Moms out there

[Krismutt1]

Just curious what you Moms out there have done/are doing to get and stay sober.

Day one for me. I'm a 29 year old working Mom of a 5 & 2 year old trying to get sober.


Any advice and suggestions would be so helpful

[AlonebutHopeful]

Hi there. Congratulations on Day 1. Stay busy. Keep your mind occupied and sooner or later you will just notice it gets better. Or you find yourself not thinking about "it" 24 hours a day.

[Ajax]

Welcome Kris! You have come to one of the best places I can imagine for
advice, friendship and help. You'll be amazed at how many people have
been where you've been, felt what you've felt. And in time, you'll find
yourself reaching out to someone looking for a hand, and so it goes...

Kris, I was the mother of 4 small children, one just 3 months old, when I
got sober. My oldest was 5. I, like you, felt I had to do something before
these kids grew aware of what was going on. I'm sure that they saw the
"silly, funny" mum when ever their father was on a business trip and came
to expect it. However, I knew at some point it wasn't going to be funny
anymore and I owed my kids more than that. I couldn't bear the thought
of my kids having memories of me having to be put to bed or in one of my
emotional crying jags when I was drunk. They simply didn't deserve that.
And, frankly, I don't believe any child does.

I entered a rehab for 19 days during which my husband,(now my ex), brought
the kids over to visit occasionally. That tore their hearts out and they really
didn't understand. They still have vague memories of coming and coloring in
my room on the floor. However, this last summer, the older kids and I,(they are
now 14 and 12), finally talked about that time. They never knew I was an al-
coholic. It never seemed strange to them that we just didn't have any alcohol
in our house. It's simply not something they grew up with.

I did attend one AA meeting a week. It was a women's group which I was not sure
I would like at first. I was afraid it would be full of male-bashing or husband-haters.
My husband at the time was extremely supportive and I didn't want to feel I
couldn't bring that up. I was also afraid it might be cliquey. But, I gave it a try. I
found the best group!! They could all relate to what it was like to be a mother/
woman alcoholic which, like it or not, is different in this society from being a male
alcoholic. I explained to the kids that I went to a meeting on Monday nights to
talk with other women about "Woman Things".

I'm sorry this is so long winded, but I just want to tell you I've been where you've
been and it is so worth it to get to the other side. The relationship you will have
with your family and yourself is priceless.

Keep up the good work and pm me if you want!

~Ajax

[txsar]

Hello,

I'm a stay at home mom of an 8 & 4 year old. I'm only on Day 11 so I'm still trying to figure this thing out too. I have some good days and some bad days. To get through the cravings and/or urges I try to distract myself with something else because I know it will pass and it usually doesn't take that long. I went to my first AA meeting last Saturday. It was a Women's only meeting. I'm planning to go back. Everyone was welcoming and supportive. I thought I'd try the Women's meeting first as I figured I could relate to them a little better. My drink of choice was wine and I drank usually starting around 5:00 or 5:30 in the afternoon and continued until I went to bed. Instead of the wine I just drink something else such as tea, water with lemon, juice. In the evenings when I'm watching tv I drink herbal tea. I've never been a hot tea drinker but it's replacing the wine I used to drink plus it has no calories and no caffeine.

Welcome to SR. There is a lot of good advise, encouragement and inspiration here.

[Gypsy Feet]

good for you quitting while they are still so young. My recovery program includes reading every book the library gets in on addictions, AA meetings, physical exercise, and of course SR.

But the biggest thing that keeps me sober is the fact that my 21 year old daughter had to tell me the hideous tale of my last night drunk, which involved naked and gross and ick. I am happy your children will never have to do that for you

[stephnc]

I'm glad to find a thread to "moms" tonight. I'm missing my son and feeling a little melancholy about the fact that my boy hasn't lived with me for over a year now, since an unfortunate incident involving a Nyquil overdose that landed me in the hospital for two weeks in August of 2008. I have yet to share much of my story on this board, but losing custody of my only child has been one of the worst repercussions of my alcoholism.

I congratulate you on trying to get help before your drinking gets worse. Hang in there and remember you're not alone.

[Sugah]

Welcome, steph, Krismutt, all others new to the forums.

steph, I've been where you are. It's safe here to share what's in you to share. If you'd rather pm, please don't hesitate to give a holler.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[mfanch]

Welcome! I'm new here too. Just picked up my 6 month chip last week. I actually, with the help of an addiction counselor, wrote up a treatment plan back in June when I got clean. I still follow it to this day. I posted it here on SR somewhere....I will try to find it.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2254073 (Finally hit MY bottom.)

Everyone's recovery is different, but I just wanted to share what mine was. I have never had real clean time before, so this is a big deal for me. My kids are 8 and 5.

Keep comin back!!

mfanch

[anono]

keep coming back is the key! reach out talk, listen, then listen some more..

one day at a time

[juliwuli]

i dont think ahead i just say 'i'm not going to drink TODAY' tommorow will get sorted out when it gets here, ive spent too many years worrying about the future, what if this happens? what will i do when that happens? one day i just couldnt stand it anymore now i dont give a damn what happens it will get sorted when it happens, almost every time nothing did happen and i was worrying for nothing,
i used to drink so i could cope with life, when all the time it was making things 1000 times worse...but i just couldnt see that,
i also remember my awful embarrassing drunken antics, not the same one, there is plenty to choose from, my kids are teenagers now, i so wish i'd stopped drinking when they were younger, half the time they had to fend for themselves, but i'm trying to make up for that now,
welcome to SR btw, this site is fab, loads of info here,