christmas

[juliwuli]

anyone else not looking foreward to it? i dont mean to sound a misery-guts but its just too much now, its nothing to do with alcohol, im actually looking foreward to my first sober christmas in 20 years! its my teenage kids, they wany every fancy gadget and designer clothing you can imagine and we just cant afford it, once the bills are paid there is nothing left for christmas prezzies, i only keep my internet connection because i do online competitions and of course i cannot be without SR, i dont know what i'd have done without SR in early sobriety,
anyway, im really stressed with this constant barrage of christmas questions such as 'have you bought my designer jeans yet?' etc etc, i feel like SCREAMING!
phew, i feel a bit better now having got that off my chest,

[Gypsy Feet]

I am stressed because of the holidays yes=) My kids are older now, and get that I don't have the cash. I pay a bill for my youngest, and my step sons usually get a $50 gift card from me. When the were younger, they always got only one big ticket item from us, (play stations, puppies, skateboards, barbie condos etc) plus stockings.

I always use the credit card to pay for gifts, and then spend a few months into the new year paying it off. This year I have lots of co workers and such that I would at least like to give handmade gifts to, not sure I will find the time!

[nandm]

I have not celebrated Christmas since my first year of sobriety that was nearly 9 years ago. This is the first time I have thought it might be nice to actually decorate a bit and have a tree.

Christmas for me meant a huge amount of stress. Even in childhood holidays were always horrible times as we had to walk on eggshells because we never knew when or why my mom would explode since she was more stressed during holidays. It was a time for elaborate gifts and then stress over the money I spent that I did not have.

After being unemployed for nearly 4 years I also did not and do not have the money to spend on elaborate gifts for my children or anyone else. All my children are now grown except for my youngest whom I no longer have contact with due to my ex husband and choices I made early in sobriety. I guess I am fortunate as even when my children were teenagers in my early sobriety they have finally learned that Christmas is not about how many gifts you get but about knowing how much you are loved by others.

Hang in there as it does change the longer you are sober. Love and cherish your children this holiday and even if they can not see it now they will learn that it isn't about the money but about the love. Do something like make cookies and encourage them to help you. This allows you to spend time together. Have them volunteer at a soup kitchen or food bank with you, that would help teach them to appreciate what they do have. There are many other things you can do besides give elaborate gifts that in the long run will help your children grow. They may resent it right now but in the long run will appreciate it.

[indigo]

I celebrate Yule in a very vague way. Not being a Christian I suppose I have no need. When My children grew up we had celebrations for Yule presents exchanged etc & I send cards occasionally in respect of my Christuian friends.

[gneiss]

I'm not much of a Christmas-type either. In fact, I really dislike it. I'm always depressed around the holidays. I was clean and sober for a week last Christmas. My cousin took one look at me, pulled me aside, and asked if I was doing dope. Takes one to know one. I'm not especially looking forward to this year.

As for kids "hinting" about their gift preferences, my mom handled it this way: We could give her a Wish List with 3 or 4 larger items that she could select from. And it wasn't a big deal if we saw an item on the list was on sale somewhere to tell her. But if we did much more "hinting" than that she'd tell us that Santa Claus doesn't negotiate with terrorists. If she had to say it again we were unlikely to receive that gift. She had the list, there's no reason we needed to nag her about it.