whawhawha!!!!!!! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

bubblze30 · 07-25-2003, 05:27 PM

How do i go from having a great day to a day inthe dumps. My poor daughter hasen't got much friends but I told just a few it will be fun now she says forget mom none will come because i am the newq gurl. Ui feel so bad moving way out here away from my family. I can never go back there it has drugs evverywhere cant take that chance I feel so bad for her any advise??? Her party is in auguest 3

SkyIsFalling42 · 07-25-2003, 09:15 PM

I would try to include sometihng in the party that would really appeal to the others...I cant remember how old she is..is it 13?? Well Maybe somthing like "scary movies" (compromise of course) a midnight stroll uptown?? Dance contest...Scheme with your daughter..dont tell her exactly why your finding out..just tell her you want it to be fun for her..she should know what kinds of things are appealing to do at a B-day party.

bubblze30 · 07-26-2003, 06:36 AM

Y ou have a lot of insight could you maybe help me I am new to all this being signle now my ex payed for all the fun b-days you know I was thinking have the party here set it all yp have some cake listen to music the goto the pool??? Any suggetiongs would be helpful

SkyIsFalling42 · 07-26-2003, 06:55 AM

Well let me think about this a minute..once for my oldest daughters b-day we went on a midnight walk with flashlights..we played truth or dare in the dark woods (this is a very thin patch of woods and was a safe place). The girls loved this as they are usually at home in bed at this time, it was something special to them. We played search games I would put notes in the fridge..etc that would say look here or there and the next place would have another note, and another note until they found the prize!! Oh they liked that game!! We bobbed for apples once..I put a big tub in the middle of the kitchen floor on top of a sheet..believe it or not we had a blast!! We rented scary movies..we had to compromise on this!!
We never had alot of money either..but you know what?? my kids now that they are grown remember the fun things we did more than anything and those are the stories that are talked about the most.
Hey a cake and the pool sounds great!! I would be sure they were gonna be well supervised in the pool.
Now I am missing having little ones around!! I will have to pick on my daughter today...I think that if you remember that you were young once..and think about what you would like to do at that age..you will do fine!! Young girls love the music thing..if that is what you can call some of the new music!!
Wishing you lots of luck, hugs and I hope your daughter has a wonderful b-day with lots of friends!!

bubblze30 · 07-27-2003, 06:56 AM

They are all eight or oldrer the will be eight of them(i hope she can get eight friends together. Dont get mr wrong she has friends it is just alot of kids make fun of her lazy eye. She has an appointment on monday thank god. Anyway I just remember always having kids around me I dont want her to grow antisocial or something.. I haveing such of a misserable month I dont want hers to be.I also wished I had more kids but it would of been to much money i could not afford it I am still down about the hole thing. I too hope this depression and pity will leave me soon!!!!!!!!!

2stop · 07-27-2003, 08:26 AM

{{Bubblze}}- I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can elate to the situation with your kids. While I don't have to worry about hanging out with any using friends(my dad supplied ALOT of the drugs) It has been so hard to get out and find friends for my son and daughter being so agoraphobic, and the neighborhood we live in is so rough, there was a gang of kids threatening my kids yesterday-to beat them up, kill them, spitting on them..they've been doing it for a while, throwing rocks at the house, both had their bikes stolen this summer. the neighbor kid right next to us has climbed around his balcony and in through my bathroom window..Oh it just boils my blood that there aren't any decent kids to play my two. My kids go to church school and some of the parents think us a bit heathenish because I am not as religious freaky as they are, so they don't play with those kids very much..it breaks my heart especially for my daughter when she comes to me in tears because there are no friends to play with. I feel like it is my fault, but it will be okay I'll find a way to have my kids socioaslize and be safe. You will too hon, it's just so hard sometimes. Give your daughter a hug from me okay?

~~

bubblze30 · 07-28-2003, 07:48 AM

We
ve had anopther one of those days .sShe made me cry for like quite aloneg time well I meen I made me cry for like qutie a long time.I just an trying so hard fror her not to have a life like mine,but yet I want to be strong an nourturing in those time so she does not feel alone. I thank you for your posts and guess I just have to wait to august 3 and see the results..........

2stop · 07-28-2003, 07:56 AM

You're doing good Bubblze, I know it doesn't always feel like it~but you are hon. ((((((HUGS))))))

bubblze30 · 07-28-2003, 08:01 AM

THank you so much for your post I also wanted to say the women in your picture she stopped running is that a good thing I read a lot into the pictures and your was running for quite some time I hope she stopped to smell the roses as well as everything else god has to offer.

2stop · 07-28-2003, 08:06 AM

Girl I had to run myself out to exhaustion and get the craziness outta my head!

Oh how I miss running, I'll be healthy enough to soon, Running used to be the best stress reliever for me, but you better believe I DO stop and smell the roses!!!

Jazziah · 07-28-2003, 01:45 PM

I can't relate to what you are going through, but I can prey for you and your daughter. I know thing's seem awful

now but things will pick up ya know a year from now you guys will hopefuly laugh

at this sittuation. I'm hoping for the best for you. Let us know how thing's work out. I know that feeling about moving away. My Mom had to up route us when she was trying to become clean. I thank her for that now today even though at the time I hated her for it. Peace Much luv

bubblze30 · 07-28-2003, 06:21 PM

Hello lady friends its nice to say friends.. I have just got home from another six hours at the pool , I am getting so much exersize. I need it too. Recovery has not done any nice things to my waist. Little by slow as in recovery...I dream of the day I have my body back and get noticed again, I never had a problem getting a man you know now I barely get a peek at least I don't notice. I am so lonely.. Well goto get some zzzz's write more later

wakowife · 07-28-2003, 09:08 PM

i have to put my 2 cents in here. my daughter is 11 and she is not very outgoing either, she has friends but she never really goes out and that makes me crazy, i remember that at her age i was never home. when her 10th birthday came around she invited 10 girls and they all said they were coming, she wanted to have a craft party, i made plaster flowers, gathers all the esitinals to make flower pots, got foam letters and numbers, foam door knob signs and i figured that the girls would have a great time, i had spent about 100. just on craft stuff, my son is older so he said that him and his friends would dj the party, i ordered pizza and had all the usual junk food and icecream cake. get this only 4 of the girls showed up and one of them was my neice. i felt so terrible for her, after they left she went in her room and cried for an hour. my heart broke for her. this year i decided that i had to make up for last year, so we did midnight bowling, all 10 of her friends ( boys and girls) showed up and they had a great time. unfortunately we cant make the other children show up, but maybe if your friendly with there parents you could talk to them and find out ahead of time if everyone is going to show.
you could plan outside things for them to do, twister in the dark, i spy, pool parties are always great, and you could do it with a theme, like hawaiian, have hoola skirt and neck leys , they sell bowls that look like coconuts or pineapples, it's something different .

good luck and let us know how it goes

Bernadette

ButterflyChaser · 07-29-2003, 10:27 AM

Your daughter will be turning 8? Is that right? Or did I get lost somewhere? hahaha! How long has it been since you've moved??? Can you invite some of her old friends from ya'll's old neighborhood over?? Surprise her!!! (just a thought? I dunno?)
Here are some suggestions that come to the top of my head. How bout Horseback riding? Go to the movies,or take her out to eat, and then have the wait staff sing "Happy B-day" to her!! hehe! Does she act bummed out about her b-day??
What ever ya'll decide to do, I'm sure she'll have a great time!!!

bubblze30 · 07-30-2003, 05:02 AM

Hi ladies and thank you for all your help. I had a long talk with her and my mom is surpose to come up with her cousin ash and my sis and other family members now she is saying (I dont want anyone to come lets just make it for you and me because my b-day is aud 6th. But I want her to have her peers she has a hard time making friends. She has a lazy eye which I have a doc appt. set for She is very funny and outgoing but she just dont have many friends. as some of you I remember always being with my friends but I cant remember one b-day party I dont think I had one after I was seven..I just don't want to see her miss out like I did I have been thinnking all night I think we are going to turn this place upside down sunday woo hoo

07-25-2003, 05:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	whawhawha!!!!!!! How do i go from having a great day to a day inthe dumps. My poor daughter hasen't got much friends but I told just a few it will be fun now she says forget mom none will come because i am the newq gurl. Ui feel so bad moving way out here away from my family. I can never go back there it has drugs evverywhere cant take that chance I feel so bad for her any advise??? Her party is in auguest 3 __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-25-2003, 09:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	I would try to include sometihng in the party that would really appeal to the others...I cant remember how old she is..is it 13?? Well Maybe somthing like "scary movies" (compromise of course) a midnight stroll uptown?? Dance contest...Scheme with your daughter..dont tell her exactly why your finding out..just tell her you want it to be fun for her..she should know what kinds of things are appealing to do at a B-day party. __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

07-26-2003, 06:36 AM	#3 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	Y ou have a lot of insight could you maybe help me I am new to all this being signle now my ex payed for all the fun b-days you know I was thinking have the party here set it all yp have some cake listen to music the goto the pool??? Any suggetiongs would be helpful __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-26-2003, 06:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	Well let me think about this a minute..once for my oldest daughters b-day we went on a midnight walk with flashlights..we played truth or dare in the dark woods (this is a very thin patch of woods and was a safe place). The girls loved this as they are usually at home in bed at this time, it was something special to them. We played search games I would put notes in the fridge..etc that would say look here or there and the next place would have another note, and another note until they found the prize!! Oh they liked that game!! We bobbed for apples once..I put a big tub in the middle of the kitchen floor on top of a sheet..believe it or not we had a blast!! We rented scary movies..we had to compromise on this!! We never had alot of money either..but you know what?? my kids now that they are grown remember the fun things we did more than anything and those are the stories that are talked about the most. Hey a cake and the pool sounds great!! I would be sure they were gonna be well supervised in the pool. Now I am missing having little ones around!! I will have to pick on my daughter today...I think that if you remember that you were young once..and think about what you would like to do at that age..you will do fine!! Young girls love the music thing..if that is what you can call some of the new music!! Wishing you lots of luck, hugs and I hope your daughter has a wonderful b-day with lots of friends!! __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

07-27-2003, 06:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	They are all eight or oldrer the will be eight of them(i hope she can get eight friends together. Dont get mr wrong she has friends it is just alot of kids make fun of her lazy eye. She has an appointment on monday thank god. Anyway I just remember always having kids around me I dont want her to grow antisocial or something.. I haveing such of a misserable month I dont want hers to be.I also wished I had more kids but it would of been to much money i could not afford it I am still down about the hole thing. I too hope this depression and pity will leave me soon!!!!!!!!! __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-27-2003, 08:26 AM	#6 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	{{Bubblze}}- I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can elate to the situation with your kids. While I don't have to worry about hanging out with any using friends(my dad supplied ALOT of the drugs) It has been so hard to get out and find friends for my son and daughter being so agoraphobic, and the neighborhood we live in is so rough, there was a gang of kids threatening my kids yesterday-to beat them up, kill them, spitting on them..they've been doing it for a while, throwing rocks at the house, both had their bikes stolen this summer. the neighbor kid right next to us has climbed around his balcony and in through my bathroom window..Oh it just boils my blood that there aren't any decent kids to play my two. My kids go to church school and some of the parents think us a bit heathenish because I am not as religious freaky as they are, so they don't play with those kids very much..it breaks my heart especially for my daughter when she comes to me in tears because there are no friends to play with. I feel like it is my fault, but it will be okay I'll find a way to have my kids socioaslize and be safe. You will too hon, it's just so hard sometimes. Give your daughter a hug from me okay? ~~ __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

07-28-2003, 07:48 AM	#7 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	We ve had anopther one of those days .sShe made me cry for like quite aloneg time well I meen I made me cry for like qutie a long time.I just an trying so hard fror her not to have a life like mine,but yet I want to be strong an nourturing in those time so she does not feel alone. I thank you for your posts and guess I just have to wait to august 3 and see the results.......... __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-28-2003, 07:56 AM	#8 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	You're doing good Bubblze, I know it doesn't always feel like it~but you are hon. ((((((HUGS)))))) __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

07-28-2003, 08:01 AM	#9 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	THank you so much for your post I also wanted to say the women in your picture she stopped running is that a good thing I read a lot into the pictures and your was running for quite some time I hope she stopped to smell the roses as well as everything else god has to offer. __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-28-2003, 08:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	Girl I had to run myself out to exhaustion and get the craziness outta my head! Oh how I miss running, I'll be healthy enough to soon, Running used to be the best stress reliever for me, but you better believe I DO stop and smell the roses!!! __________________ Many Hugs and Hope too, Tammie "Think of all the beauty still left around you and BE HAPPY." ~Anne Frank~ "Things do not change, WE change." ~Henry David Thoreau~

07-28-2003, 01:45 PM	#11 (permalink)
Jazziah Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 22	Hey I can't relate to what you are going through, but I can prey for you and your daughter. I know thing's seem awful now but things will pick up ya know a year from now you guys will hopefuly laugh at this sittuation. I'm hoping for the best for you. Let us know how thing's work out. I know that feeling about moving away. My Mom had to up route us when she was trying to become clean. I thank her for that now today even though at the time I hated her for it. Peace Much luv

07-28-2003, 06:21 PM	#12 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	Hello lady friends its nice to say friends.. I have just got home from another six hours at the pool , I am getting so much exersize. I need it too. Recovery has not done any nice things to my waist. Little by slow as in recovery...I dream of the day I have my body back and get noticed again, I never had a problem getting a man you know now I barely get a peek at least I don't notice. I am so lonely.. Well goto get some zzzz's write more later __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

07-28-2003, 09:08 PM	#13 (permalink)
wakowife Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Ozone Park, New York Posts: 281	i have to put my 2 cents in here. my daughter is 11 and she is not very outgoing either, she has friends but she never really goes out and that makes me crazy, i remember that at her age i was never home. when her 10th birthday came around she invited 10 girls and they all said they were coming, she wanted to have a craft party, i made plaster flowers, gathers all the esitinals to make flower pots, got foam letters and numbers, foam door knob signs and i figured that the girls would have a great time, i had spent about 100. just on craft stuff, my son is older so he said that him and his friends would dj the party, i ordered pizza and had all the usual junk food and icecream cake. get this only 4 of the girls showed up and one of them was my neice. i felt so terrible for her, after they left she went in her room and cried for an hour. my heart broke for her. this year i decided that i had to make up for last year, so we did midnight bowling, all 10 of her friends ( boys and girls) showed up and they had a great time. unfortunately we cant make the other children show up, but maybe if your friendly with there parents you could talk to them and find out ahead of time if everyone is going to show. you could plan outside things for them to do, twister in the dark, i spy, pool parties are always great, and you could do it with a theme, like hawaiian, have hoola skirt and neck leys , they sell bowls that look like coconuts or pineapples, it's something different . good luck and let us know how it goes Bernadette

07-29-2003, 10:27 AM	#14 (permalink)
ButterflyChaser Meow! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow Posts: 1,023	Your daughter will be turning 8? Is that right? Or did I get lost somewhere? hahaha! How long has it been since you've moved??? Can you invite some of her old friends from ya'll's old neighborhood over?? Surprise her!!! (just a thought? I dunno?) Here are some suggestions that come to the top of my head. How bout Horseback riding? Go to the movies,or take her out to eat, and then have the wait staff sing "Happy B-day" to her!! hehe! Does she act bummed out about her b-day?? What ever ya'll decide to do, I'm sure she'll have a great time!!! __________________ "If a Child feels Safe, Wanted & Loved, You are a Successful Parent!" ~~"A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers!!~~

07-30-2003, 05:02 AM	#15 (permalink)
bubblze30 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: mass Posts: 1,360	party Hi ladies and thank you for all your help. I had a long talk with her and my mom is surpose to come up with her cousin ash and my sis and other family members now she is saying (I dont want anyone to come lets just make it for you and me because my b-day is aud 6th. But I want her to have her peers she has a hard time making friends. She has a lazy eye which I have a doc appt. set for She is very funny and outgoing but she just dont have many friends. as some of you I remember always being with my friends but I cant remember one b-day party I dont think I had one after I was seven..I just don't want to see her miss out like I did I have been thinnking all night I think we are going to turn this place upside down sunday woo hoo __________________ "What don't kill us. Will make us stronger"

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode