Self-esteem 10/16

[DolphinBlue]

History provides abundant examples of...women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others.
-Sonya Rudikoff

Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. We have been drawn together for purposes wonderful but seldom apparent. We need one another's gifts, compassion, and inspiration in order to contribute our individual parts to the whole.

Not only do we need to nurture and to inspire others, but our personal development, emotionally and spiritually, demands that we honor ourselves in like fashion. Self-love, full self-acceptance, is necessary before we can give anything of lasting value to someone else. We must selflessly give to others if, indeed, our love and support are meant to serve, and giving anything selflessly is evidence of healthy self-love.

Selfless love liberates the giver and the recipient. Giving selflessly reveals our personal contentment, and it means we are free to nurture our own gifts.

It's good and right that I should encourage someone else today. I will pay the same respect to myself, too.

From the book: "Each Day a New Beginning - Daily Meditations for Women"

[Paulie]

Self-love, full self-acceptance, is necessary before we can give anything of lasting value to someone else

That is so very true. I struggle with this daily. But thinking about it in the way that I cannot love another person, like the man in my life, unconditionally, without loving myself that way first, helps alot. I don't always remember but I try.


Lasting value....that is what I want to give the people in my life. that is a simple, yet awesome way to put it into words.

[Pamsters]

Hey,

This is what I try to do on a daily basis; giving without wanting anything in return. I treat this forum like that and it fills a void for me, too. My blessing from my HP is that I have a gift of gab. Yet, I have very good listening skills too. Loving unconditionally can be very hard because when I was in relations before I always expected something in return; anything. Yet, I didn't get what I wanted after working on self and loving myself unconditionally first then it because easier to love others that way.

[ssindi]

I need to work harder in this area because sometimes I just don't think I measure up. My kids are both in states of disaray, my husband is not really happy with me right now. How do I first get me to love me??? I think because of what I've done, overdoses, I am a unloveable person.

[Paulie]

Cindy -

First, and i know this is not easy, you have to learn to love yourself, and the rest will follow. We have to let go of the guilt of things that we have done, the guilt gets us absolutely no where! What is important is today.

You are not an unloveable person...that I can promise you. You are a woman who has made some wrong choices and now is ready to make correct choices.

to get you to love you....you have to realize and accept what I just said, choices. Today you make good choices, that makes you a better person. You are a woman that loves her kids and her husband. For me to begin to love myself I had to realize that the things that I did while using and the things that happened to me as a child, the abuse I received, were just that, things that happened to me. They are not who I am.

I am not Paulie the girl that was molested by the kid around the corner. I am not Paulie who stole from everyone that loved her and tried to help her. I am not Paulie who lied, cheat, manipulated and disrespected everyone in her life for years. Those are things that I did, not who I am. I am a person who made bad choices to do those things, and today I make the choice not to do those things.

I am Paulie in recovery, trying to stay sober and work on herself one day at a time. I am Paulie who does her best to love others and help when she can. And even more important, I am a Paulie who is learning every day how to take care of herself better and better, and to treat herself with respect and love.

It is a process and I for one have to practice everyday. Practice too, some days are easy, some are not.

But...practice makes better.

[Roses are red]

Cindy,

I just read your post and, I know how you are feeling. My last binge was one that about pushed my DH over the edge and out the door.

I felt awful. I was sick to my stomach, depressed , in an awfully
low place.

The only thing that truly helped me was remembering that I couldn't undo the past. I could only work on my present. I had
the gift of today, and the opportunity to make it a good one.

I also know that I have to take it one day at a time. It took
me a long time to "screw" things up. They weren't going to get
straight overnight.

I worry about my children, and what my episodes have done to them.

I have to stay sober, that is where it starts. The longer I am
sober, the better it is for my entire family. Luckily, things have
gotten much better. But, I was truly scared that I had "blown"
it, and it helped scare me sober.

You aren't an unloveable person. You are a person of possibilities that might have made some mistakes. Those mistakes don't define who you are.

Seperating what we have done from who we are is so important.

Rose