Someone validate me.....Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

vegibean · 11-19-2008, 04:55 PM

As I'm replying to the attorney's email in regards to the situation with the X......he calls, all chipper and happy and with a meager proposition for Thanksgiving. I totally stood up to him, told him I no longer have to suffer the consequences of his choices and that he needs to do the right thing. He wasn't very happy and now I feel guilty. This in regards (by the way to my son spending some of Thanksgiving with me after the X telling me he made plans already, sheesh!!!!!)

I shouldn't feel guilty. I asked this man for YEARS while we were married to find time for us as a family, to PLEASE find a way to spend the holidays with us and for that matter just family time in general.

Now I get this passive aggressive stuff from him "fine, I'll drop him (our son) off Wednesday and get him Sunday!" ME: "Don't you want to take him to your mom's for dinner?" HIM: "What's the point?" ME:"Well, since you just threw it out there that it's so important because this is the first Thanksgiving you have off............" What to do? Ends up the poor guy is working on Thanksgiving anyway.

He's not a horrible guy but I don't think his noggin has always been screwed on properly. Some of his ideas come from way out in left field and then when his mother gets involved??? Forget it, it's a nightmare!!!!!

I'm sitting here feeling guilty and I shouldn't. What's wrong with me??????

WLDKATZ · 11-19-2008, 05:31 PM

Stubborn1 · 11-19-2008, 07:20 PM

Ok so who's getting the poor child for Thanksgiving? lol

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA · 11-19-2008, 08:02 PM

I feel ya Vegi!!! My exH was invited to my sis's for Thanksgiving with us...never told me if he was going, and after today if I have a choice he won't be attending. He hung up on me TWICE when I called him at work and then explained to me later on that I owe him an apology for a discussion (rather heated)from the other day where he became belligerent and rude. I did say something that I shouldn't have.

I don't know why he stills pushes my buttons. Every time I react to him in an empathetic and caring way..(which I try to do and was doing before this heated discussion)it bites me in the butt shortly thereafter. Then of course I can't share with my partner because she turns into the "yea, ra ra he's an a-hole, he'll always be an a-hole and some day you'll see it" cheering section.

Shared parenting is hard.

Big hugs...thanks for letting me share your vent!

Karen

lizw · 11-19-2008, 08:29 PM

Hmmmm. All my partners have had overbearing mothers too.....

I won't post my entire real life response to those situations now except to say, 'these men need to grow a ......'

Harley3801 · 11-20-2008, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegibean

. .

I'm sitting here feeling guilty and I shouldn't. What's wrong with me??????

You're human?

.

vegibean · 11-20-2008, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stubborn1

Ok so who's getting the poor child for Thanksgiving? lol

I am!!! And I'm thrilled!!!

vegibean · 11-20-2008, 04:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I don't know why he stills pushes my buttons. Every time I react to him in an empathetic and caring way..(which I try to do and was doing before this heated discussion)it bites me in the butt shortly thereafter. Then of course I can't share with my partner because she turns into the "yea, ra ra he's an a-hole, he'll always be an a-hole and some day you'll see it" cheering section.

Shared parenting is hard.

Big hugs...thanks for letting me share your vent!

Karen

THANK YOU!!!!! But that's what I'm talking about and then I tell my sister, my GF's about how I feel bad and the same thing from them "DON'T YOU DARE feel bad Caitlin!!!!!!!" Thanks Karen.

indigo · 11-20-2008, 09:13 AM

Yeah that sucks.

11-19-2008, 04:55 PM	#1 (permalink)
vegibean Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SE and then South some more Posts: 1,872	Someone validate me.....Waaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!! As I'm replying to the attorney's email in regards to the situation with the X......he calls, all chipper and happy and with a meager proposition for Thanksgiving. I totally stood up to him, told him I no longer have to suffer the consequences of his choices and that he needs to do the right thing. He wasn't very happy and now I feel guilty. This in regards (by the way to my son spending some of Thanksgiving with me after the X telling me he made plans already, sheesh!!!!!) I shouldn't feel guilty. I asked this man for YEARS while we were married to find time for us as a family, to PLEASE find a way to spend the holidays with us and for that matter just family time in general. Now I get this passive aggressive stuff from him "fine, I'll drop him (our son) off Wednesday and get him Sunday!" ME: "Don't you want to take him to your mom's for dinner?" HIM: "What's the point?" ME:"Well, since you just threw it out there that it's so important because this is the first Thanksgiving you have off............" What to do? Ends up the poor guy is working on Thanksgiving anyway. He's not a horrible guy but I don't think his noggin has always been screwed on properly. Some of his ideas come from way out in left field and then when his mother gets involved??? Forget it, it's a nightmare!!!!! I'm sitting here feeling guilty and I shouldn't. What's wrong with me??????

11-19-2008, 05:31 PM	#2 (permalink)
WLDKATZ Hell on Wheels Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Flint MI Posts: 4,455	__________________ Good Better best never let it rest until you kick the dog shi! out of the looser!!!!!!!!!

11-19-2008, 08:02 PM	#4 (permalink)
NOMOMERLOTMAMMA No more merlot, more mamma Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Hills, Ct Posts: 2,131 Blog Entries: 36	I feel ya Vegi!!! My exH was invited to my sis's for Thanksgiving with us...never told me if he was going, and after today if I have a choice he won't be attending. He hung up on me TWICE when I called him at work and then explained to me later on that I owe him an apology for a discussion (rather heated)from the other day where he became belligerent and rude. I did say something that I shouldn't have. I don't know why he stills pushes my buttons. Every time I react to him in an empathetic and caring way..(which I try to do and was doing before this heated discussion)it bites me in the butt shortly thereafter. Then of course I can't share with my partner because she turns into the "yea, ra ra he's an a-hole, he'll always be an a-hole and some day you'll see it" cheering section. Shared parenting is hard. Big hugs...thanks for letting me share your vent! Karen __________________ But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. ~Vincent van Gogh

11-19-2008, 08:29 PM	#5 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,561	Hmmmm. All my partners have had overbearing mothers too..... I won't post my entire real life response to those situations now except to say, 'these men need to grow a ......' __________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

11-20-2008, 09:13 AM	#9 (permalink)
indigo Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,928	Yeah that sucks. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

11-19-2008, 07:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Stubborn1 Ph.D in insanity!! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Florida Posts: 698	Ok so who's getting the poor child for Thanksgiving? lol

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