Relape......

[dollhouse]

Hello there. Need some input please. Normaly as a safty net I never have drugs or ACHOL in my home. Makes sense right? My girlfriend of 21 years (not in program) was staying here for the last month. Anyways she decided she was going to have a little get together at my house. So this weekand she had her boyfriend over and she also brought some booze into my home. I did not say anything to her, I just let it go. She also gave it to my daughter. Who is only 18. Anyway my daughter poured a mud slide into a amber coloured glass. The next morning I got up, made some coffee. Also I put some French Vinallia in it. I noticed that there was no milk left. I seen the glass there and thought for sure it was milk.(really) So I used some for my coffee. About a quater of the glass I would say. When I was done the coffee. My daughter came in the room and said mom did you use this. Showed me the glass, and I told her yes why? She than told me it was booze and not milk. I really need to know if that is classed as a relaspe...God I hope not. worked really hard for my 60 days.....Thanx

[51anna]

That's up to you decide whatever you feel comfortable with.

I am so glad we never, ever have alcohol in the house. It makes life so much simpler.

[lizw]

You may want to check out the 12 step alcoholism thread. Guy on there drank a beer by mistake, thought it was non alcoholic one. But he's gone on to hit it hard though - so don't use this as an excuse to keep drinking, or to really give it a good bash.

I would say if you honestly didn't know then, it's not a relapse. At the same time, I'd probably go back to the no booze in my house at all rule, no matter who things I'm being a kill joy so the chance of it happening again is slim/or nil.

[daydream]

Ditto what lizw said. If you had not the slightest inkling that there could possibly be booze in that glass, then it was an accident, nothing more. However, seems to me if *I* had used a quarter of a glass of mudslide in a regular sized coffee cup, I think I would have tasted the difference. And I would have easily noticed the different appearance while pouring it. Only you know for sure.

[beingjenagain]

If you then went on to mix a picher of mudslides then i would say Yes! but if you ended there and moved on alcohol free i would say you are okay. To me a relapse is giving in to the disease not a physical mistake.
Just my 2cents!!

[Digginit]

Relapse is one of my areas...lol. Done it a few times. From what you're saying, I'd have to suggest that you be completely, brutally honest with yourself about what you thought was in your coffee. Maybe you are being honest, and it was a mistake. But realizing that with addiction, honesty's a problem, this is a time to make sure you're in check. I think that making sure you're completely honest is the bigger issue than whether there was alcohol in your drink.

~dig

[NoelleR]

Hey dollhouse ---

You've gotten some really good suggestions regarding whether what happened was a relapse on your part, and/or whether you need to change your sobriety/clean date or not......HOWEVER.....:

"...Normaly as a safty net I never have drugs or ACHOL in my home. Makes sense right? My girlfriend of 21 years (not in program) was staying here for the last month...going to have a little get together at my house...she also brought some booze into my home. I did not say anything to her, I just let it go..."

It seems to me that it might be time to go back to/reinstate your 'no booze' in your 'house rule'; after all it is your house, and therefore your rules. Now, you may be stuck with the title of queen 'B' of the house, or even perhaps the neighborhood (probably only for a while tho), but, as many say.....:

Alcoholics/addicts are ofter selfish, whether they are active or in recovery, but to me this is a good kind of 'selfish.' .....But jimho..... (o:

Here's to U....in your travels on the road of happy destiny.....


NoelleR

P.S. re: "... She also gave it to my daughter. Who is only 18..." --- I don't know what your 'house rules' regarding alcohol and your 18 y/o daughter are; you mentioned this in your post so I'm presuming that this is NOT a normal/approved occurrence. I would never have given any of my friend's children alcohol w/o their blessing (in fact I probably would have left it up to them to give the kids alcohol); just me, or how I was reared perhaps...? But, you may also want to bring this up to your friend.....mebbe.....?

[Paulie]

Ours minds are very powerful tricky things. I agree with what was said, the appearance, the taste?

Ask your HP what he/she thinks of this. And what does your sponsor say?

[wooforever]

I would be more pissed off that someone that I have known for 21 years would have booze in my house knowning you cannot drink. Then the friend giving your daughter booze. I would get rid of the friend and make sure your daughter knows not to ever dring booze in your house again.

You would not be wondering if you relapsed if it was not for the fact that you let booze in your house. I would not say you had a relapes but I would wonder why you did not clean the cup out. I would go to my AA meeting and talk about it with the group and see what they think.

I hope this was not you wanting to drink.

[Digginit]

Just thinking of you. Hope you're doing okay.

~dig

[vegibean]

My first thought was "why would you let her bring liquor in the house?" I was invited to go to a co-worker's house last night (son invited to tag along) and there was NO WAY I was going to this girls house. I knew for a fact there was going to be drugs and alcohol there and even though I didn't go, my head was there all night. Not because I wanted to use but just knowing that they all were, I don't know what I would have done if I had gone there and that in itself really bothered me. I'm an ADDICT!!!!!

My X husband came over last night, he's got kidney stones and he brought all his scrips in my house that he picked up from the pharmacy. IT WAS MY PART to tell him "please don't bring those around me." He told me, "you don't do pills", (I'm a full on alcoholic) and I told him "doesn't matter, I don't need those around me either."

***PLEASE*** know that I'm sharing what I went through last night between my co-worker and X-husband. I know I cannot have that stuff around me. It's a temptation at worse and if going to the store and just knowing there is a beer and wine isle makes me a little off I don't need people bringing it around me, nor do I need to put myself in the middle of it knowing it's going to be there, kwim??????

[AWdesign]

I would make sure I checked my motives on this one...if I was being completely honest with myself and I had no idea that there was alcohol in that glass I wouldn't call it a relapse...everyone makes mistakes...as long as we learn from them! Like everyone else said, don't use it as an excuse to continue drinking. Also...with 60 days clean I would be upset with my girlfriend for bringing alcohol into the house, that is newly sober and alcohol at that time should be as far away as possible!