Somebody light a fire under my a** please...

[2stop]

Oh ladies...I have not really accomplished much today..and I am just going in circles when I do try..LOL!!!I don't want to move or think...the thinking is becomin less of a problem..my brain today has just plain quit on me..my kids were hollerin MOM! over and over earlier, and I just sat here, I kinda feel like Goldie Hawn on Overboard...after doing all the chores that day..just sittin in a chair making funny noises from the sheer exhaustion of it all!!LOL!! Lighting my cigarette seems too much at the moment...give me a push ladies..need some kindlin for the fire!!!!:p

[51anna]

2Stop, you don't need a push, you just need to take a break. It doesn't all have to be done today. And, you know that the more tired you are, the more likely it is that your kids will be getting on your nerves. And, your poor nerves are already frayed. Chill out girl! Take a break and feel those positive vibes I'm sending your way.

Hugs, Hugs and love,
Anna

[2stop]

I suppose your right... a break is in order! LOL!! I think I will have to soak in a tub of ice cubes to "chill out" though...
(((((((HUGS))))) back to ya..and thanks for the positive vibes!!! I can feel them already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Chy]

:thumb Theres your fire girl but can I say....
H E L L O!!!!!! You have got to be exhausted moving two households girlfriend! Give yourself a break, soak them tootsies, eat a big piece of cake and ~~chill!~~

[2stop]

I think I am giving myself a breakdown..LOL!!!! I've been sittin here just a stewin in my thoughts and expectations.....drivin myself nutty today, I am. I have been going from the attic to the basement and unloading more stuff at my dad's house..tomorrow the landlady is showing the house...so tardo me is mopping floors, scrubbing bathroom..again and then it dawned on me...I am in the middle of moving, I bet they'd understand!!LOL!!!!! We women just don't know how to chill do we????Gotta go! Gotta go! Gotta go! is our motto...

Gotta go to bed soon..so I can lay awake and plan tomorrow's Olympic aerobic races..............:p

[51anna]

I'm worried about you Tammie. You're not overdoing it at all are you??!!

It's true, I think we women figure we have to do it all, all the time. Try and take a break.

My thoughts are with you this evening. Good luck tomorrow.

Love and hugs,

Anna

[wingsfree]

2stop.......Lordy girl, slow it down there. Laughing at you saying you feel like Goldie Hawn on Overboard.

It is amazing the great lengths us woman push ourselves too, gosh are we nuts or what, lol, yeah I agree Gotta Gotta Go, it's our Motto, I'll have to remember that one. Smiles you

Luv and hugs 2Stop.......SLOW IT DOWN, guess what Rome wasn't built in a day...........Denise

[2stop]

I know I need to slow down...but I am so worried I won't get it all done....and I just remembered a ton of other stuff I MUST get done tomorrow. When I could drive life was so much easier, now I have to rely on my hubby and my dad, my hubby is gone all week so mostly my dad, his health isn't too well...he had eye sugery two weeks ago, so i am helping him alot with the move from his house...it's the one we are buying..I have to go and clean the kids school tomorrow too....if you haven't already noticed my mind is really racing tonight.....sorry to go on and on, thought maybe if I write it all out I can see where I can amnage and maybe look at it all in a bettre light.. Thanks for the encouragement ya ll'' Love you guys!!!!!!

[Paulie]

Hey Tammie -

I am sending hugs your way. I have to admit I thought you wanted me to kick your butt about meetings when I read the tread title.

I am gonna preach some more to you right now. How about the meeting on Thursday, did you make it? I know you have ALOT to do right now, but, well you know what I am going to say.

Listen the faster I spin trying to get things done the less I get done. Make a list and just go through them one by one and finish one task at a time. If I don't make a list and stick to it I get distracted say emptying the garbage and don't go back and finish what I started. It happened to me several times yesterday taking stuff out of the bedrooms to have the carpets cleaned, I understand.

Just stop and take a breath and say a prayer.

[2stop]

LOL , Paulie....I hear ya on the meetings. I tried my best to get to one last night, I was so stressed I was ready to RUN through the doors..the time is coming..soon(I know it sounds like procrastinating, but I honestly am not):p

Yes, I make lists...and more lists....and then just run all around the house anyways..I swear I am so undisciplined!! I really hate that about myself too, so it IS a goal I am working on, but my oh my what atask..I think I'll have to join the military so it can beat into my head..LOL!!!

((((((((((((HUGS))))))))) back to ya Paulie...How's that brother of your doing? I hope he is recovering well.

[Paulie]

Thank you for asking Tam, he is doing well. It is amazing. His energy level is pretty low but when I went to see him last night, you could really tell that he had a heart attack on Monday - it was incredible.

I picked him up and took him to our rental to show him, he was proud of his little sis and he said he wants me to take care of him in his old age. that was my opening to pull out the skillet and give him a good whack -
I said, why don't you take care of you so there is old age!!!!
I whacked him good!!!!

Now for you - duck cause here comes the skillet your way!
Kidding, just kidding.
I am not going to lighten up on you though!!!
I know what you mean about the list after list. I was/sometimes as the same way. I had to start doing just 1 list, it takes practice and a concious effort on my part. Sometimes I get NOTHING done on the list, and sometimes I get some things done. Practice makes better remember.
But...when you are spinning trying to stay sober without a recovery program it makes it harder to get done what you need to do. It makes it harder to deal with life on lifes terms.

Okay so I did whack you with the skillet, but not to hard .

[Chy]

Oh shucks Paulie, I wanted to whack her! *LOL* I think between the two of she's gonna have to run to that meeting to keep us out of her hair! Also glad to here your brother is out of the woods. Now he has to take better care of himself. Did they put him in physical therapy or an exercise program?

[Tipsy_Rat]

Hey!

you really sound like you need a break....

If only i lived near you... (im thinking most people live in the US on here... I'm in England) I'd offer to babysit your kids...

I guess the best i can do is send you loadsda love over the Atlantic...

Lots of love..

Tipsy_Rat

[kristen0416]

just wanted to check in and see if you were still running around like crazy?
y'know since you're not going to meetings you've probably never seen the acronym HALT.
we risk relapse if we get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.

just a thought.
hope you can take a rest.

How's your brother today Paulie?

hope everyone's doing okay tonite! when are those meetings going to start?? i'm excited about 'em!

love to everyone

kristen

[Chy]

Tam... hope your resting.. knowing you your probably antsy about getting the computer back up so you can come take care of us! *S* See ya soon girlie girl!

[51anna]

Good to see you here tonight. Hope you had a good weekend.

I was looking for 2Stop and Sky as well. It sure would be good to hear from them both - I miss them around here.

Have a good evening.

Hugs and love,
Anna

[Chy]

Hi Anna!

Yes a fairly decent weekend not enough hours in them though! Hopefully 2stop will be along this week as she is probably trying to find her computer amongst all her packing, but she said it would be her first priority! .. ... No doubt! *L*

I was hoping Sky would be around, but haven't seen her... hopefully she'll be making an appearance soon, I worry so much about her!

You too have a good weekend!

Love and hugs!!!

[2stop]

Just checking in with ya ladies, my puter is still here at the old house..but hard to find the time to get on here, I miss ya all bunches and bunches...and am working as hard as I can to get all this moved and unpacked and have more time on here. Our pickup has broke down and the stress level is through the roof..but am managing okay.

((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS!!)))))))))))))))

[51anna]

Tammie, good to hear from you. Sorry about your truck. Doesn't everything always happen at once??

I hope you get a little time to relax at your computer in the next few days and to reduce your stress level a whole bunch!

Take care and waiting to hear from you soon.

Hugs, Anna

[Chy]

Glad you checked in... sorry about the truck. I guess you saw it coming huh? Hang in there we'll be here when you unwind, unpack, unstress! *hugs*

[2stop]

oh ladies..I am so stressed today and hurt so bad I am in tears. I have made an appoinment to see a doc tomorrow, and I am going to ask for some pain pills. I have taken all the over the counter pain meds I can find. I can take a whole lot of pain, but this is insane to hurt so bad and have no relief. I will try to avoid the vicodin, but even that is looking really good today. I am already feeling the emotional BS from the codeine I took the past two days....I feel like I am falling down a slide that's been greased with crisco, I swear..you'd think I would be able to handle life a lot better by now. It is truly difficult learning how to have appropriate pain relief and work a program of recovery. I am just going to do the best I can but I really feel out of sorts right now, like I just can't move another step without falling apart.

[Chy]

*big hugs*

Oh Tammie I am sorry for your pain. I know physically it's hurting and mentally over stressing you. If you see the doctor be honest with him about your addiction and let him know you have a problem with pain meds. Perhaps he can modify the current prescription as I've noticed that Coedine does a bad number on you mentally. It really changes your thinking and ability to function. So maybe he can prescribe something as effective yet not as addictive as the Coedine. Then my friend.. once your done moving your gonna get your behind to a meeting... I know it's scary... you'll only regret not doing it sooner!

In the meantime... try to relax, if you can try do some slow stretches and meditation to stop your mind from racing... hang in there we love you, your gonna get through this.

[Paulie]

Tammie -

I have a few things to say. I will start with a disclaimer, this is my opinon and my opinon only.

First, I am sorry you are in pain. There is nothing wrong with taking pain medications as perscribed by a dr for pain when you are in recovery.

Second, just because we are clean does not mean that life is easy everyday. It does not mean that we don't feel like we are sliding down that slide (great description by the way, I have been there MANY times). It just means that we don't have to use over the way we feel because we have to tools to work through it.

Now the part that you are not going to like.

Working a program of recovery is more than just not using. It is a combination of things. And remember this is my opinoin, take what you want and leave the rest.

My recovery program consists first of me not using, second of my relationship with my HP, third that I attend meetings, I have a sponsor and I work the steps with the sponsor and I work with other recovering addicts on the same path that I am on.

Sorry, I do no mean to hurt your feelings Tammie I just think that you are spinning and you need some direction. You have such a warm wonderful spirit and your faith in your HP shines through in your posting and support to others here. Take that faith and use it to help yourself.

Go to a meeting this week. I know you have alot of unpacking to do. But take 1 hour and to that meeting, the packing will still be there when you get home, it will be okay.

[2stop]

i'd like to be sitting in a meeting right now. I would go right this very minute if I could. I also know my priorities are probably screwed. Tomorrow at the same time as the doc appoinment is the NA meeting..so i am feeling really rotten about that....I feel like I have failed before I even have started. I do read my NA book..a lot. I read the stories in the back alot, and tell myself over and over that I too can have the freedom of sobriety. I am petrified of how even just a few little pills takes my mental state right back to the worst days of my using. And I am also terrified of the pain from the herniated disc in my back. I also have a totally screwed up neck and my two jaws are uneven from a car wreck. The pain gets so bad that I just cannot function. So then I get very angry that I am an addict to begin with...and well you know the rest. Self-defeating talk and just plain negativity. I have never had this much trouble moving, and I guess I am just having a hard time accepting me where I am. I hate where I am and instead of focusing on moving out of the pain and on to freedom, I am convincing myself I can't have what others have because I am too dumb to even get to a meeting. I will work through this, and I will get settled into going to meetings. I am shooting for going at least 5 times a week. I haven't given up, I am just really in a pissy mood...and not liking what I know I have to face. I WILL face it, though. THIS TOO SHALL PASS..if I don't sit i