I relapsed after 23 years of sobriety

[renberg]

I wish I could say I had good reason to relapse as My husband passed away and then my dog of 17 years and than my Dad.
But those are just excuses. I was alone and I got it in my head to see if I could drink normally after all those years. Well it is worse than ever. I did go to detox and am trying to put my life back together. Thank God I found this message board.
Please help

[GINABGH]

hey. i am gina. i am in detox. thought it was getting better but i have had a hard 2 days. i guess it just comes and goes. you sound like a strong person. just use that and remeber there are people here for you.

[renberg]

It does get better even in detox. Keep hanging in.
When you get home do exactly what the program says and you will make it.
Thank you for replying to me. It helps.

[Paulie]

Welcome to you both. I am glad you found SR, we are all friends here and love when new people join us.

Detoxing is not easy Gina, and renberg said, do what is suggested to you, it does get easier.

Renberg, first let me say how sorry I am for your loses, my heart and prayers go out to you.

Second let me commend you on realizing the excuses that we use to get loaded. You can find recovery again, I know you know that. We will be right here with you to help all we can.

[renberg]

I need all the help and support I can get.
I am going back to AA, reading the big book, and twelve by twelve.. A sober life is so much better than what I recently had.

[DolphinBlue]

Welcome renberg,

I'm glad you came and hope that you're feeling a bit better today. Although I feel your pain through your messages, I admire your courage and honesty and am sure these qualities will get you back on your feet again soon.

That is a lot of loss to take and my prayers are with you.

Gina, welcome and hang in there! It does get better and a lot easier.

Amy

[Pamsters]

Hey Renberg,

You did the 23 years clean right? Don't beat yourself up. You had a lot of death and grief to deal with. I know people with good amount of clean time and they are still constantly going to meeting and teach others on and ongoing basis. Remember, you have 23 years of experience, strengh and hope to still share with others. You can do it!

[wakowife]

welcome , i know first hand how hard it is to deal with death, 4 1/2 years ago i lost my brother ( he was 34) this past Feb (Valentine's Day) i lost my mom, i was very close to both of them, and after both losses i lost my sobriety. but i have found my way back, thanks to love and support from my family and friends, But i also owe a lot of thanks to the wonderful people that have helped me thru this site. you will find that the people here are very supportive and if you reach out, they will be here for you.

keep coming back, it works if you work it.

my thoughts and prayers are with you

Bernadette

[Juls]

Hi Renberg,

This does happen to people. I had ten years of no drug or alcohol use, although I hadn't been addicted yet. I just didn't want to be doing that while raising my son. Then, when I was very unhappy in my life I started taking pills and got addicted very quickly.

Although it's been difficult, in some ways I am glad that it happened because it's given me an opportunity to learn and grow that I might not otherwise have realized.

This is a time for you to learn and grow. This does not mean you are a failure in any sense of the word. Nor does it mean all your years of clean time don't count for anything anymore.

You are doing now what you need to do to take care of yourself. Keep posting to let us know how you are doing.

Juls

[stardustx]

Hey, it's going to be alright. You're doing the right thing, coming here and all. 4 1/2 years ago I relapsed after 17 years sober. I beat myself up for a week or two, scared to go to a meeting and all, then stepped right back into the loving and caring arms of my program. It happens, as does life. I learned that it is more difficult staying sober once one has relapsed, I have to be more involved in this program and all, but over time it does get easier. I learned that because of the length of my sobriety, I had become complacent, thinking I had it beat. Ha! Guess I don't know everything. :-) I appreciate the last 4 1/2 years more than I ever did the first 17, and I find I am now much more compassionate to others who have not yet become ready to engage in this program. There are positives to it that you will see as you continue your journey in sobriety. All will be as it is meant to be. You take care and love yourself, you're only human, and welcome home.

[bikerprincess]

Renberg Welcome to SR. I appreciate your honesty and for me (a couple days short of 11 months) I need to know that if we stop doing the deal...no matter how much time...it can happen. I am TRULY sorry for all of your losses!

Lots of new names...I need to check in more often. Welcome everybody!!

Anne

[Chy]

Hi Renberg I am glad you found us. You will find all the love and support you can handle. I too am truly sorry for your devastating losses and for your slip out of recovery. You have us now to lean on we're here to help just say the word!

*hugs*

[51anna]

Hi Renberg, I am sorry for all the recent losses you have suffered and for your relapse. You have chosen a great place to hang around and there are many terrific women on this board who can offer you support and understanding. Keep posting!

Love, Anna