Self-Pity 9/5/03

[Paulie]

Self-Pity 9/5/03

Pity is the deadliest feeling that can be offered to a woman.
-Vicki Baum

We must move forward with confidence, trusting that the strength we need will be given us, having faith in our visions to guide us. Problems need not daunt us. Rather, they can spur us on to more creative activity. They challenge our capabilities. They insist that we not stand still.

Pity from others fosters inaction, and passivity invited death of the soul. Instead, our will to live is quickened through others' encouragement. All else dampens the will. Pity feeds the self-pity that rings the death knell.

We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.

We can serve on another best, never by commiserating with sadness, but by celebrating life's challenges. They offer the opportunities necessary to our continues growth.

Someone needs a word of encouragement from me. I will brighten her vision of the future.

(Our friend DB is out of town but wanted to be sure that we had our daily reading while she was gone)
thank you DB!!!!!

[Paulie]

We can give strokes wherever we are today and know that we are helping someone live. And each time we reach out to encourage another, we are breathing new life into ourselves, new life that holds at bay the self-pity that may appear at any moment.

I read that part 3 times, it is SO TRUE!!!!!! positive = postive, negative = negative.

There are certain people in my life that today I know I can reach out to that will not encourage my self pity mood and there are certain one that my disease knows will feed into it. It is a choice that I make who I reach out to.

[2stop]

Very appropriate post today Paulie. I was thinking earlier.....why do I have to do all this?? Moving two households, no husband home, a migraine to boot....and on and on I went...but then I stopped and looked at each thing I was thinking about..I am helping my dad because I love him, and he has helped me, my husband isn't home because he's working to make a better life for us..and the migraine? well, I don't know how to explain that away..but I know I probably brought it on myself with stressing out and trying to be Superwoman......So..I am not feeling sorry for myself now....but I feel ashamed for being so selfish about things...issues, issues, issues............

[Paulie]

Don't be ashamed, that will get you no where. Be proud of yourself for realizing where you are and not sitting in it!!!!

You go girl!!!!!!!!!!

[kristen0416]

wow
a great reflection for the day.
self pity shuts me down. i drags me into the cave that i
clawed tooth and nail to get out of. i am thankful today
that i have a hubbie that supports instead of pities.
pity is the worst regardless of who it comes from. it definitely
spawns inaction. i needed to see that written down.
it's funny how you dont' realize something so obvious
until it's brought to your attention.
great thought for the day...and something that needs
to be recognized and dealt with accordingly when i get
there. i dont' want to jeapordize my recovery on something
so easily worked on.

thanks for sharing
kristen:banger

[Blazinglory]

What an AWESOME post...THANK YOU!

Thank God for the Program, 12 Steps, Beautiful women in recovery and a new way of life HP has so freely given me!

Early in recovery I heard another addict talk about sympathy and self-pity. He said, "You can learn all about wanting somebody to feel sorry for you (self-pity) in the dictionary...I believe it's between *?#!*?#!*?#!*?#! & syphillis in there."

These past couple of months have been extremely overwhelming & stressfull at times. I started a new job, ended a 7 year relationship, moved out, August 7th I celabrated 20 years clean & later that night ended up in the hospital for chest pains (was at work and rushed to the hospital in an ambulance), 2 weeks later ended up in the ER again (pneumonia) quit my job and I'm packing again to move back to my home town....friends and family are freaking out & my attitude, "When life hands us lemons make some lemonaid!" Thank God I'm clean, alive, still kicking & breathing.

Believe me I had the thoughts, "I've been clean this long, WHAT THE F***. The only thing the program (NA) ever promised me was freedom from active addiction as long as I don't pick up, work the Steps, go to meetings, have a relationship with my Sponsor and daily contact with my HP...I learned to accept that I'm not allergic to problems or Life on Life's terms (damn it!) LOL

Guess what I'm trying to say, HP will continue to give me lessons that I don't agree with or understand sometimes but I know I still have a lot of healing and growing up to do...sitting around in self-pity will not get it done....Living the Program and working those spiritual principles in all of my affairs will.

THANKS for letting me share!

(((((HUGS)))))