Pauline and Tena

[zoomer]

Hi ya two! Sorry for the long time in not really writing,but boy have been busy. I think about you both ad I do try to get on and read if not reply. I'v been spring cleaning in the summer! Ha, I just could not stand the mess any longer, plus my 17 year old moved back in! I'm trying not to project and live one day at a time,so not to get my hopes up on a wonderful relationship with him. With my hubby, I tried soooooooo hard when I got back from my moms to make our relationship better,but I still have lots of resentments. I bought a used chair for the family room and spent three hours cleaning it. The only thing he did was bring it in the house after it was clean and actually sat in it the whole night watching TV! It's just a simble of our relationship! I guess what I want from him is to care about his house too and work on it instead of just takin me for grantit and just being lazy. Gosh, I did't want to complain,but ugh!!! Anyway, I'm a bit tired from busting my hump and the kids have had a bug,so Iv been up with them. It's good to feel productive,but I have to rest too so not to "get sick and overwhelmed again". I'm off all meds and have been for almost a month! I have more energy and I feel normal! I do have anger issues that I need to work on,but everyday I feel stronger and more sure about myself. Anyway, I do miss you guys and the jokes! Kiss, kiss and all that.........
Love Christie

[Paulie]

Christie -

It is great to hear from you, please know that you are still in my prayers and thoughts daily.

Spring cleaning...yuck - but I know, it sure feels good when it is done.

You know when I broke my shoulder last January and I was on the couch for a month! I learned something very interesting about me and my SO's relationship. We have very defined roles, we never sat down and talked about them, it just happened over time. It really is very interesting. Maybe it is the same with you and your hubby, roles get set up and defined and we don't really even know it. When we first moved in our home I had a little less than 2 years clean and I wanted to be June Cleaver...yeah right! But what I am saying is that I took over and did everything and he got used to it. So when I was laid up on the couch it really was not surprising for him to do the minimum, like only keep the dishes clean so he could eat off them LOL!

Last year I was on vacation for 3 weeks, came home....NOTHING done except dishes and his laundry, can you imagine. Was I made, OH YEAH, then after breaking my shoulder, I realized that I taught him how to treat me in this area. So between you and me, I have been slowing changing it and he doesn't even know it. Yeah I still do 90% of the house work because I am home and he is gone all day, but some things have changed and the little things help me out a lot.

Just thought I would share that with you.

Love you Christie and I am glad you are doing well and you 17 year old is back at home.

Ummm, how about those meetings? thought about going back yet.
I tried not to say anything, but I just had to LOL!

[zoomer]

GG Pauline, youare a card! LOL!!! Um i do have to thik about the roll play. Lazy is lazy no matter what! And a pig is a pig!!! Wel, i need to get my girls down for sleep so i can take them to camp to get a much needed break!
love ya.............

[Paulie]

Or lazy is lazy LMAO!!! just a thought!!!

love ya too!

[zoomer]

hey ya P, I think my hubby is going through male PMS or a change of sorts. He is (and I can tell) ashamed and resentful for not being as fast or quick thinking as I am. We have a sliding glass door with a sliding screen that has been disfuctional for years. My husband is like "it's broke and nothing I can do, we need to replace it,but I have to think how much it will cost(not bothering to go to the store and find out)... It took me 5 minutes to check it out and fix the problem and now it works fine. On my part (roll play) I'm a wife waiting for my husband to do the man's roll and fix things,so it was very dumb of me to wait all those years and feel helpess and depressed so he can fix things around the house. I'm truly on a roll (LOL to the pun) and going to fix more things that need to be done and not wait for him any more. He thinks I'm controling him because I tell him what needs to be done and how to do it. I personally would rather feel that I don't have to say anything and he would just do things on his own,then bossing him around. Iv let him have his own way and have had to live in conditions that I should not of nor my children. For example: Our furnas was mess up,so for a whole winter we all froze. I kept waiting for him to fix it of call someone, but he said (without checking it out) that we would have to replace it and it would cost too much. The following year I was complaining to a nieghbor,she gave me a name of a guy and he came and fixed it for $400 3xs less orso then my husband said it would cost. Anway, I do try not to rub things in,but I think he actually likes to live in a house that is run down because he grew up that way! "why waist money on the house when you can buy food. He is the smallest of his family at 250 or so pounds. Ha, now I'm being mean.........,but they all live like that! Kiss,kiss enough venting, I have to bring the girls to camp.
Love ya...

[Paulie]

Vent away....relationships are different, and as you said there is lazy! I hope you have a great day Christie.

Umm, hmmmm. ummmmm any word on meetings again. I know I know I am a b****, but you know me and you love me anyway LOL!!!

[zoomer]

Dear sweet Pauline mother hen, no, no meetings as of yet. I'm still not sure if I want to get back into it all again. My um life is more emotionally ballanced then it ever was in an imballalaced way. Gee wiz Pauline, just cuz I'm milling my life over does not mean you can't be a friend as in sharing life without the 12 steps. That sounded wierd,but what I mentis that even if I decide not to live in the 12 step program does not mean 'm still not me or can be a friend to you. Anyway,kiss kiss got to run...
Love zoomer

[Paulie]

I apologize, of course I know that we can still be friends even if you aren't working the 12 steps. Won't bring it up again.

I am glad that your life is more in balance, I am looking for balance in my life, I struggle with it everyday.

What matters to me Christie, is that you are sober, I don't care how you stay sober, I just want you to be sober, I believe that life is better for all of us sober, this is all.

kiss kiss back to you!

[zoomer]

Hey ya P, your a saint. Im too tired for words with running around an all. P you can say what ya want, that is what friends are for,but friendship does not start or end with 12 steps thats all. I think your wonderful because of you,not because your working a great program. It's something I admire about you,but its just a part of you,not all of you. Nothing would ever change a good friendship unless the friend intended to hurt the other friend. People are people no matterwhat they believe in. Kiss,kiss.........
Zoomer

[Paulie]

People are people no matterwhat they believe in

that is why I like you!!!!

[zoomer]

Good Morning P! Top of the day and all that! GG, Iv been eating nonstop and it's diet time again! actually it's not how much I eat,it's what Iv been eating! LOL,iv indulged in all my taste buds and what they have wanted this past month! My hubs and I actualy had a talk and he has been motivated to fix things around the house a little. It's a start...... Have a good day buddy!
Love Zoomer

[Paulie]

You too my friend and I hope you have a great weekend too!!!