daughter pulled a 180 on my ex yesterday

[lostnalone95]

well my daughter pulled a 180 on my ex husband yesterday......any other day she has been very happy to go with my ex-husband for a visit....out to dinner then a movie, or putt putt golf...or go carting....but today she calles me in tears saying that she doesn't want to go to visit with her dad and in fact she never wants to see him again. it is because she is angry at him for leaving us, for staying away for so long, and for getting married again.....her kids are not her brother and sisiters and she will never accept them as her siblings. she is genuealilly upset and has apparently been holding all of this inside for quite a while which is definately not healthy. and i don't know what to do besides tell my ex that she doesn't want to go with im and iwon't make her o. well i gurss tht is all for now...tal; to u all later.

rachel

[grateful2b]

well, the good news is that she is finally letting this out....and good for you for respecting her feelings and not forcing her to go..
she needs you right now to be in her corner and ready to help her get whatever support she needs and wants to process these emotions, no matter how your ex 'feels'
hugs and prayers for you and your daughter

[DSodaNow]

That sounds like a hard situation. I wonder how old your daughter is? I also agree that you should be in her corner, but I do not know about supporting her idea not to go see him anymore. Hard things happen in life and it is something with have to learn to get thru and not run from. Maybe you, your ex and her should sit down and have a conversation.

I hope your daughter feels better soon.

[lostnalone95]

my daughter is 14 years old and i feel old enough to make this decision. my ex and i have talked through ims and he feels the same. but he isn't changing his life plans just to score points with her she is going to have to accept his plans and work thru all the stuff that she is dealing with with her therapist and me.

[DSodaNow]

Fourteen is a tough age and probably old enough to decide whether or not she wants to go. It is good that she is seeing a therapist. I hope that you guys are able to work thru everything.

[Paulie]

Remember hormones....we went through this over the summer with my 14 year old step son, he was going through a growth/hormone change whatever......things are back to normal now. And with girls, it is probalby worse. I am glad she has a therapist, does she go alone or with you?

[lostnalone95]

she see's the therapist alone.

[indigo]

Good for you YAY

[Fluttering]

Hi lost

She is grieving the loss of what she wasfamiliar wtih..anger is part of that..I applaud your abiity to support her..
As she progeresses thru the grievingprocess she amy want to reconnect with him..But for today it is ok for her to be where she is.
To force her to go may just exaccerbatwe the anger..It is fantastic that she was able to recognize and share the felings... It is also just as important that she knows, regardless of the change, that her father still loves her & always will and wants what is best for her.

Your share reminded me of how many of us had those same feelings of not belonging, not feeling a part of, and feeling we didn't matter, and being told it was not ok to feel certain things...therefore we shut ouselves off and used many different things to change how we felt...Your ability to listen and acknowledge her feelings is part of the healing process.