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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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07-17-2003, 06:50 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Paused  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Huntersville,NC
Posts: 26
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thank you , It is finally working... I am glad . I like it here. I hope I can find some peace, serentiy, and maybe some good advice from other good women.. I am living sober today 19 days to be exact... I have an alcoholic boyfriend I have lots of trouble with damm jealousy .. I guess he shoots my self esteem down.... He loves boobs big boobs and mine are not so he is always looking and that hurts.. he even went as far as to ask me if I would take a picture of one of my friends boobs and he said hunni I just want to look at them not touch them or suck them.. I felt very sad. He watches porn too much .. If im here and I am real Id like to think he would want me .....then of course there is the bottle he loves so much that he when he is home (he travels much for work) he sits and gets loaded till he passes out and never comes to bed till 5 am when he awakes in a chair......I am working hard at my sobriety..... I am working hard at feeling good about me and trusting him and **** its just way too much somedays... thanks for listening...
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07-17-2003, 07:07 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Big kitty nose hugs  Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World
Posts: 1,261
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Hey!! Welcome Toddzhunni! Congrats on your 19 days of new life!! I am so sorry that your relationship is making you so sad. I think that being the way I am..I would probably feel the same way that you do. But I think that some of it would come from my past hurts, too. If I fall asleep on the couch (sometimes I do) I dont want my man to think it is because of him..in reality it has nothing to do with him. Do you see what I mean? Sometimes it seems like when we grow as people, and with your sobriety you are, sometimes we kind of outgrow the people we thought we loved?? Being sober and aware of what is going on with you allows you to begin to see things the way they really are. Im sorry to say this, but my little bitty opinion is that your man has a problem or two. And I hate to hear that you are feeling this way. Why do we always end up turning other peoples problems back around on our selves somehow?? When it is not or problem or our fault. Girl, you are doing great...please keep your sobriety at all costs!! I do know that some days it gets very overwhelming, and we may feel like we just cant...but we do. There have been many days I have been on my knees to God for strength...and he always comes through when I ask. Hope that you keep posting, and you will be in my thoughts!
__________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~ |
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07-17-2003, 07:23 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Huntersville,NC
Posts: 26
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Thank you Sky... I know many people have said he has problems .. If he cannot appreciate me ... But ya know I love him and AA tells me not to make any drastic changes in my first year and since we have been together about a year , I am not ready.. But I am open to the fact that sometime during my sobriety I may find I am not wanting to be here anymore and I will go with it then. I do pray and use my higher power constantly... If I did not I could not get through anything .. Seems I am on my knees lots these days ,but thats a good thing. I am very much wanting sobriety and I dont want my crummy feelings to make me ..... I am glad to have found this site ... again ty..... |
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07-17-2003, 07:36 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA
Posts: 1,101
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Toddzhunni, Welcome to the Boards, and I'm really happy to hear about your 19 days. Unfortunately I can't be very empathetic about your relationship. If he doesn't appreciate you, and doesn't treat you right, then I say dump him. But you've probably already heard that more times than you care too. So my hope for you, is that he will get with the program, get clean, and become a good man for you. And in the meantime, my hope for you is that you are able to keep working on yourself and your recovery, because if you are able to do that, then the other things will start to fall into place. Juls |
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07-17-2003, 07:39 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World
Posts: 1,261
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I am glad you found us. There will be some other sisters in recovery making their way through here to say hi. I have heard that said quite a few times, not to make any drastic changes in your life for a year. It sounds like a really good idea to me. Again, welcome!
__________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~ |
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07-17-2003, 08:07 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Paused Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Huntersville,NC
Posts: 26
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thanks jules! I know that.... Its just hard .. I hope recovery for him. I pray that he does find it .. but noone can change him but him.... he has lots of health issues . high blood pressure , liver probs .. so it may kill him before he does something about it . I know thats sad to say.. I pray he gets well not for me but for him... thanks again for all the support here
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