One off Episodic week of Binge drinking whilst 26 weeks pregnant

[Sidney14]

:prayingHi, I screwed up tremendously when I was 26 weeks pregnant, I too have been struggling with keeping my episodic binges under wraps for the last few years. I was doing fine with the pregnancy no drink until the week, and I drank myself silly for the whole week, unfortunately or fortunately I ended up in hospital since a friend of my was really worried,.so I detoxed there and have not touched a drink since that week. I am 35 weeks pregnant now, and eventhough the hospital is giving me all the support in the world, it still does not seem enough...... in the sense I am scared of having done irrepable damage to my baby......... eventhough they say all is normal etc etc.....growth wise etc etc..... but some things do not show up until years later, I keep on punishing myself over what I have done and keep on reading stuff on FAS and so on and so forth but each website gives you different information opinions etc...... and it seems to be causing me more distress. I have 5 more weeks to go and eventhough I am looking forward to finishing this pregnancy but I am also scared of what I might have done to the baby and noone can give you any reassurance....

BY the way by miracle I came across this website...... have been looking for something like this for the last nine weeks without any success, on all the other websites they basically condemn you for having done and do not seem to understand ..... Just do not know how to feel anymore, if excited or happy about the baby (am I allowed to be happy??? after what I have done??? everyone says to forgive myself and to let go.....but do not know...

Can anyone help me with similar stories whilst pregnant and how everything and the baby worked out in the end.

[Anna]

Hi Sidney,

I am glad that you ended up in the hospital and had good medical treatment. Have you talked to your own dr about what happened?

I have read some information about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and I think what you are being told is true. You just need to wait and try to not stress yourself anymore. I think you are right that no one can give you any guarantees, but you've been told that things are normal, so try to relax.

I am glad you found us!

[Sidney14]

Do not really have to go to my own doctor, basically was told that they would take care of me there and there,,,, they have a maternity unitl and everything. So they basically have me seeing the Midwife, Drug and alcohol counsellor, their own psychiatrist, a social worker,. then outside I am seeing my own D&A psychologist specialising in relapse prevention and a private psychiatrist for my medication (I am back on antidepressants which I came off on when I found out I was pregant thought it would be safer for the baby yeah right and then I go and screw up)...... So so far so good have not relapsed or anything since that week, I guess all I am struggling with is the guilt and the usual stuff we have to go through.....I have good days and then I have bad days (not bad days just days where I feel discouraged,,,,

[TryingSoHard]

Hi there Sidney, and welcome to SR.

I do not have any personal experience with your situation, but I wanted to just say that you should REALLY try to not stress about it. I know it's hard to get the "what if"s out of your head, but you should just let it go. Stress while pregnant isn't good for you OR the baby and you need to focus on how to best take care of you both right now.

If the hospital is monitoring you and the baby and they say that they see no indication that anything is wrong, let's just go with that until you have reason not to. Ok?

Big hugs for you.

[Jomey]

Hi Sidney - I'm glad you found SR! I can't say I was ever exactly in your shoes, but this quote in your post really struck me....

Just do not know how to feel anymore, if excited or happy about the baby (am I allowed to be happy??? after what I have done??? everyone says to forgive myself and to let go.....but do not know...

YES!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO BE EXCITED & HAPPY THAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY!!!! Honestly, at this point, you have no reason to believe that anything is wrong with your baby....but even if it were...will guilt, negativity, and unhappiness undo the harm? ABSOLUTELY NOT. IMO, the best you can do for your baby is to give him or her a clean and sober mom from now on....none of us can change the past, but we can make the future very bright for us and our children if we choose sobriety.

No matter whether your child is born in perfect health or not, he or she deserves the sober mom that you have become! Either way this baby will need & love you, learn from you, mimic you, adore you....give baby the example you would want him or her to have -that sober is the best way to be!

We are here to encourage you all the way - we know you can do it! Keep posting!

Jomey

[Sidney14]

Thanks for you posts and all the encouragemnt. I am aware of my negative thoughts and the way they seem to creep up on me etc and I know that from experience time is the only healer, In any case the mornings for some reason seem to be the hardest throughout the day it gets better the feelings of anxiousness and so on I guess that is because I am busy at work.
I would still love to hear from people who have been or are in similar circumstances at the moment, there must be some people out there that are alcoholics pregnant and struggling at the moment...... Anyone

[SugarScars]

Hi, Sidney, the world is such a crazy place full of pain a lot, please don't beat yourself up any more. What's done is done. Now you can focus on NOT EVER doing it again - so that you don't have to worry like this, ever again. I would just PRAY to your higher power now, and leave everything in his/her/its hands. Are you going to meetings? Think about doing that. You should be able to locate meetings online. Meetings are an enormous help for when you're really craving that drink. Instead of using, call a Fellowship friend and hang out with them. You'll be glad that you did!

[Sidney14]

Hi Thanks for your advise. I have been surrounding myself with a lot of support. As mentioned before I would just prefer someone going through a similar situation i.e pregnant and struggling. I have been sober now for 10 weeks and only have four more weeks to go. It is not hard for me to stay sober once I put my mind to it and being back on the antidepressants has made a huge difference.
Thanks for all your support.

[Nallabelle]

Hi there! Listen to the doctors and nurses. They know what they are doing. Whats done is done and there is nothing you can do about it.
I am also pregnant and am battling a opiate addiction. I feel your pain. My only advice to you, is to nip this problem in the bud now. You must never under any circumstance drink alchohol again. Not now and not in 10 years. You obviously have a problem and if you are choosing to bring a life into this world you cant make it their problem too. The baby cannot suffer reporcussions from your addiction. Good luck

[Sidney14]

Originally Posted by Nallabelle

Hi there! Listen to the doctors and nurses. They know what they are doing. Whats done is done and there is nothing you can do about it.
I am also pregnant and am battling a opiate addiction. I feel your pain. My only advice to you, is to nip this problem in the bud now. You must never under any circumstance drink alchohol again. Not now and not in 10 years. You obviously have a problem and if you are choosing to bring a life into this world you cant make it their problem too. The baby cannot suffer reporcussions from your addiction. Good luck

I am totally aware of it and remind myself of what happened and what this disease can do to you if you do not stay in control of it. It scared the living daylights out of me, but I can't change it now. I have done all the self punishing ever since it happened and am now at a much better place mentally and emotionally am so much stronger. I have to admit though that I wish time would go buy faster but I have to remind myself to live in the today and love myself/

[HideorSeek]

Hi Sydney...well, since you asked...My oldest is 23 and before I knew I was pregnant (6 weeks or so), I drank quite a bit. When I found out I was pregnant, I absolutely panicked with worry over what damage I might have caused. Alcohol (from my limited understanding), is particularly dangerous in early pregnancy. I prayed, I read about FAS, I worried, I prayed some more for 9 long months, so I really understand your mental state. You can't undo what you did and now can't stop obsessing. I get that totally. My daughter was fine, but I understand your concern and there is nothing that any of us can say to alleviate it. I'm sorry, but you will just have to pray, and take good care of yourself from here on in.

There was a thread on this forum that dealt with the same issue. You might type key words in the search option. I think it was about 2 months ago...

I will say in closing, that my alcoholism progressed from that time and I did far more damage to both my daughters once outside the womb than inside. Would that I had addressed this issue then, when I had their whole childhoods ahead of them instead of making reparations now. Take this advice to heart: DO ABSOLUTELY EVERY THING YOU CAN NOW TO ARREST THIS DISEASE. The pain, shame, fear, pity, disgust and misery in my children's eyes is something I will never forget. I can only hope that, with time and my commitment to sobriety, they can and will forgive me.

[Sidney14]

Originally Posted by HideorSeek

Hi Sydney...well, since you asked...My oldest is 23 and before I knew I was pregnant (6 weeks or so), I drank quite a bit. When I found out I was pregnant, I absolutely panicked with worry over what damage I might have caused. Alcohol (from my limited understanding), is particularly dangerous in early pregnancy. I prayed, I read about FAS, I worried, I prayed some more for 9 long months, so I really understand your mental state. You can't undo what you did and now can't stop obsessing. I get that totally. My daughter was fine, but I understand your concern and there is nothing that any of us can say to alleviate it. I'm sorry, but you will just have to pray, and take good care of yourself from here on in.

There was a thread on this forum that dealt with the same issue. You might type key words in the search option. I think it was about 2 months ago...

I will say in closing, that my alcoholism progressed from that time and I did far more damage to both my daughters once outside the womb than inside.


Would that I had addressed this issue then, when I had their whole childhoods ahead of them instead of making reparations now. Take this advice to heart: DO ABSOLUTELY EVERY THING YOU CAN NOW TO ARREST THIS DISEASE. The pain, shame, fear, pity, disgust and misery in my children's eyes is something I will never forget. I can only hope that, with time and my commitment to sobriety, they can and will forgive me.

Thanks I really appreciate your honesty, I am working on it everyday and even when I do not feel up to it I still force myself to get up in the morning and trust the universe that all will be ok as long as I stay sober and do not pick up again. Nothing can even come close to the hell I went through when I picked up, the guilt, the shame, the anxiety, the fear, just general fear of living........ am now 37weeks so only 3 more weeks to go.....am close to being three months sober, the hospital has been taking extra care of me because of my episodes and eventhough I sometimes wish they had never found out and would not treat me in that special manner I guess I should be grateful. :ghug

[HideorSeek]

Hi again, Sidney (sorry I spelled it wrong the last time!),

I'm glad that you are feeling better and that you are strong in your commitment to yourself and your baby! Let us know, OK? Do you have any other children? If not, just a thought, a newborn is very demanding on your time, energy and emotional wellbeing and the stress can be very overwhelming ("geez, a drink would be just the thing..."). If everything is OK (which I pray it is), remember that you've been given a second chance to make life right for your child. Use it well, my friend.

[Sidney14]

Originally Posted by HideorSeek

Hi again, Sidney (sorry I spelled it wrong the last time!),

I'm glad that you are feeling better and that you are strong in your commitment to yourself and your baby! Let us know, OK? Do you have any other children? If not, just a thought, a newborn is very demanding on your time, energy and emotional wellbeing and the stress can be very overwhelming ("geez, a drink would be just the thing..."). If everything is OK (which I pray it is), remember that you've been given a second chance to make life right for your child. Use it well, my friend.

I am aware of that .......... but I have surrounded myself with lots of support and things..... I am a bit worried about having eight weeks of maternity leave since a trigger seems for me to having too much time on my hands, but I am aware of that so have put into place continuoing to see my relapse prevention psychologist weekly, my psychiatrist, going every Friday for two hours to a Mothers Group which specialises in people with depression......... and of course this online forum, and visiting friends for lunch and so on. I guess that is also another reason apart from the money part of it that work is so important for me, it is not always fun or easy but it gives me stability and a routine,,,,,, whereas staying at home is not really for me. I know that most likely a lot of mums might criticise me for that, but for me it is most important to stay safe.

[HideorSeek]

Good for you to recognize what you need and to plan for it! I just remember being so stressed and fearful that I didn't know what I was doing (which I didn't) and fear, for me, is my biggest trigger. I was chasing my tail (and exhausted) with a newborn and both lead me impetuously to the bottle for relief. But you seem to have a handle on what you can expect and what support you will need, so again, kudos to you!

[ImagineMe]

I'm not sure if my story is going to make you feel better or worse. I knew for certain that I had a drinking problem when I got pregnant and could not stop.
I only drank one glass of wine a night (and by the way, the midwives say this is fine if you can believe it) and that was it but the point is, I could not not drink that darn glass of wine.

I was so happy when I had morning sickness because I had three months where I did not crave any wine.

I now have two babies who are 13 months apart and both are very, very, smart. My 2 year old is reading if you can believe it (thanks to "Your Baby Can Read") and we are really enjoying them. They are healthy and happy.

So you and I differ. I never binged or anything like that but I still drank.

Some midwives will tell you that your body will filter the alcohol out of your body and protect the baby. I do think there is a limit to what your body will filter out and I feel lucky that my children are doing well.

[Sidney14]

Originally Posted by ImagineMe

I'm not sure if my story is going to make you feel better or worse. I knew for certain that I had a drinking problem when I got pregnant and could not stop.
I only drank one glass of wine a night (and by the way, the midwives say this is fine if you can believe it) and that was it but the point is, I could not not drink that darn glass of wine.

I was so happy when I had morning sickness because I had three months where I did not crave any wine.

I now have two babies who are 13 months apart and both are very, very, smart. My 2 year old is reading if you can believe it (thanks to "Your Baby Can Read") and we are really enjoying them. They are healthy and happy.

So you and I differ. I never binged or anything like that but I still drank.

Some midwives will tell you that your body will filter the alcohol out of your body and protect the baby. I do think there is a limit to what your body will filter out and I feel lucky that my children are doing well.

Hi Thanks for you message. I am not too sure whether this is helping me or not. So am not sure how much damage I have done during that whole week, when I was 26 weeks pregnant, in any case it seems like noone can tell you for sure ..... some drink heavily throughout pregnancy and their babies are fine, some abstain,.......... some binge I do not know and the internet provides you with different info that constantly contradicts everything else. I did not drink before that week nor after that week.... so noone can really tell me for sure..... just time and lots of faith and prayer. It does seem like I am the only one who totally lost it while pregnant.....