having some difficulties being completely sober

[kevynne]

First of all, thanks to all for their advice about my drinking husband. I know that when he does bother me I need to just ignore him and if he wants to pick a fight in the middle of the night I am supossed to get up and go sleep on the couch. My therapist says that he will soon leave me alone and miss my attention but then begin to realize that he can only get positive attention through being clean and sober. Apparently he is acting out towards me because he's not getting the kind of attention he's used to and also because my being sober puts more pressure on him to clean up. I have to admit that I slipped up the past couple of nights and drank and smoked with him and I'll tell you, he was so happy to have him drinking buddy back. But I didn't completely punish myself the next day. I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and not beat myself up. It's really hard being the first one to try and get sober but hopefully I'm setting up a good model for him to follow. I have also been told to call 911 if he does get violent but hopefully that will only be as a last resort, so far he just threatens with sloppy words but nothiung else. I did find a new hobby, it has nothing to do with exercising but I have found that coloring in a coloring book while listening to my mp3 player seems to relax me. I even found a Care Bears one and I don't care if people I know think it's silly cause it seems to work. Still right now I am really fighting off the urge to have a drink.

[dancinggirl]

Wow...I really wish you weren't in such a tough home life!!!

I, too, have enjoyed colouring! lol When I was pregnant, nothing was more relaxing than colouring to me! In order to justify it, I framed some of my nicer works and decorated my son's room with them.

As for your home situation, I'm afraid my advice probably isn't what you're able to do. I just know that for me, that wouldn't be a home I'd be living in. Of course, I can't know all of your circumstances, but I just hope that you can focus on YOU and your sobriety, without having to also worry about encouraging someone else's sobriety and also having to dodge their wanting you to drink.

[indigo]

Keep on fightening it'll pay off. Keep on colouring too!.

[51anna]

You should do whatever works to help you relax and that includes coloring.

I'm glad your therapist is helping.

[misskara85]

Yay for Care Bears! Haha, love it.

Coloring has helped me in the past a LOT. After reading this I'm wondering why I ever stopped. Thanks for the reminder!

I also remember these paint by numbers landscape paintings I used to do when I was younger. They were more complex than something super-simple, and they ended up being beautiful in the end. I'll have to see if I can't track down some of those.

[beingjenagain]

I like to color too!! If it was so great when we are kids why did we ever stop!
Your hubby will either come around or he won't! Depressing news but the truth. Mine has gotten better but after 6months he still pisses me off when he drinks to excess but he says less and less about it when I voice my opinion. Which I am getting better at. I just don't care if he gets mad when i call him a loser for drinking to much and getting nothing done!

[focusontoday]

Stick with your recovery first. I too was my boyfriends drinking buddy and when I decided to get sober he didn't like it one bit. But I am happier in myself knowing Im doing the right thing by me. The good thing for me is we dont live in the same house anymore; but I remember what it was like & really understand what your going through. I don't have contact with my boyfriend much anymore, still in love but can't allow anything to stand in the way of my recovery. Although the last time I spoke to him he was in recovery, wow, I was happy for him.

I have a lovely fairy colour in book, thanks for the reminder.

"Stick with the Strength"

focusontoday

[endzoner]

coloring rocks . no kids around but you never know one may stop and visit ( unlikly ) but this way more pages for me , btw im not the brightest crayon in the box , but it sure is fun and it dont matter how young or old you are we all love to color ! its great theropy, makes you feel like a kid again and who dont like not being a kid again

[vegibean]

kevy it sounds like you're doing great to me. I know it has to be hard to get sober with someone else, especially your husband. Have you guys gone to meetings together? I'm sure you've probably mentioned it some where, but I've missed it.

I think that fact that you keep trying and keep going is awesome. Congrats to that!!!!

[lostbutterfly]

I thought I was the only grown-up who liked to colour!! I haven't done it for ages because I thought I was silly, but next time I'm going up the wall trying to stay clean, that's what I shall do!

Thanks for reminding me of it!

[ColdSweat]

Originally Posted by kevynne

First of all, thanks to all for their advice about my drinking husband. I know that when he does bother me I need to just ignore him and if he wants to pick a fight in the middle of the night I am supossed to get up and go sleep on the couch. My therapist says that he will soon leave me alone and miss my attention but then begin to realize that he can only get positive attention through being clean and sober. Apparently he is acting out towards me because he's not getting the kind of attention he's used to and also because my being sober puts more pressure on him to clean up. I have to admit that I slipped up the past couple of nights and drank and smoked with him and I'll tell you, he was so happy to have him drinking buddy back. But I didn't completely punish myself the next day. I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and not beat myself up. It's really hard being the first one to try and get sober but hopefully I'm setting up a good model for him to follow. I have also been told to call 911 if he does get violent but hopefully that will only be as a last resort, so far he just threatens with sloppy words but nothiung else. I did find a new hobby, it has nothing to do with exercising but I have found that coloring in a coloring book while listening to my mp3 player seems to relax me. I even found a Care Bears one and I don't care if people I know think it's silly cause it seems to work. Still right now I am really fighting off the urge to have a drink.

I TOOK UP COLOURING, TOO! LOL! It's really fun though, isn't it? Haha. People laughed at me, but I don't care, it's relaxing.

And power to you girl, for everything. Your efforts are inspiring & your insight astounding . Love and support<3

[kj3880]

I even took coloring up a level and bought a book with geometric designs in it and a fancy set of every-color pencils. fun fun fun!
KJ

[Itsmytime]

I can relate to what you are going through in that my DH will be losing his drinking buddy again, I quit before for 5 years and been drinking the past two - started with his encouragement, moderately at first then before I knew it was back at it full force. I know he likes it when I am drinking also. I don't want to drink just because he does and wonder if our marriage can handle it this time. He says he is ready to cut down, so hopefully we will make it.

BTW, LOVE to colour also. Bought myself one of the doodle packs with the markers, very relaxing.