Test - why cant i post

[TakingControl]

Looking for support - Tried posting many times with NO LUCK - Is it me or the computer/site ...? THIS IS MY STORY:
Hello SRC
I am a 27 yr old Female - My "journey" with opiates started when I was 18 - I was prescribed opiates to control a chronic pain condition called Endometriosis; At first, being on opiates was the answer to the endless days I was spending just laying in bed in excruciating amounts of pain - I could do anything NOW, I was never educated on the long term effects of opiate use, I was young, uninformed & all I wanted was to get "better" and these little pills were the answer to it all.

It started with Vicodin, then to Oxycodone, then it got to a point where I was needing more of the medication to treat the daily pain & after about 6 months of having my OBGYN prescribing me these meds she sent me to a local pain clinic.

I visited the pain clinic for the first time on my 19th birthday - I was so hopeful & excited - after spending nights/days in the hospital & ER's, I was looking forward to the prospect of working with doctors who were trained in dealing with chronic pain & who would also provide me with ways of coping & dealing with the pain aside from just taking pain medication - Boy was I wrong about that.

I was assigned to one of the BEST pain doctors in the clinic, I mean this DR has patients who come from all over the states because his reputation is so good - I walked into his exam room, my vitals were taken along with my temperature by his nurse, she left & he came in - He was nice, compassionate & understanding to all that I had lost due to my pain - After him listening to my 30min sob story he asked me " So what pain meds work the best for you" - I walked out with scripts for Ms Contion, Oxycodone, Dilaudid & over the last 5 yrs I have at some point been on everything from Fentanyl to Morphine ( the only thing I have never been on is Oxycontin)

Again I was never educated, or so much given a slight warning on "what could happen" after being on these meds for a extended period of time & I do not want to place all the blame on the Dr's; Yes I could have done my own research & educated myself, but all I cared about was I was in pain & definitely not emotional sound at this point & these pills were going to take all that away and I would go back to living like any other 19yr old out there....

I am now 27 & my life couldn't be any further from what I had always hoped & dreamed it would be at this time in my life - of course over the years my dosing was just increased every time I voiced that I was having to take more medicine to get the same pain relief - within the last 6mnths I had resorted to getting pills from 3rd parties to get me through till my next fill, because of my increased usage I was of course running out of my prescription early & had to find other means to get me through, so I would not get dope sick. I never resorted to, "Street Drugs" only pharmaceuticals and never took them other than the "oral" route.

On Thanksgiving, I was driving home alone, of course, with just me, myself & my thoughts - I truly was 100% honest with myself, that this ALL had gotten out of control & that I needed to TAKE CONTROL & get off the opiates.

I called my Mom, spilled the beans on all that had been going on, told her everything & that I was going to do whatever it took to get off the pills, At this time I was on
- 90 Mgs of Ms Contin
- 60 Mgs of Oxycodone
( The above was what I was prescribed, but in all truth I was running through Month prescriptions in about a week & a half to two weeks, leaving me 2 weeks out till my next fill, this being when I was going through 3rd parties to carry me through till my next fill)

I was living my life from hour to hour, min to min, pill to pill - it was ridicules, everything in my life suffered, My Relationship (cant really believe he is still around), My career, My finances, My schooling, everything was effected and to be completely honest I FU,ed everything - I do not even think I have fully grasped the reality of the situation & how much "Correcting" I have to do once I am "well".

So now I am on day 21 without any opiates - I will not go into detail about the Cold Turkey Withdraw process (if you do want details, just let me know & I can post a new thread or private message about it), I will just say the first week, was hell & you have to have someone there to "watch" after you, cause my mind was so out of it & FU,ed, that if I didn't have my mom there I probably wouldn't have made it or even worst done something(unknowingly) to myself

Now to the whole point of this thread - My biggest issues now are not the physical withdrawal, as I think I am pretty much over that part of the process - but I am having problems with the "mental" part as well as I have NO ENERGY do anything, like I literally feel like passing out just walking up the 13 stairs from my downstairs to upstairs -

So MY QUESTION IS: Anyone who has been clean for sometime, How long did it take for you to feel like a "normal" person again? Is there anything I can do to increase my energy level & do you know of any good "alternative" ways to deal with the mental/depression side of getting clean.

I am also here for support - I think the worst part is the guilt that you feel after clearing the fog out & facing the reality of what you have done
I am finding it easier to withdraw instead of talking about it, so I hope my post will find someone, anyone who can understand what it is I am experiencing, Not that I would wish this horrible "truth" onto anyone.

I look forward to any and all replies, Sorry for such a long post, I just have a lot to get out of this head & heart of mine, they are weighing very heavily & some how I hope this will help
Thank You In Advance

[Sugah]

I suggest you go to a few NA meetings and see if you can identify. I couldn't do anything about the mental part, which was so much a part of who I was, until I started making changes in me.

The fatigue goes on for awhile. You've lived that way a long time, and it's going to take some time to repair the damage. Eat well, drink plenty of water, take a B-complex and exercise, even if you don't feel like it.

And keep posting. I did C/T, and I know it's not pleasant. But you're on the other side now, and if you want to keep it that way, now's the time for action.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[HumbleBee]

I totally get why you posted on the women's forum, but have you checked out the Substance Abuse or NA formus on this site? There are some recent and similar situations as yours from what I can see (at least on the Substance Abuse one).

Maybe you'll "meet" another woman who you might be able to identify/relate to online there.

All the best,
Bee

[barb dwyer]

hi -

along with my alcoholism,
I also had a oxy ad morph habit.

When I got sober, however -
mty thyroid shut down.
I had NO energy,
got dizzy at absolyetly MUNDANE tasks.

I urge you to go get a 'full panel' blood test,
to include your TSH count.

I suffered I mean SUFFERED with
chronic thyroid condition for over a YEAR
before the doc finally ran the right test.

I hope you don't have to go through what I did.

Full Panel, with TSH T3/T4 count.

[Impurrfect]

Welcome to SR!

When I first joined here, I also came to this forum

There are several people on the SA (substance abuse) forum that have dealt with opiate withdrawal, but you may want to search older posts. You can type "opiate withdrawal" in the search window. I know Bvaljalo has several posts on it, but I haven't seen him around in a little while.

The people here are friendly and supportive. I post on several forums and have always found ES&H (experience, strength and hope). My DOC (drug of choice) was crack, though I did abuse opiates for a while. I was fortunate to not have withdrawals, though I don't know why. I know when my stepmom went through withdrawals, she had no energy for several weeks.

((Sugah)) is right...when our bodies are used to a substance for YEARS, it takes a while for it to remember how to function WITHOUT those substances. There are a LOT of people here, though, that got through it and have a good amount of recovery time.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[TakingControl]

THANK YOU ALL - Thank you for your suggestions on the other forums I will for sure check them out - I am now on day 22 and still feel like I am going to pass out even though I have forced my self to eat & keep hydrated, However I have still been taking the Clondine(Sp) which is a blood pressure medicine to help with chills, & it lowers your blood pressure so I am thinking I may need to stop taking that cause my blood pressure maybe getting to low & I am on a few other medicines for the pain (non narcotic) which also maybe causing some of the low energy & like many of you said I have ran my body through hell & back for years & years that I would agree it its pretty unrealistic to believe that it would just snap back in a matter of weeks - Thank you all for your compassion & concern - I am under the care of a Doc, its my same Pain Doc who I was getting my narcotics from. (when I decided to go cold turkey on day 2 I was so out of my mind I somehow got a hold of my Dr @ 9pm & I was talking so crazy he told me to come in with my mom first thing the next morning - at which time I came clean to him about my opiate abuse and we came up with a "Non Opiate" pain plan & I just had to suffer through the withdrawal, I refused to go on a Sub or Meth, I just heard horror stories & I almost wanted to feel the withdrawal to keep me from ever going back on opiates)
I truly appreciate you all reaching out to me - like I said in my first post I would never wish this "pain" on anyone but it seems like a whole lot less of a burden when you know others have experienced what you are going through and have come out on the other side - it gives me hope & encouragement that I too can be "one of those people/stories" that inspires others in similar situations with opiate abuse/ substance abuse that they too can be strong enough & that they to can live a better life - You all are wonderful women & I cant thank you all enough for your compassion and concern
I will keep you all posted & definitely keep in touch with all of you - You have made a difference in my life - Thank You !!!!!!!!!!! xoxox <3 TC