sad times but things need to change

[zoomer]

OMG, iv been through the mill. My poor 13 year old tried to kill herself because she thought she was going to fail summer school. Iv been waiting for her appointment with a shrink to get her help for cutting herself,but the appointment was at the end of this month. She is in a hospital for kids and has been there sence monday. She will get out on Friday. They put her on antidepressents. She had pills and blades up in her room and thank God my husband caught her sneaking the pills up there. The fear of thinking my daughter wanted to take her life and almost loosing her is the most horrible thing in the world. She is my baby. God after losing my mother and now this! Good things come of this though is now her real father is taking an interest in her even though he stopped paying support. My husband though is taking time off work,but I don't think he understands or realizes the importance of this. He needs to go get help himself! Ha, he yelled at me tonight because he is not getting enough sleep,so i took my girls out to walmart with me to get them CD players so he could get his beauty rest. We sat in a family session and my daughter told him off about how lazy he is and alls e had t say is tht he does this and does that and has to sleep on the couch. Well, hello he sleeps on the couch becaue we boh needed the sleep a long time ago and the girl got to sleep faster when they slept with me. Then the times I had them in there own beds,hesaid he could not sleep because he was not use to the bed. personally, he drinks too much and the alcohol messes with his sleep and he is also anal to where everything has to be in his order before he can fall alsleep. Like a dog having to go around in circles before he can lay down. When you have yung kids you catch sleep when you can. I take a nap at times when I need to when the baby takes a nap and i have the girls wath TV in my room. No big deal! iv been sick with the flu the past few days,so I needed my rest on top of what has been going on with my girl. So, at any rate it's all been a huge upset. Time to kick some butt with the hubby department and yes I kicked butt with the school for yellng at my daughter,so she passed summer school.

[Juls]

Zoomer,

Wow - I am at a loss for words as to what to say about your daughter. I hope she is able to get some help. I used to be a cutter when I was a teenager, and then one day I just stopped doing it. It didn't make sense anymore.

As for your husband, well I could say a few words, but nothing you probably haven't thought of already.

Keep on hanging in there girl, we need you around here.

Juls

[2stop]

Sending hugs and prayers for strength your way.

[Paulie]

Hey zoomer -

Remember your HP will not give you more than you can handle. You have been through alot in the time that I have known you and you will get through this too. 13 years old is a rough age, hormones are going and EVERYTHING is a big deal. I have a 13 yr old step daughter too.
Listen the counseling is a great thing, keep doing it with her. She knows you love her and that is huge.
and as for your hubby, well some great lady around here says - nothing changes if nothing changes. We cannot change anyone all we can do is change ourselves. That powerless thing again you know? Take care of you and your kids - he is going to do what ever he wants to do.
Love you zoomer!!!
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
And we are here, come and vent/scream whatever you need.

[Chy]

So sorry for your hurt and pain Zoom. Will be prayin for ya!

[CarolD]

(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers zinging your way

[SkyIsFalling42]

(((Zoomer)))
Yeah..what the other ladies said. I know what you are feeling..my youngest daughter did the same thing when she was almost raped. My heart goes out to all of you. There is a book called "Reviving Ophelia" that deals with young girls and suicide..it is a very good book. I read it when i had this problem with my daughter.
You will be in my thoughts and I am sending you hugs.

[myles1]

((((((((( Zoomer))))))))))) Hope things get better for you and your daughter!


Ngaire

[liveweyerd]

Zoomer,

I am sorry that you are going through all this, it is so much to deal with....all at once and at the worst timing.

Sending hugs!
live

[wishIsedNO]

I feel for you, Im going through somewhat what your going through with your husband..Except its my dad..He has taken up drinking and hes miserable to be around..For the years we were growing up it was like as if my mom was a single mother..He was never around always working or in the gym or gambling..And it wasnt like he complained much he enjoyed not being home..Even on his days off he always would find something to do..He even finally got a job on the weekends so he wouldnt be bored..He sed it was cause my mom spent too much money on the credit..but it was him spending too much money on the horses..
Now he says we abused him all those years cause my mom wasnt the type of women who waited on him hand and foot..She had to take care of me and my sister he didnt help..He drinks non stop..and then has hes tantrums like a two year old..He acts as if hes my brother not my dad...And it hurts my mom to see him treat me and my sister so badly..So I understand how you feel to see your husband do what he does and then see your daughter suffer from it too..Especially how severe it was...I believe you should support your daughter as much as possible..and by you standing up to your husband and showing u aint gonna deal with his behavior..teaches your daughters when they get older not to let a guy do this to them..and it also helps your daughter to feel heard..because she could of done this to show attention to the problems in the family..she just couldnt deal with all of it..when i was 12 i tried to suffacate myself..but i ended up passing out and then breathing again..but the fact is i just couldnt deal with the pressures of becoming a teen and then the feeling like i was invisible in my own family..its real hard in the first couple of years of teen hood..You have to really give your daughter support and get her into the best therapy that u can..and not only do u have to worry about this but also after she gets better with this and is a few years older you gotta watch with drug abuse cause when i grew out of killing myself and felt i just couldnt go through with it i started doing drugs cause if your too chicken to kill yourself the other best way to do it is do drugs..especially heroin..thats just like suicide but a slow real slow one..I dont wanna make you feel worse..Im sure you seem like a wonderful mother and im sure she will get better..and everything will go back to normal and she will grow into a beautiful young women..But you gotta deal with your husband for your daughter and other children..and most of all YOU..cause you are going through alot of stress and worry..and you need someone to lean..You know that these posts will always be here and so will i but u need someone real that u can hold at nite and tell u everything will be alright,.Now during this time promise u wont forget you..wish you the best and i will have your family in my prayers..Jackie

[Alongtimegone]

I am so sorry for all you are going through. I can really relate to it. I went through the same thing with my daughter when she was 15. The cutting on herself was just awful, and I was so afraid for her.
That was 8 years ago and she went to counseling and is better, though still prone to depression.
I asked her once, why she did that to herself and she told me it was because she had so much pain inside that she had kept to herself, it was a way to release it. Through counseling, she learned to be better in touch with, and express her feelings.
Sad to me how many of us spend so much time shutting off our feelings and trying not to have them.
I hope things get better for you soon.
I am sending good thoughts and hugs your way.

[Chy]

Zoomer,

Hoping and praying things are looking up for you!

[bubblze30]

WOW!!! you have a lot on your plate. you must always remind your daughter how much you love her and how you cant bare to lose her.. She needs to continue to hear these wqords and she needs as much support as possible I feel for you. My baby is eight and I dread those stress days when something might not be going well and how will she deal with it. I myself had suicide attempts and being an addict fear she may grow up to be like me..I will pray for you and your daughter. As for hubby just let him be he needs to work on him self..You have enough to deal with..I wish you the best and Hang on tight to your recovery... I do wish you the best... I hope things get etter soon....