Why is it..........

[j42daY]

that i miss the man and think about the man who was so abusive to me. Why do i feel jealous of the new girl he's with now? Why do I even care what happens to him? Why can't I get him out of my head? Why can't i see that he was just always in for himself took what he could and left when it wasn't going his way? how could he leave without even saying goodby to me and my kids? He's the man that told people he knew i was the one when i feel down a huge hill, but didn't spill any beer. He's the man who turned me on to the crack pipe and convinced we could stop any time. He's the man who talked me into leaving my husband because he was such a better shoice for me. He's the man who lived in my house, hardly worked, and took so much from me. He's the man who said he'd always be there for me and then left me after my 2nd day of rehab. He's the man i havel to stay away from to start my life over, to win back the respect of my family and children. My husband's back in the picture(we never divorced) he said he knew i had to learn on my own, but he's been so supportive and i feel guilty of even thinking of this jerk who stole 5 yrs of my life. I guess i shouldn't blame him, i was right there the cool "ole lady" that never bithched about parting, the one chick who could go the whole night drinking and smoking all night, who never knew when to say when. Well i'm saying when now!!!
Geez, guess i've been stressing a little more than i thought today.
Thanks for listening.

[Juls]

It's like an emotional addiction. In time you will get over it, but you need to work on you. When you find yourself obsessing over this man, do something else. Do good things for yourself, tell yourself that you are worth more, that you deserve more.

You have to build yourself up, because you've been torn down. You need to nurture yourself. Imagine in your mind holding yourself, telling yourself you love yourself, that you'll always be there for you, that you are a good person who deserves to be loved the right way.

Juls

[Paulie]

Ditto - to what Juls said.

If you don't already have one, start a journal. Every day write down 3 things that you like about yourself, big things or small things. Once I wrote 'I am good to my cat'. Sounds silly, but it will help you to feel better about yourself. It is your disease that is wanting you to miss him. Our disease wants us to feel bad, at least I know mine does. Mind would love for me to be with a man that abused me again, then it would be happy cause I would be miserable.

Go to a meeting, read recovery stuff. Go back and read your post, would you want your best friend to be with the guy that you described in your post? I doubt it.

It takes time, but it does get better....I promise.