Lost ... - Page 2 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

**CarolD** · 10-07-2008, 07:59 PM

No, I have not used the Carr book

The book that convinced me to finally quit...
"Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham
has a sequel by Ketcham and ???
"Beyond The Influence"

Amazon usually has both

Good to see you again....

gneiss · 10-07-2008, 09:18 PM

This struck a chord with me. Why is it so hard to ask for help?! I really had good intentions, I was going to get an appointment with a counselor, but I haven't done it. Instead, last night I went out to a bar and drank myself stupid.. actually, drank until I can't remember last night.

It's embarrassing. I don't want people to know how much I'm drinking, and that's what made me realize my drinking is a problem. It started with just kicking back and having a beer after class. Now when I don't have a beer in my hand, I'm probably thinking about having one.

There's an AA meeting tomorrow, which I probably will find some reason to avoid. It's not even that I want to avoid it, I just have trouble going. I've survived some pretty rough stuff in my life and I really have trouble admitting that I can't get through anything on my own.

Heh. My dog looks at me accusingly when I walk in the door now. Or maybe that's my imagination. I swear she knows exactly what I've been up to. I can hide it fairly well from my housemates, but that dog seems to know all.

Couragetochange · 10-08-2008, 12:27 PM

Ah (((Scoobadoo))) it is tough in the beginning. I was also a drug user as well as a drinker and smoker, and I can remember being in such a black place that I couldn't even remember how it started or how I got there. Thought the only way out was to die. Sweetie I ended up in AA and started life again. Not a soul judged me but welcomed me instead. You will be welcomed with love and loved back to health, sobriety and sanity, you'll learn a way of life that gives you the tools to not ever have to pick up another drink. I can only encourage you to try, and if you don't like it, there are other ways too. I believe you're in the right place posting in this forum. I just signed up myself, this is my second go at sobriety, as well. Keep posting and let us know whats up with you and how we can help.

Carla

ScoobaDoo · 10-08-2008, 01:15 PM

Day 2
My new commitment to myself and SR is to post daily.

Here are some words from Joel Osteen I read today,

"I will take the time this week (this day) to examine my life carefully, identifying any negative patterns that have been part of my family's past (mine). I have decided that I will be the one to set a new standard; I will shake off negative mind-sets and begin living under the blessings of God (or a Higher power) rather than under the curse.

I thank all of you so much. The pain is not so unbearable with the support from all of you.

ScoobaDoo · 10-08-2008, 01:26 PM

Gneiss

Counseler is a good place to start, it's been almost a year for me, and has definately been helpful. Plus, she'll listen to me about anything!

My Dog knows what's up too. She used to come lay on top me when I would come home drunk, probably to make sure I kept breathing. But maybe you want someone to notice as well????

Scoobs on Day 2

Harley3801 · 10-08-2008, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScoobaDoo

Scoobs on Day 2

Whoo Hooo for Scoobs!

ScoobaDoo · 10-09-2008, 11:37 AM

Day 3

I feel crappy again today. Not that I want to drink crappy but an emotional train wreck ... chooo chooo.

Going to therapy.

"You can never change what you tolerate."

dancinggirl · 10-09-2008, 11:42 AM

Keep going, though, it'll pass! Expect to be an emotional train-wreck for the first while.

But also expect that it absolutely will get better and will even out. Just remember that nothing will get better, though, if you drink!

***indigo*** · 10-09-2008, 12:06 PM

Hi it's great to have you on board looks like a whole new begining for you, I wish you all the best and you have all our support. Please keep posting.

Clutch B · 10-09-2008, 12:14 PM

It's so hard in the beginning. Don't feel bad about "feeling crappy". This is the hardest part right now.

Like dancinggirl said -- things will get better as long as you don't drink!

ScoobaDoo · 10-10-2008, 12:38 PM

Day 4
Holding strong ... so far, but it's Friday, at least I don't feel crappy today!

Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I must go prepare!

dancinggirl · 10-10-2008, 01:04 PM

You've got a great attitude! Make yourself some plans for the weekend so you aren't caught unprepared, ok? Deciding to take that drink happens in a split second...deciding to NOT drink takes forethought and preparation. Keep yourself ahead of the game.

**51anna** · 10-10-2008, 03:00 PM

Hi Scoob,

Posting here daily is a good idea.

And, for me, planning really helped a lot. I drank alone, and so it was always a trigger for me if my husband was away, or even coming home later than usual. So, I would plan ahead and be out of the house, or on the phone, or watching a good movie - anything that would take my mind off things for a little bit.

I hope you have a good evening.

ScoobaDoo · 10-10-2008, 05:20 PM

Posting here daily is something that I look forward to, even if no one shows up anymore! But that's not the case, I'm amazed at the support I am getting.

I have to say this Night is NOT EASY. I thought it would be, but I can't stop thinking about having a glass of wine... I don't even know why, I don't really want it, or do I? I was so proud of myself these few days.

My head keeps telling me no, then ok just one, then no. The NO is winning, but this stinks that I even feel this way.

Arrggghhhh GETTING SOBER STINKS. But I hear it's worth it.

So I will go clean the bathroom, then call my Sober friend and watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch with the Dog.

(I can always throw my keys out in the yard, it's big and dark and I don't have a flashlight, so if I wanted the wine that bad I'd be out there for hours looking for them!)
At least I'm trying to keep some humor, my luck I would step in an Ant hill and grab a skunk's tail or something.

Clutch B · 10-10-2008, 05:46 PM

Sometimes when I want a drink, I imagine how I will feel when it's over. Because I know I can't stop at one drink -- so I'll get drunk. Then I'll wake up in the morning hungover. I might find out that I did or said something that hurt someone I love. And then I'll be ashamed again. I spent too much of my life feeling ashamed of my drinking. I don't want to start that cycle again.

You have a good idea to call a sober friend & watch that movie with your dog. Keep holding on -- these cravings will die down -- just stay sober tonight.

Let us know how it goes!

ScoobaDoo · 10-11-2008, 07:26 AM

Day 5
Ah - made it through the Night. Did exactly as I planned! But, sometimes just venting a little helps tremendously.

Today is going to be a beutiful day here, and I feel great.

ScoobaDoo · 10-12-2008, 09:48 AM

Day 6, not so good. Separate post, because it's a very long story. I have let myself and others down.

This really stinks .....

**51anna** · 10-12-2008, 09:56 AM

What's up Scoob?

I hope you feel better.

dancinggirl · 10-12-2008, 05:13 PM

WHat happened,hon?? Let us know! Are you posted in another thread now? Could you link me to it?

ScoobaDoo · 10-13-2008, 09:04 AM

I did not post, I drank this weekend. I just got up Saturday, it was a beautiful day, and I lost sight of everything I had been working for. My boyfirend game by and said he wanted me back. I'm so confused. I got in touch with my high school sweatheart last week who is available but in another State. I don't know what to do. I want to get back with my boyfriend so bad but I am still hurt. I know I need to focus on me right now. So after he left I went to my friends house and started drinking with them. What stinks the most is that I was doing SO well last week, I felt strong and that I was going to get through all this, then I KNEW I was going to drink and did NOTHING to stop it. I let myself down. I let others down.
So here I am again to start over.

ScoobaDoo · 10-13-2008, 04:44 PM

I have been on SR most of the day looking to feel better. I do but I'm so angry at myself. I have yet another reason to stop this insanity. I've thought about it all day and the one thing that I want more than anything (besides sobriety) is my relationship back. This is a second chance for me and I can't let drinking ruin it again. I can't let drinking ruin me anymore.

Clutch B · 10-13-2008, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScoobaDoo

I have been on SR most of the day looking to feel better. I do but I'm so angry at myself. I have yet another reason to stop this insanity. I've thought about it all day and the one thing that I want more than anything (besides sobriety) is my relationship back. This is a second chance for me and I can't let drinking ruin it again. I can't let drinking ruin me anymore.

I'm so sorry ... Did you ever make it out to an AA meeting (or another support group)? You mentioned earlier in the thread that you found a meeting schedule.

The reason I ask: Even when I was as desperate as you were, I couldn't stay sober without help from those people. I didn't want their help, but I needed it.

ScoobaDoo · 10-14-2008, 06:14 AM

I found one, I just didn't go.
I finally got some sleep last night and have decided to focus on today instead of beating myself up for the weekend. I am going to therapy today. I have the meeting schedule with me, now I just have to use it. I asked a friend of mine to go with me for the first time for support and she said yes. So we will try to get that done during lunch, if work permits.
Day 2 - feeling better but I can not lose sight of what I need to do. I thought about buying a bracelet. So every morning when I put it on and every night when I take it off it represents my sobriety for the day. If I get to feeling overwhelmed again I can look at it to remind me what I'm working towards. I don't know ....
One day at a time ...

ScoobaDoo · 10-15-2008, 03:05 PM

Day 3
Doing well. I was given a stone that say "sobriety" on it. I never imagined how a small token like that could make a difference to me.

**CarolD** · 10-15-2008, 10:19 PM

Glad you are trying again...

Why not plan to attend a meeting with your friend
this weekend? They certainly help me keep sober.

10-07-2008, 07:59 PM	#26 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,398	No, I have not used the Carr book The book that convinced me to finally quit... "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham has a sequel by Ketcham and ??? "Beyond The Influence" Amazon usually has both Good to see you again.... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

10-09-2008, 12:06 PM	#34 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Hi it's great to have you on board looks like a whole new begining for you, I wish you all the best and you have all our support. Please keep posting. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

10-10-2008, 03:00 PM	#38 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Hi Scoob, Posting here daily is a good idea. And, for me, planning really helped a lot. I drank alone, and so it was always a trigger for me if my husband was away, or even coming home later than usual. So, I would plan ahead and be out of the house, or on the phone, or watching a good movie - anything that would take my mind off things for a little bit. I hope you have a good evening. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

10-12-2008, 09:56 AM	#43 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	What's up Scoob? I hope you feel better. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

10-15-2008, 10:19 PM	#50 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,398	Glad you are trying again... Why not plan to attend a meeting with your friend this weekend? They certainly help me keep sober. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

10-07-2008, 09:18 PM	#27 (permalink)
gneiss It's pronounced "Nice" :) Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Somewhere out there... Posts: 89	This struck a chord with me. Why is it so hard to ask for help?! I really had good intentions, I was going to get an appointment with a counselor, but I haven't done it. Instead, last night I went out to a bar and drank myself stupid.. actually, drank until I can't remember last night. It's embarrassing. I don't want people to know how much I'm drinking, and that's what made me realize my drinking is a problem. It started with just kicking back and having a beer after class. Now when I don't have a beer in my hand, I'm probably thinking about having one. There's an AA meeting tomorrow, which I probably will find some reason to avoid. It's not even that I want to avoid it, I just have trouble going. I've survived some pretty rough stuff in my life and I really have trouble admitting that I can't get through anything on my own. Heh. My dog looks at me accusingly when I walk in the door now. Or maybe that's my imagination. I swear she knows exactly what I've been up to. I can hide it fairly well from my housemates, but that dog seems to know all.

10-08-2008, 12:27 PM	#28 (permalink)
Couragetochange Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Fairbanks Posts: 4	Ah (((Scoobadoo))) it is tough in the beginning. I was also a drug user as well as a drinker and smoker, and I can remember being in such a black place that I couldn't even remember how it started or how I got there. Thought the only way out was to die. Sweetie I ended up in AA and started life again. Not a soul judged me but welcomed me instead. You will be welcomed with love and loved back to health, sobriety and sanity, you'll learn a way of life that gives you the tools to not ever have to pick up another drink. I can only encourage you to try, and if you don't like it, there are other ways too. I believe you're in the right place posting in this forum. I just signed up myself, this is my second go at sobriety, as well. Keep posting and let us know whats up with you and how we can help. Carla

10-08-2008, 01:15 PM	#29 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 2 My new commitment to myself and SR is to post daily. Here are some words from Joel Osteen I read today, "I will take the time this week (this day) to examine my life carefully, identifying any negative patterns that have been part of my family's past (mine). I have decided that I will be the one to set a new standard; I will shake off negative mind-sets and begin living under the blessings of God (or a Higher power) rather than under the curse. I thank all of you so much. The pain is not so unbearable with the support from all of you.

10-08-2008, 01:26 PM	#30 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Gneiss Counseler is a good place to start, it's been almost a year for me, and has definately been helpful. Plus, she'll listen to me about anything! My Dog knows what's up too. She used to come lay on top me when I would come home drunk, probably to make sure I kept breathing. But maybe you want someone to notice as well???? Scoobs on Day 2

10-09-2008, 11:37 AM	#32 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 3 I feel crappy again today. Not that I want to drink crappy but an emotional train wreck ... chooo chooo. Going to therapy. "You can never change what you tolerate."

10-09-2008, 11:42 AM	#33 (permalink)
dancinggirl Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? :) Posts: 1,199	Keep going, though, it'll pass! Expect to be an emotional train-wreck for the first while. But also expect that it absolutely will get better and will even out. Just remember that nothing will get better, though, if you drink!

10-09-2008, 12:14 PM	#35 (permalink)
Clutch B Just another Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 185	It's so hard in the beginning. Don't feel bad about "feeling crappy". This is the hardest part right now. Like dancinggirl said -- things will get better as long as you don't drink!

10-10-2008, 12:38 PM	#36 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 4 Holding strong ... so far, but it's Friday, at least I don't feel crappy today! Failing to prepare is preparing to fail. I must go prepare!

10-10-2008, 01:04 PM	#37 (permalink)
dancinggirl Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? :) Posts: 1,199	You've got a great attitude! Make yourself some plans for the weekend so you aren't caught unprepared, ok? Deciding to take that drink happens in a split second...deciding to NOT drink takes forethought and preparation. Keep yourself ahead of the game.

10-10-2008, 05:20 PM	#39 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Posting here daily is something that I look forward to, even if no one shows up anymore! But that's not the case, I'm amazed at the support I am getting. I have to say this Night is NOT EASY. I thought it would be, but I can't stop thinking about having a glass of wine... I don't even know why, I don't really want it, or do I? I was so proud of myself these few days. My head keeps telling me no, then ok just one, then no. The NO is winning, but this stinks that I even feel this way. Arrggghhhh GETTING SOBER STINKS. But I hear it's worth it. So I will go clean the bathroom, then call my Sober friend and watch a movie and fall asleep on the couch with the Dog. (I can always throw my keys out in the yard, it's big and dark and I don't have a flashlight, so if I wanted the wine that bad I'd be out there for hours looking for them!) At least I'm trying to keep some humor, my luck I would step in an Ant hill and grab a skunk's tail or something.

10-10-2008, 05:46 PM	#40 (permalink)
Clutch B Just another Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 185	Sometimes when I want a drink, I imagine how I will feel when it's over. Because I know I can't stop at one drink -- so I'll get drunk. Then I'll wake up in the morning hungover. I might find out that I did or said something that hurt someone I love. And then I'll be ashamed again. I spent too much of my life feeling ashamed of my drinking. I don't want to start that cycle again. You have a good idea to call a sober friend & watch that movie with your dog. Keep holding on -- these cravings will die down -- just stay sober tonight. Let us know how it goes!

10-11-2008, 07:26 AM	#41 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 5 Ah - made it through the Night. Did exactly as I planned! But, sometimes just venting a little helps tremendously. Today is going to be a beutiful day here, and I feel great.

10-12-2008, 09:48 AM	#42 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 6, not so good. Separate post, because it's a very long story. I have let myself and others down. This really stinks .....

10-12-2008, 05:13 PM	#44 (permalink)
dancinggirl Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? :) Posts: 1,199	WHat happened,hon?? Let us know! Are you posted in another thread now? Could you link me to it?

10-13-2008, 09:04 AM	#45 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	I did not post, I drank this weekend. I just got up Saturday, it was a beautiful day, and I lost sight of everything I had been working for. My boyfirend game by and said he wanted me back. I'm so confused. I got in touch with my high school sweatheart last week who is available but in another State. I don't know what to do. I want to get back with my boyfriend so bad but I am still hurt. I know I need to focus on me right now. So after he left I went to my friends house and started drinking with them. What stinks the most is that I was doing SO well last week, I felt strong and that I was going to get through all this, then I KNEW I was going to drink and did NOTHING to stop it. I let myself down. I let others down. So here I am again to start over.

10-13-2008, 04:44 PM	#46 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	I have been on SR most of the day looking to feel better. I do but I'm so angry at myself. I have yet another reason to stop this insanity. I've thought about it all day and the one thing that I want more than anything (besides sobriety) is my relationship back. This is a second chance for me and I can't let drinking ruin it again. I can't let drinking ruin me anymore.

10-14-2008, 06:14 AM	#48 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	I found one, I just didn't go. I finally got some sleep last night and have decided to focus on today instead of beating myself up for the weekend. I am going to therapy today. I have the meeting schedule with me, now I just have to use it. I asked a friend of mine to go with me for the first time for support and she said yes. So we will try to get that done during lunch, if work permits. Day 2 - feeling better but I can not lose sight of what I need to do. I thought about buying a bracelet. So every morning when I put it on and every night when I take it off it represents my sobriety for the day. If I get to feeling overwhelmed again I can look at it to remind me what I'm working towards. I don't know .... One day at a time ...

10-15-2008, 03:05 PM	#49 (permalink)
ScoobaDoo Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: North Carolina Posts: 57	Day 3 Doing well. I was given a stone that say "sobriety" on it. I never imagined how a small token like that could make a difference to me.

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