Why?!

[NAchic]

I have been waiting to get to a point in my life where i feel great. I am in recovery, working the steps, and embracing all of it. I start a great job next week, I am learning coping skills to deal with my issues and it all feels wonderful! But sometimes i find myself feeling down and i guess i thought once my life was going good i would not have these feelings anymore. When i have these feelings I try and lift my spirits by thinking about what i am grateful for, just sometimes does not work.
Thanks for letting me share with ya.

[Gypsy Feet]

ya, I hate just getting the blues for no reason. For a short time watching a good comedy with my room mate takes my mind off it anyway.

I'm just glad they pass=)

[laurie6781]

I too was like you for a long time in recovery.

What it took me so long to grasp is that I was LIVING LIFE on LIFE'S TERMS and that meant that there would be 'up' times, and there would be 'down' times and my job was to get through it all without picking up and using again.

One more "Acceptance" I had to learn. To accept life as it was, that I would have bad days or even weeks, and that if I did not have them now and again, how in the heck was I going to know when I was having good days or even weeks. <vbg>

When that 'acceptance' finally came, remaking my 'Gratitude List' started to work wonders on me. Not only did it show me how far I had come, it gave me hope that there were great things in store for the future.

And you know what?

There were and still are.

My life has been so much greater and better than I could ever have dreamed!

So hang in there. Life sober and clean is an adventure and we never know what 'curve ball' is coming at us and what 'tools' we will use to get through it and beyone to greater things.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much.

Love and hugs,

[NAchic]

Thanks for the idea Gypsy Feet, I think that is just what I'll do tonight with my family.

[ashleek]

Hey....guess what.....after a storm is always a rainbow......RIGHT? You said it!!

Much love!

[Sugah]

In doing my 4th step, I saw a pattern emerge. When opportunities came along -- things that would move me into a better place -- I'd find myself feeling overwhelmed and sabotage any chance of success. It didn't change automatically when I got clean.

Know what helped me a lot? Learning to be grateful (even making those damned lists) and learning to take one thing at a time -- which is simple, but not always easy. Oh -- and learning that it's okay to be okay. I don't necessary have to be bouncing on rainbows every minute of every day.

Congrats on the new job!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[NAchic]

Thank you Laurie, Ashlee, and Sugah. I guess I was thinking life would always be rainbows when we're not using. That everything in life would be better just because I am clean. I don't have thoughts of using when I get down, just kind of a blah feeling.

Sugah, thank you for the congrats on my new job. I am very excited about it!

[Anna]

It's interesting, one of the reasons I started drinking, was because I kept thinking I should be able to solve all my problems and have a perfect life. We do have to learn that life isn't always what we would choose, but it is what we have and we have a choice about how we deal with it.

You're doing great and try to focus on how far you've come.

[tara2]

Sometimes people make it sound like your problems will all be solved and you will always feel good while living in sobriety. It does get more manageable. I found in time I had more tools to fight the blues with but I still have them occasionally. Those are times when it's important to do a lot of self care and have balance in my life.. and help contribute to the stream of life wherever I can.

[Believe808]

I have found that life on life's terms is not always great, but when I remember that its only a bad day, just one bad day, I am able to deal with it better. When I was using, they were all bad days, couldn't crawl out of them, but today using the tools of the program I am better equiped to deal with them. Upon waking each day, I pray on my knees and then I make a gratitude list, I make a new list every day because that helps me center myself. There is alot that goes on and some days I find it very hard to make that gratitude list, but I still do and when I am finished, I feel somewhat better than before I started.

Good luck with the new job, NA, that's really great.

[NAchic]

Thank you all for your thoughts, Just reading through has me feeling better and grateful that I am off to bed and able to get a good night sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and am stepping down in my IOP program!! So it's a Special day for me tomorrow!

Thanks everyone