I think my sister is going mad

[clancy]

My sister is the only relation i have, we both grew up together at Evenley Hall, thats what our childrens home was called.

I remember us having fun together as kids, lots of imaginary games,bike rides lots of sister ish fun. I remember us fighting quite a bit too,but i dont rember any real harm inflicted on each other,excepting she bit me very hard once.

Over the years we saw each other occasionally,maybe 3 or 4 times a year.We were never really close but we were ok. Claire had Anorexia from age sixteen and its never really gone away.

Over the years our relationship got a bit strange she was constantly looking at my body,my hair,my clothes and comparing.

last year when she came down to see me, (this when i was having a bunch of mates round) a friend of both of ours,who grew up in the same place,so's known us for ever, remarked that i was looking a little too thin. She went on a bit, and i could see claire was getting mad.Eventually she got up and stated screaming' im the thin one out of us two,its ME! then she started to twist around screaming and shouting stuff to this effect.

Now she is in therapy, and she says she has never had a happy day in her life all because of me.

She says i used to stand on the window sills for hours behind the curtains then jump on her. Also she says i regularly used to lock her up in the bottom drawer of a chest of drawers. She said i told everyone in the home she was a nymphomanic. She has made up alot of terrible lies like this and is telling it all to her therapist,now the therapiast thiks im a psychopath or something.

She is also saying lots of terrible things about the home.You can imagine. She says she had a terriible childhood there, where as it really was a lovely place,with huge grounds and the kindest staff. We never wanted for anything cos so many gifts were showered on us at christmas,cos people always would buy presents for the orphans. Then the staff sorted them out and made sure the right child got appropriate gifts.I had so many friends , and was happy and she seemedto be too.

Today she said when we went back for a reunion, at christmas, last year she said i sat on her the whole time so no one could see her. I thought she was speaking metaphorically, but she said no, i was actually physically sitting on her.

Needless(i hope!) to say none of her acussations are true.

But she seems to be out of touch with reality now,although she has a good job,she works for the B.B.C! she does costume desighn. I could only dream of a job like that.Although im very intelligent my attention disorder really held me back.

Although im doing so well she keeps saying im just like her, a miserable wretch.

Im starting to worry if i could have really done these dreadful things,and have blocked the memories out. She only accessed these memories with the help of a therapist,by the way.

Im terribly worried. She says more and more bonkers stuff when ever i speak with her.

If i try to sugest she needs to see a psychiatrist instead of a therapist that charges 100 pounds an hour, she starts to scream and bangs down the phone.

Maybe something awful did happen to her, but she seemed happy and normal til puberty.

Im feeling so guilty and stressed, this tearing me apart. my friend gave me a valium last night to calm me, but the minute i swallowed it i felt more panicky than ever, and i managed to sick it up. Sorrey to gross you all out but i picked thru the sick till i found it,THEN i felt more peacefull.

This has been a big massive vent, but i cant beilieve that God has given me this to deal with at this stage of my recovery.

I desperately need you support and advice.


Clancy - so upset and confused

[margo]

Gee Clancy - that is very strange. I don't think you should start doubting yourself, though, and think that you might have actually done these things (think about it rationally for a sec - you couldn't have been sitting on her, for example). The therapist could be a bit of a kook, you know - could be one of these new-age types who muck about with people's minds when they don't know what they're doing. Would it be possible for you to speak privately with her family physician and voice your concerns? You should be able to do that in confidence. My brother Stephen had a mental breakdown at one time and displayed many of the same behaviours. Strange, though, that she is holding down a good job - I would think if she'd had some kind of breakdown that it would be evident in all areas of her life. Although it's hard, Clancy, try not to take it to heart and don't let it be a reason to use again - this is part of being clean (handling life on life's terms) and it can be hard, but you can do it.

Love and hugs.

[wakowife]

Clancy: wow!! that's an understatement, i dont think that you should go on second guessing yourself, yo have come a long way and if this is only coming out at the suggestion of her thearpist, i would bet that this thearpist isn't thebest in his/her field. maybe you should stay away for awhile (keep the distance) and when you and her talk, if she brings up these things tell her that you really dont remember any of that stuff happening, and then try to change the subject. sometimes if people see they are getting to you, they create the atmosphere all the more.

my prayers are with you

Bernadette

[Juls]

I don't know what to think Clancy. It seems if you had tormented her that much you'd remember at least some of it. Particularly if you had been sitting on her last year at christmas.

I wouldn't worry about her therapist thinking you are psycho. If the person is a good therapist, they should be able to recognize a disturbance in behavior of this nature.

Juls

[Paulie]

Clancy -

I can only say ditto to the above. You know what you did and didn't do. What her therapist thinks of you really should not matter. Hopefully she will come around and see that she is not thinking clearly.

[51anna]

Hi Clancy, I am so sorry for this difficult situation. It must be so sad for you. I would not doubt myself if I were you. Many of us forget some childhood memories, but it seems like your sister may be very confused and perhaps as you said, she may be in need of psychiatric help rather than a therapist. I'm sure it must be unnerving to hear accusations like that, but hang on Clanc. Hopefully, things will begin to get better for your sister, and for your relationship.

Hugs and love, Anna