant and I knew this because he was so ambivalant. Of course, later I had to recognize my own areas of ambivalance. Most of all, I realized I wanted to be with someone that could experience the relationship as a journey we were on together, even though our paths may be different. Hope this is food for thought. Ellen

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