Hmm..my own reality whack!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Paulie · 08-12-2003, 09:08 AM

Yesterday I realized that if I were my boss I would fire me because i don't do a good job.

That was a huge reality check for me, sounds stupid but it is the truth. I am self employed and I use that as an excuse to always be behind on my work.

When I told that to my SO when he got home from work, his response was so perfect..."I think you better write about it" LOL! and he was right.

I guess you could call it an AHA moment for me.
So what did I do about it? I filed, yes, I did the last 3 months worth of filing - yahoo!!!!!!!!!

I think I am going to give myself a performance review at the end of the month and see if I have improved any - LOL!

Seriously, big realtity check for me!

**Ann** · 08-12-2003, 02:15 PM

I gotta love ya Pauline. LOL

When I work for someone else, I am a workhorse and not only keep up but try to stay ahead of the game. I get raving performance reviews.

When I work for myself, I seem to lose some of my motivation and procrastinate and have trouble staying focused. The option of doing ANYTHING else is always appealing. That's why, when I had my accounting practice, I had an office 6 blocks from my home. I could easily have worked from home, but I needed to keep the two separate.

Now when I freelance, I commit to a time frame and that makes me stick with it.

I like your suggestions. When we move, if I work from home I will do exactly what you suggested. If I fire me, maybe we could work for each other LOL.

Hugs
Ann

Paulie · 08-12-2003, 02:24 PM

LOL - we could keep each other accoutable - LOL! or we could chat all day!!

Seriously, this may sound silly, but to realize that I would fire myself was a shock. I need to treat myself as an employee and my attitude would be different. As you said, I too always do the most for my employers!!

thanks

Juls · 08-12-2003, 02:50 PM

I understand what your saying Pauline. Like housework, I could get more motivated to do someones else's than my own. I could never figure that out. LOL

Juls

SkyIsFalling42 · 08-13-2003, 08:41 PM

Boy I know this reality check thing..i seem to have alot of that going on. Its kind of like trying to catch rain drops in a cup sometimes. While im catching over here..theyre dropping over there.
I would hire you Pauline..in a heartbeat..anyone as open minded and willing to listen to all things is an asset to any company..even her own. After all..the filing was still there wasnt it?
Oh im a work horse at work too..do the best I can and then at home..well it just seems so much harder?

For Paulie..the most valued emplyee award

JT · 08-14-2003, 06:37 AM

Pauline,

I am finding out that I am a procrastinator. But I will worry about it tomorrow....da dum dum!!

For real tho...Ward called me one the other day after I told him "later" and I agreed. Now THAT is recovered! And how can a man continue to complain at you when you agree with them.

Some of it also is an aversion to authority. The things I HAVE to do I put off in favor of the things I want to do. Now is that taking care of myself or procrastinating? I get resentful when I have no time for me because of all that I have to do...and I don't want to be resentful so am I using THAT as an excuse?

I do see an issue looming....and Pauline...it is your fault!

Hugs,
JT

Paulie · 08-14-2003, 08:57 AM

LMAO - JT I am laughing so hard right now I am crying and can't see the screen. Of course it is my fault - who else?? LMAO!!!!!!!

Just so you all know - right now if I was my boss - I would give me a RAISE!!!!!! For my sobriety bday gift to myself - I got completely caught up this week in my office - I even got caught up on my filing!!!
And the best part (please no one take offense to this) I got caught up on chasing people that owe us money!!!!!!!
That is huge for my little company!!!

I am a huge procrastantor - trying to work on that issue, one day at a time also.

Sky - thanks for the sweet words.

2stop · 08-14-2003, 09:53 AM

((((PAULIE))))~ You go girl!!!!!!

**Ann** · 08-14-2003, 09:57 AM

Well, Pauline, you're also a great motivator.

We are moving in about 6 weeks, and at first I was gung ho getting rid of a lot of junk and cleaning out closets and the basement, but I haven't done any of that for weeks now.

Today, I commit to myself that I will fill at least 5 more garbage bags with old stuff that I missed or hung on to the first time through, and I will pack my china cabinet, because I don't expect to be formally entertaining any time soon LOL.

This procratinator comes here for her motiviation, so thanks Pauline!!

Hugs
Ann

2stop · 08-14-2003, 10:00 AM

~Ann~ I am also moving in a month...and now you've motivated me to pack up some more stuff I don't need and get it outta heeya..You are great motivator Paulie!! What a great chain reaction we have goin!!!

2stop · 08-14-2003, 10:07 AM

Paulie..It's funny..every time I see your name -Paulie-I think of names like Vinny, Veto, Louie, and Al(too many mobster movies!) LOL..Iz a told em..hey you, my friend Paulie heeya has some collection bizness need taken a care of..ya know a whatta I meeen?? Would a be much a appreciated ya takea care o my friend..you knowa whatta meen? gratis!! LOL..don't mind me today, feeling like havin fun!!!~:p

Paulie · 08-14-2003, 11:29 AM

Motivator - me LOL! - that is funny. But whatever works ladies.

Tammie - that is funny - I never thought of that. We had HBO for a while and I loved watching the Sopranos - I know I know, but I did.

And RAISES for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JT · 08-15-2003, 06:45 AM

Ok quiet down girls....I am going to try to be serious. This is my problem.

When I make a priority of staying on top of things it makes me anxious. Anyone else? It's like that quest to be perfect and I can't achieve it...it REALLY causes me stress.

That "to do" list never ends...it switches gears from work to home but has anyone found the end?

Hugs,
JT

Paulie · 08-15-2003, 08:42 AM

Wait - you are actually supposed to finish the list???? how can you do that when you have to get up the next day and add more to it?

Seriously, I understand JT, I get anxious to and then I beat myself up cause I didn't finish it. and on and on and on.

So what is the answer?

**Ann** · 08-15-2003, 09:39 AM

I know, I know (she says waving her arm frantically in the air)

DUMP THE LIST!!!!!:lol

I beat myself up with "The List" all the time, JT. Often I have more than one "List" .

From now on, I am going to "list" only that which I really need to remember, and let the rest happen as it needs to.

Now keep in mind that I never did get my china cabinet packed - we had a blackout donchaknow.

But now I don't have to feel guilty.

I love how JT keeps us in line by making us be kind to ourselves.

Hugs
Ann

SkyIsFalling42 · 08-15-2003, 10:27 AM

JT
I can really relate!! When I make staying on top a priority..I end up doing a million and one MORE things that arent on the agenda. Even as far as doing for others. And then I become overwhelmed..humm now ya got me thinking. Must have to do with the all or nothing disease. Or that ugly old perfectionism germ. I need to think on this some. Thanks for the food for thought!

JT · 08-15-2003, 10:57 AM

Ann,

That is not keeping anyone in line...I just hate the overwelmed anxious way I can get...and believe me Ward doesn't like it either. Because when I am overwelmed you can bet the house on who's fault it is.

I have done some reading about organizing...and half the stuff they talk about I don't do at all. So to organize I would be adding to my list...

I have learned that if I do the basics daily...the rest does go easier. But it is easy to procrastinate the basics.

I guess if this is the worst thing bothering me I am very very blessed. So lowering my standards somewhat has been my only solution.

Hugs,
JT

Paulie · 08-15-2003, 11:31 AM

JT -

My fault, who else??!!

.

JT · 08-15-2003, 11:34 AM

LMAO!!!

08-12-2003, 09:08 AM	#1 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	Hmm..my own reality whack!! Yesterday I realized that if I were my boss I would fire me because i don't do a good job. That was a huge reality check for me, sounds stupid but it is the truth. I am self employed and I use that as an excuse to always be behind on my work. When I told that to my SO when he got home from work, his response was so perfect..."I think you better write about it" LOL! and he was right. I guess you could call it an AHA moment for me. So what did I do about it? I filed, yes, I did the last 3 months worth of filing - yahoo!!!!!!!!! I think I am going to give myself a performance review at the end of the month and see if I have improved any - LOL! Seriously, big realtity check for me! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-12-2003, 02:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	I gotta love ya Pauline. LOL When I work for someone else, I am a workhorse and not only keep up but try to stay ahead of the game. I get raving performance reviews. When I work for myself, I seem to lose some of my motivation and procrastinate and have trouble staying focused. The option of doing ANYTHING else is always appealing. That's why, when I had my accounting practice, I had an office 6 blocks from my home. I could easily have worked from home, but I needed to keep the two separate. Now when I freelance, I commit to a time frame and that makes me stick with it. I like your suggestions. When we move, if I work from home I will do exactly what you suggested. If I fire me, maybe we could work for each other LOL. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

08-12-2003, 02:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	LOL - we could keep each other accoutable - LOL! or we could chat all day!! Seriously, this may sound silly, but to realize that I would fire myself was a shock. I need to treat myself as an employee and my attitude would be different. As you said, I too always do the most for my employers!! thanks __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-12-2003, 02:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,101	I understand what your saying Pauline. Like housework, I could get more motivated to do someones else's than my own. I could never figure that out. LOL Juls __________________ Think World Peace

08-13-2003, 08:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	Boy I know this reality check thing..i seem to have alot of that going on. Its kind of like trying to catch rain drops in a cup sometimes. While im catching over here..theyre dropping over there. I would hire you Pauline..in a heartbeat..anyone as open minded and willing to listen to all things is an asset to any company..even her own. After all..the filing was still there wasnt it? Oh im a work horse at work too..do the best I can and then at home..well it just seems so much harder? For Paulie..the most valued emplyee award __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

08-14-2003, 06:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
JT Supply Manager Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cleaverville Posts: 2,913	Pauline, I am finding out that I am a procrastinator. But I will worry about it tomorrow....da dum dum!! For real tho...Ward called me one the other day after I told him "later" and I agreed. Now THAT is recovered! And how can a man continue to complain at you when you agree with them. Some of it also is an aversion to authority. The things I HAVE to do I put off in favor of the things I want to do. Now is that taking care of myself or procrastinating? I get resentful when I have no time for me because of all that I have to do...and I don't want to be resentful so am I using THAT as an excuse? I do see an issue looming....and Pauline...it is your fault! Hugs, JT __________________ The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind~Wayne Dyer

08-14-2003, 08:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	LMAO - JT I am laughing so hard right now I am crying and can't see the screen. Of course it is my fault - who else?? LMAO!!!!!!! Just so you all know - right now if I was my boss - I would give me a RAISE!!!!!! For my sobriety bday gift to myself - I got completely caught up this week in my office - I even got caught up on my filing!!! And the best part (please no one take offense to this) I got caught up on chasing people that owe us money!!!!!!! That is huge for my little company!!! I am a huge procrastantor - trying to work on that issue, one day at a time also. Sky - thanks for the sweet words. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-14-2003, 09:53 AM	#8 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	((((PAULIE))))~ You go girl!!!!!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-14-2003, 09:57 AM	#9 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	Well, Pauline, you're also a great motivator. We are moving in about 6 weeks, and at first I was gung ho getting rid of a lot of junk and cleaning out closets and the basement, but I haven't done any of that for weeks now. Today, I commit to myself that I will fill at least 5 more garbage bags with old stuff that I missed or hung on to the first time through, and I will pack my china cabinet, because I don't expect to be formally entertaining any time soon LOL. This procratinator comes here for her motiviation, so thanks Pauline!! Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

08-14-2003, 10:00 AM	#10 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	~Ann~ I am also moving in a month...and now you've motivated me to pack up some more stuff I don't need and get it outta heeya..You are great motivator Paulie!! What a great chain reaction we have goin!!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-14-2003, 10:07 AM	#11 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	Paulie..It's funny..every time I see your name -Paulie-I think of names like Vinny, Veto, Louie, and Al(too many mobster movies!) LOL..Iz a told em..hey you, my friend Paulie heeya has some collection bizness need taken a care of..ya know a whatta I meeen?? Would a be much a appreciated ya takea care o my friend..you knowa whatta meen? gratis!! LOL..don't mind me today, feeling like havin fun!!!~:p __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

08-14-2003, 11:29 AM	#12 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	Motivator - me LOL! - that is funny. But whatever works ladies. Tammie - that is funny - I never thought of that. We had HBO for a while and I loved watching the Sopranos - I know I know, but I did. And RAISES for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-15-2003, 06:45 AM	#13 (permalink)
JT Supply Manager Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cleaverville Posts: 2,913	Ok quiet down girls....I am going to try to be serious. This is my problem. When I make a priority of staying on top of things it makes me anxious. Anyone else? It's like that quest to be perfect and I can't achieve it...it REALLY causes me stress. That "to do" list never ends...it switches gears from work to home but has anyone found the end? Hugs, JT __________________ The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind~Wayne Dyer

08-15-2003, 08:42 AM	#14 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	Wait - you are actually supposed to finish the list???? how can you do that when you have to get up the next day and add more to it? Seriously, I understand JT, I get anxious to and then I beat myself up cause I didn't finish it. and on and on and on. So what is the answer? __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-15-2003, 09:39 AM	#15 (permalink)
Ann Sharing Our Light Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 15,028	I know, I know (she says waving her arm frantically in the air) DUMP THE LIST!!!!!:lol I beat myself up with "The List" all the time, JT. Often I have more than one "List" . From now on, I am going to "list" only that which I really need to remember, and let the rest happen as it needs to. Now keep in mind that I never did get my china cabinet packed - we had a blackout donchaknow. But now I don't have to feel guilty. I love how JT keeps us in line by making us be kind to ourselves. Hugs Ann __________________ Somewhere between the gator swamp and the Taj Mahal there is a path, it may be hidden, overgrown or may blend in with the other surroundings, but it is there, it's your path and it is calling you.~Frankly~

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08-15-2003, 10:27 AM	#16 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	JT I can really relate!! When I make staying on top a priority..I end up doing a million and one MORE things that arent on the agenda. Even as far as doing for others. And then I become overwhelmed..humm now ya got me thinking. Must have to do with the all or nothing disease. Or that ugly old perfectionism germ. I need to think on this some. Thanks for the food for thought! __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

08-15-2003, 10:57 AM	#17 (permalink)
JT Supply Manager Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cleaverville Posts: 2,913	Ann, That is not keeping anyone in line...I just hate the overwelmed anxious way I can get...and believe me Ward doesn't like it either. Because when I am overwelmed you can bet the house on who's fault it is. I have done some reading about organizing...and half the stuff they talk about I don't do at all. So to organize I would be adding to my list... I have learned that if I do the basics daily...the rest does go easier. But it is easy to procrastinate the basics. I guess if this is the worst thing bothering me I am very very blessed. So lowering my standards somewhat has been my only solution. Hugs, JT __________________ The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind~Wayne Dyer

08-15-2003, 11:31 AM	#18 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,518	JT - My fault, who else??!!. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

08-15-2003, 11:34 AM	#19 (permalink)
JT Supply Manager Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Cleaverville Posts: 2,913	LMAO!!! __________________ The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind~Wayne Dyer

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