I need to share Sisters!!!

[vegibean]

Especially after reading a couple of threads about people accidentally drinking, people bringing drugs/alcohol around them, etc.

I'm sure some of you have read a post or two about the girl I work with, I've suspected that she's using drugs. We have a new girl in the office that has absolutely confirmed it for me. Drug User (DU) has had a stuffed up nose for months that I've been there and New Girl's (NG) dad is a Dr. and told me yesterday at work that DU has been hounding her every day about getting her pills and coke. NG's boyfriend's father is DU's drug dealer.........Oh which by the way, DU is the one that got NG the job there, go figure right? Anyway, NG is over it, she was venting to me and THANK GOD!!!!!!! DU's last day is next Friday.

DU invited me to come to her house with everyone else last night "bring your son, you can stay the night if you need to" because she wanted to have everyone over for a get together before she leaves. I said "no thank you!" Before we left work they were all talking about what kind of alcohol they were getting and I'm so glad I didn't go. I DIDN'T NEED TO GO!!!!!

THEN........my X-husband comes over last night and brings in a bag of scrip meds he got. He's been suffering from kidney stones for years and so he's got pain meds as well as a benzo. I told HIM "please don't bring that stuff over here." He says to me "you don't do pills, I didn't bring any beer over, LOL!!!!" He knows I'm an alcoholic. I told him "Chris, it doesn't matter, bottom line is I'M AN ADDICT!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I just don't need that stuff around here, no less you bringing in the entire bottle."

Anyway, between both of those situations it's made me a mess last night, sleeping because of using dreams and this morning I woke up stressed over it because it was just TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!

My point in writing this as well as just getting it off my chest is that IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY to let other people know that I can't be around that stuff and it's also my responsibility to not go hanging around a bunch of people that are going to be drinking and using. Especially since I'm still so new in recovery. I have almost one year that I worked really hard for and I don't need to be around it. The whole thing has really bummed me out and I didn't even do anything wrong? Does anyone GET that?? Do any of you?

Thanks for letting me share............

[endzoner]

yah i think we all get that one . you stood your ground and were firm bout what's needed for YOU ! and that's a great thing...so what if they get mad your doing what needs to be done , proud of you! should be proud of yourself too ... peace n serenity to you

[Twin]

I know just how you feel! Two days ago, as I was standing outside my AA meeting, smoking one more cig before going into no-smoking meeting, an old drinking buddy of mine walked up. I stepped away to say hey. Hadn't seen him in a while. He asked what I was doing and I told him. He says, "AA's for quitters!!" I told him, "Yep, and I quit!" Then told him bye, and went back to my meeting. That night, he showed up at my house with a 12 pack, two beers in hand, and said he figured I needed one. What an a$$hole!!!! I'm thankful I turned it down, and told him I was heading to bed, and he had to leave.

Temptation is all around us. And it's up to US to stay strong and turn it down.

Exellent job Vegi!! As hard as it was, you have a reason to hold your head up, and look yourself in the mirror!

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

You did good Girl!

[WLDKATZ]

Proud of you Vegi......the pill thing scares me a bit though as does the dr thing..............any way to report that Dr???? any REAL SOLID proof???? as for your ex.....tell him to try a page from your book, get clean or dont come around....period, you children dont need that they need the positive showing that you are putting on!!!!
you go....keep strong!!!!!!!!


Love and Hugs,
Pamm and Fam

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by WLDKATZ

Proud of you Vegi......the pill thing scares me a bit though as does the dr thing..............any way to report that Dr???? any REAL SOLID proof???? as for your ex.....tell him to try a page from your book, get clean or dont come around....period, you children dont need that they need the positive showing that you are putting on!!!!
you go....keep strong!!!!!!!!


Love and Hugs,
Pamm and Fam

He's not the one with the problem, he's good he just doesn't know the "program" which is why I asked him to please not bring that stuff around me again.

As for the Dr., he's not giving any drugs to the girl, the new girls boyfriend's FATHER is the drug dealer, not the doctor.

Thanks Pamm!! I dig your encouragement.

[Toomutch]

Yesterday was quite a battle for you, but guess what, you kicked a$$.
Proud of you!

[WLDKATZ]

Sorry Vegi, was totally breaking my diet while reading ( A HUGE piece of chocolate cake with tons of icing........so sinful!)

but I am part of this club here....sounds like your gonna be a member soon too....lol




Pamm

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by WLDKATZ

Sorry Vegi, was totally breaking my diet while reading ( A HUGE piece of chocolate cake with tons of icing........so sinful!)

but I am part of this club here....sounds like your gonna be a member soon too....lol



Pamm

LOL!!!! I have to have my coffee and chocolate!!!! It's all I've got....... :

[WLDKATZ]

that was my breakfast of champions choclate cake and a pot of coffee..........lol

[lizw]

It's a bit of a reality check eh when we noticed everyone else is f**ken crazy too and it isn't/wasn't just us!

Sounds like you did great.

How local are you to meetings etc..?
Do you have a home group and all that?

I remember you've recently left treatment and had problems with your sponsor.... Did you sort them?

[serenityqueen]

vegi, first of all, congratulate yourself for the way you handled all of the situations. Your thread made me think back to my very first job when I had about four months in Recovery. It was just one of those what I like to call get well jobs. Nothing that I planned on keeping for very long, just something to get my feet wet back in the wonderful world of working. It was a minimum wage job with most of the other employees being in their early 20's along with a few women around my age. (I was 43 at the time.) I was one of the "sober cops," preaching to my younger co workers when they simply mentioned going out to the Clubs. I let these kids drive me crazy when they would talk about "partying." I was so irritated that I just walked out one day about a month after I started. So, there I was, a month before Christmas, flat broke. I learned then that I cannot expect people around me in a public place, such as work, to not talk about going out and partying. . . just because I wasn't because I was an alcoholic and addict, doesn't mean that they can't.

Now, another situation I had was completely different. About a month after I got clean & sober, one of my closest friends at the time and one of my biggest supporters of my stopping the abusing of the pills and alcohol stopped by. He knew I had put myself into intensive outpatient treatment and that I was very proud of being in Recovery. After we talked for a short time, I went into the kitchen to pour us each a glass of pop. When I came out, he had laid an oz. of cocaine out on my glass coffee table and was cutting lines out of it! OMG! I flipped out! I was screaming and yelling at him, asking him what the hell he was doing. I honestly don't think he thought he was doing anything wrong. . . he asked me what I was so mad about, "You never had a problem with coke." He just didn't get it. Needless to say, I threw him out of my apt. real quick.

Over the past three years, being cautious about where I went, who I was around and what kind of other people could show up just became almost like second nature, much the same as knowing what kind of appropriate clothes to wear in certain weather. But it is aggrevating when it seems like people won't or don't want to respect the fact that I no longer get high or drunk. I honestly think some people think that once I "showed myself" I could stop, then I could still have a few drinks or take a few pills. This is where the expression, One is too many and a thousand is never enough comes into play for us addicts and alcoholics.

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by lizw

It's a bit of a reality check eh when we noticed everyone else is f**ken crazy too and it isn't/wasn't just us!

Sounds like you did great.

How local are you to meetings etc..?
Do you have a home group and all that?

I remember you've recently left treatment and had problems with your sponsor.... Did you sort them?

I'm still trying to figure the meeting thing out. I'm going to the Triangle meeting this morning, "Gratitude", it's a great meeting. Not sure as for the home group yet as being in the TC we went to the meetings that they picked. I love the 5:30 meetings as I went to in the past there were all kinds of people and I really liked that.

As for the sponsor, I still call mine every day. I'm looking though. I really want to finish the steps. We got to step 8 about four months ago and then she started school on top of working so that was it. I want to finish them up with my one year right around the corner. Living across the street from the TC I would LOVE to be able to sponsor one of the girls there that are in need of one.

I'm working on it, thanks for asking.

Serenity~~~~Thank you too. Yeah, that was pretty much it with the X, he thinks just because I drank that I'm ok. I did the right thing and I'm sure he won't be bringing them back over anyway.

[serenityqueen]

So, how's the new apartment?

You mentioned wanting to sponsor one of the girls in the TC across the street. Even if you aren't officially someone's sponsor, it doesn't mean you can't be a great support person for them. You said you're going to some of the meetings there, I imagine you are a role model to some of them whether you realize it or not. I'm sure they see you as someone who "made it," you have what, close to a year in Recovery now, right? You have a job, you've gotten your own appt., . . . When you were in the TC, was there any women who completed treatment and would come back for meetings? I imagine if there was, you probably looked up to them yoursel!

You have a strong message of Recovery that you share and "just a year" is fantastic! Pat yourself on the back for all of the positive chaes you have ade over the past year.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for today,
Judy

[vegibean]

LOL, Judy, you are right. I keep looking to those that went before me as I'm sure the girls across the street may do with me. I don't think of myself that way. Thank you again!!!

I really like a great handful of you "regulars" here. I really like your input and being that I'm on my own here now it's nice to have you all to talk to you.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

[Fluttering]

You are dfoing great..Those healthy boundaries keepus safe

be proud of yourself and grateful that you have been given a daily repreive

Atta Girl!!

[kaniyah100]

Do I understand Absolutely!! I let this girl and her husband stay with me once because they were between houses and then another co worker needed a place to stay for a couple of weeks and so I had a house full of people, well three people, but in a two bedroom apartment it felt like more but they all knew that i am in recovery and come to find out the one couple had drugs in my house and i was furious!!!!!! I thought to myself "how could they" but i guess some people don't understand and may never understand. My ex will come by every once in a blue moon to ask about the kids and it aggrivates me because out of all people he should know not to bring alcohol to my house and he does and i have to ask him to take it out. Glad you brought that up thanks for sharing!!!!!

[Digginit]

YES! I have this one friend in particular. She stayed at my house a few weeks ago when she got kicked out of her other place and had no place to go. Well, she got drunk at my house and darn near burned the place down. I woke up at 2am with a house full of smoke. I learned two valuable lessons...don't let my friends who still use stay at my house EVER, and put batteries in the smoke detectors. There may be a 3rd lesson in here too: maybe I should start paying attention before the lessons get so dramatic...lol.

Good for you for telling him to go away. Good limits. Good boundaries.

dig

[2stop]

{{{{{{{{{vegibean}}}}}}}}}

As you continue in recovery your confidence and ability to deal with anything around you will get stronger. You are building recovery muscles and I know how weak they are in the beginning..........it gets better.

oh yeah...chocolate and coffee..................the staples of life for me too!!

{{{{{{{Warmest Hugs and HOpe too}}}}}}

You're doing great...............I tend to get overwhelmed pretty easy too..lots of going within and deep breathing helps me, meditations, every night when I get home from work I do some guided imagery or just meditate to soothing music........hang in there!