Really discouraged - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

KarenLynn · 08-15-2003, 01:05 PM

Dear Girls,
I am having one of those bad days where my mind keeps telling me how weak I am. Today is day 10 for me. Last night at an AA meeting the speaker was talking about what a hard time she was having this week (wanting a drink). She has been sober for 8 years!!! I thought that this thing eases up gradually over time. What a slap in the face that was. She's having trouble at 8 years and I've just passed 8 days. Today I feel like all the air has been let out of my balloon.

Paulie · 08-15-2003, 02:11 PM

karen -

I remember being newly sober and hearing people with time say things like that and feeling the same way you do. but today, with 8 years sober (just this week) I understand completely.

You see at 8 years or 8 days we are doing the same thing, we are all just trying to stay sober one day at a time. We are all dealing with life on lifes terms. The difference for me today at 8 years is that I have tools that I have learned in recovery to use. And I pray everyday to use the tools when I need them, because when I don't use them will be the day that I drink or use again.

It was about a month before my 5 years and I heard someone in a meeting say that everyone they know had relasped at 5 years - well what the heck do you think my disease did with the little piece of information....it was off and running telling me to use, why not, eveyone relapses at 5 years.

Our disease will use anything to make us drink or use. Anything to make me feel like crap about myself. Dont' let your disease make you feel that way today. As my sponsor says...tell you disease to go for a walk while you work your program!!!!

Sobriety is sobriety at 8 days or 8 years, like I said we have to use the tools to stay sober. Go to another meeting today, come here and vent, read program stuff, use your tools.

It does get easier, really it does, but that does not mean it is easier all the time everyday.
Hope I didn't make you feel worse - I sure wasn't trying to. Ijust want you to know that people with more time are just like you, sober today.

Okay I better stop now, I keep saying the same thing, just for today my friend.

Vevo · 08-15-2003, 03:47 PM

Hi KarenLynn! It does get better! At least that's what they have told me, and I have found that it is true. The times between ME wanting to get drunk get farther and farther apart. And for ME today, if I want to go drink over a person, place or thing would be suicide. I might as well blow my head off. It would be quicker. Messier but quicker.
Just because I haven't drank in a while doesn't mean that I am well. I'm still a drunk, that has to grow up! The situations that get under my skin are the things that happen when I am not doing well spritually. I have learned that. If I'm OK with my Higher Power, things work out well. If I'm into Viv as her higher power, things don't. LOL
Anyway, don't let what you heard scare you into giving up, and thinking to yourself "why try". You deserve better than that!
Viv

KarenLynn · 08-18-2003, 06:39 AM

Thanks Paulie and Viv,
It feels sooooooo good to read your reply's and know you care. As it turns out I got through this weekend just fine. (Weekends are the hardest for me) I just need to get into the habit of looking at each day 1 at a time and not 8 years or anything else. One day at a time I know I can do. Thank you so much for your support, it means everything.

2stop · 08-18-2003, 07:59 AM

{{Karen}}~ You're doing awesome!! I get freaked too when I read of struggles and relapses after a long clean time..but we only have this day, this very moment...and together we can make it!! Rooting for ya!!!~

KarenLynn · 08-18-2003, 08:20 AM

Dear Tammie,
I'm rooting for you too. Your sobriety date is my daughters birthday! Congrats on your 3 month anniversary Friday. I've got 13 under my belt and today WILL be one more.

2stop · 08-18-2003, 08:31 AM

Thanks Karen!~ I actually only have 34 days clean, in May is when I "sobered-up" to realizing that I had to stop using drugs or I was gonna die real soon..had a slight relapse, but am well on my way again!

Hang in there, we'll do this together!!!

2stop · 08-18-2003, 08:33 AM

13 days is awesome, I well remember how very scary those first two weeks were!! You are doing great!!!!~

KarenLynn · 08-18-2003, 08:40 AM

Thank God we "woke-up" from the trance we were in before it was too late. It's kinda like being born again isn't it? Yes we can do this together. There is power in numbers.
30 days is a big deal - I hope you go out to eat or somthing to celebrate.

SkyIsFalling42 · 08-18-2003, 10:47 AM

(((Karen)))
Welcome to the message boards! I am so glad you are here with us. Arent all of these ladies just wonderful!! I love it here so much..we are not alone.

KarenLynn · 08-18-2003, 11:09 AM

Dear Sky,
Yes, I too love it here. It feels good to know that there are others out there (MY SISTERS) who knows how I feel and who cares about me. When one of us hurts - all of us hurts.

SkyIsFalling42 · 08-18-2003, 11:19 AM

Karen
Yes you are right..we identify with each other. And we are sisters in recovery iin spirit.

08-15-2003, 01:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
KarenLynn Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Clarksville, Indiana Posts: 22	Really discouraged Dear Girls, I am having one of those bad days where my mind keeps telling me how weak I am. Today is day 10 for me. Last night at an AA meeting the speaker was talking about what a hard time she was having this week (wanting a drink). She has been sober for 8 years!!! I thought that this thing eases up gradually over time. What a slap in the face that was. She's having trouble at 8 years and I've just passed 8 days. Today I feel like all the air has been let out of my balloon.

08-15-2003, 02:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	karen - I remember being newly sober and hearing people with time say things like that and feeling the same way you do. but today, with 8 years sober (just this week) I understand completely. You see at 8 years or 8 days we are doing the same thing, we are all just trying to stay sober one day at a time. We are all dealing with life on lifes terms. The difference for me today at 8 years is that I have tools that I have learned in recovery to use. And I pray everyday to use the tools when I need them, because when I don't use them will be the day that I drink or use again. It was about a month before my 5 years and I heard someone in a meeting say that everyone they know had relasped at 5 years - well what the heck do you think my disease did with the little piece of information....it was off and running telling me to use, why not, eveyone relapses at 5 years. Our disease will use anything to make us drink or use. Anything to make me feel like crap about myself. Dont' let your disease make you feel that way today. As my sponsor says...tell you disease to go for a walk while you work your program!!!! Sobriety is sobriety at 8 days or 8 years, like I said we have to use the tools to stay sober. Go to another meeting today, come here and vent, read program stuff, use your tools. It does get easier, really it does, but that does not mean it is easier all the time everyday. Hope I didn't make you feel worse - I sure wasn't trying to. Ijust want you to know that people with more time are just like you, sober today. Okay I better stop now, I keep saying the same thing, just for today my friend. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-18-2003, 07:59 AM	#5 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	{{Karen}}~ You're doing awesome!! I get freaked too when I read of struggles and relapses after a long clean time..but we only have this day, this very moment...and together we can make it!! Rooting for ya!!!~ __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-18-2003, 08:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	Thanks Karen!~ I actually only have 34 days clean, in May is when I "sobered-up" to realizing that I had to stop using drugs or I was gonna die real soon..had a slight relapse, but am well on my way again! Hang in there, we'll do this together!!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-18-2003, 08:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	13 days is awesome, I well remember how very scary those first two weeks were!! You are doing great!!!!~ __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-15-2003, 03:47 PM	#3 (permalink)
Vevo Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Calif. Posts: 41	Hi KarenLynn! It does get better! At least that's what they have told me, and I have found that it is true. The times between ME wanting to get drunk get farther and farther apart. And for ME today, if I want to go drink over a person, place or thing would be suicide. I might as well blow my head off. It would be quicker. Messier but quicker. Just because I haven't drank in a while doesn't mean that I am well. I'm still a drunk, that has to grow up! The situations that get under my skin are the things that happen when I am not doing well spritually. I have learned that. If I'm OK with my Higher Power, things work out well. If I'm into Viv as her higher power, things don't. LOL Anyway, don't let what you heard scare you into giving up, and thinking to yourself "why try". You deserve better than that! Viv

08-18-2003, 06:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
KarenLynn Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Clarksville, Indiana Posts: 22	Thanks Paulie and Viv, It feels sooooooo good to read your reply's and know you care. As it turns out I got through this weekend just fine. (Weekends are the hardest for me) I just need to get into the habit of looking at each day 1 at a time and not 8 years or anything else. One day at a time I know I can do. Thank you so much for your support, it means everything.

08-18-2003, 08:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
KarenLynn Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Clarksville, Indiana Posts: 22	Dear Tammie, I'm rooting for you too. Your sobriety date is my daughters birthday! Congrats on your 3 month anniversary Friday. I've got 13 under my belt and today WILL be one more.

08-18-2003, 08:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
KarenLynn Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Clarksville, Indiana Posts: 22	Thank God we "woke-up" from the trance we were in before it was too late. It's kinda like being born again isn't it? Yes we can do this together. There is power in numbers. 30 days is a big deal - I hope you go out to eat or somthing to celebrate.

08-18-2003, 10:47 AM	#10 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	(((Karen))) Welcome to the message boards! I am so glad you are here with us. Arent all of these ladies just wonderful!! I love it here so much..we are not alone. __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

08-18-2003, 11:09 AM	#11 (permalink)
KarenLynn Paused Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Clarksville, Indiana Posts: 22	Dear Sky, Yes, I too love it here. It feels good to know that there are others out there (MY SISTERS) who knows how I feel and who cares about me. When one of us hurts - all of us hurts.

08-18-2003, 11:19 AM	#12 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	Karen Yes you are right..we identify with each other. And we are sisters in recovery iin spirit. __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

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