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Alcohol Addiction 12 Steps
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08-19-2008, 11:20 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md
Posts: 1,398
| Something Cute that happened
Hi ladies. I've been going to a lot more meetings lately, which is helping me with my depression so much. Something happened at a meeting this weekend that really picked up my spirits. I've sometimes noticed this Really Cute Guy at meetings in my area, but we never talked. He always has a nice warm, not-creepy smile just for me though. I liked the way he hung around only with the guys and I noticed he was consistently at meetings and seemed to be seriously always writing something and consulting his NA books while waiting for meetings to start (stepwork, maybe?). Anyway, this weekend, Cute Guy picked up his one year chip. Yay for him! After the meeting, he came up and started talking to me, then, when I told him I had to go, walked me over to my car, and said "Well, I've got a year now, so I'm allowed to ask you out! I've been waiting for the day. What do you say? Want to come out and hear my band?" I had to tell him that I don't have a year yet...ouch. I really wanted to go hear him. I'm a sucker for talent. He was sweet, told me "Well, I've learned that if it's meant to be, it'll happen when you are ready to date. Let me know when it is OK to ask you again." I hope he is still single when I have a year! It was really nice to be treated with such respect, like I was worth waiting for. And I admire that he waited 'til he had his year to start trying to date. I guess we'll just have to see, I have a long time to wait, but it was so nice to be asked. Sigh....I know I can't even hang out with him just yet, 'cause "just friends" would never work with Cute Guy. He's too cute. Wow. Maybe I'm not as depressed as I thought. I feel all tingly....not a bad feeling! KJ |
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08-19-2008, 11:48 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Life the gift of recovery!  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 4,899
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Sounds like he may be well worth the wait not only cute but intelligent and considerate as well. Way to go.
__________________ NOTE: All Big Book quotes are from the First Edition of the Big Book History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be lived again. - Maya Angelou |
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08-20-2008, 06:03 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 11,160
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Sounds very promising!
__________________ Anna  "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou |
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08-20-2008, 07:22 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Eh? :)
Posts: 1,199
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Oh wow!! How fun!!! Isn't the beginning the most fun part anyways? Where you can look forward to just seeing that other person across the room? Sharing a secret smile? You get to enjoy that still before dating!!! Awwww...I'm so excited for you! I LOVE that smiley-side-glances stage....it should always stay that sweet!  |
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08-20-2008, 09:45 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,497
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KJ - Cute guy sounds like a sweetie. It'll be nice to have something to look forward to in the future. I'm happy for you. Crushes are fun.
__________________ "When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."  |
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08-20-2008, 09:55 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md
Posts: 1,398
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Thanks for all your comments. It IS fun to be flirt when you know it has to stay at flirting for now. There is a big NA beach party event in my area this weekend which I am going to. He said he would see me there, so at least I will wear a cute sarong and flirt a little bit. My NA sisters will be there and you can be sure that they will NOT allow me to sit with him or spend a lot of time talking to him. I'll probably be allowed one or two brief conversations. That's for the best. These types of limits keep things that I'm not ready for from happening. And I think it makes a guy a better person to wait, makes him appreciate a gal more. Hey Chiy, guess what else? J, my ex that you're talking about as only coming around when he wants something, did just as we all predicted. One evening of fun, then waited a week to call me back. Exactly one week. So calculated and predictable. But my self-esteem is a little better this week, so I didn't pick up the phone. I didn't even return his call at all. He can just....well he can be alone, that's what he can do. I'm happier just flirting and behaving myself than acting out on my low self-esteem. KJ |
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08-20-2008, 09:56 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,369
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Sounds like a great guy. And he might have respect for you also for waiting. Most of my friends have been men. And I have heard over and over that they respect women that wait.
__________________ Just Maybe... It is true that we do not know what we have until we lose it, But it is also true we do not know what we have been missing until it Arrives. |
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08-20-2008, 10:05 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Fort Wayne IN
Posts: 227
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That is great! Isnt recovery awsome. The best is that you are strong enough today to not jump at the chance to "date". It will happen when you are ready. Are you strong enough to go hear his band without falling all in? Maybe just friends today could have a better beginning for later. Just keep your head about you. Congratulations on your progress. LOL |
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08-20-2008, 01:27 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md
Posts: 1,398
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Ananda, Love does suck, you're right. I'm still there with you at this point, Sister. But...flirting rocks...as long as I keep it at that. Don't have to deal with the reality of who the person is, what our needs are, compatibility, sex, none of that. Just battin' the old eyes and dreaming. Deezal, Nope, not yet. Can't go hear his band yet, darn it. Maybe in a few months when I have better self esteem and more time has passed since my last misguided meeting with my ex. I'd ask my temporary sponsor what she thinks, but I already know the answer is, "I'm not going to cosign this." She always says that when I want to do something dumb like date. Heck, she "suggests strongly" not to talk on the phone to men in the recovery community yet. So strongly that I don't have any of their numbers (she replaced one with some women's numbers when one was given to me. hehe). She's right though. I'm still an idiot about men. It's funny to watch her keep me honest, especially since she is younger than my kid. I'm beaten down enough to know I need her help right now, thank God. How does she know everything I think of doing wrong before I even do it??? Jeez, it's like she did all this stuff herself before or something....maybe she's psychic??? KJ |
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08-20-2008, 09:19 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| My Heart Is With The Ocean  | Quote:
Have fun at the beach party. And I see nothing wrog with some innocent flirting.
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08-21-2008, 11:56 AM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Seriously Fun!  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: California coast
Posts: 418
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That is a cute story...now exactly HOW LONG do WE have to wait for you to accept going out with him? (how much longer till you are at a year?) Sigh....
__________________ Sober since May 10, 2008  |
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08-22-2008, 04:36 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Day One's Can RIP!!!  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Far & Wide
Posts: 241
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. Good for you that you stuck with your resolve not to date for a year. You put your sobriety before anything else and that takes a lot of strength!  Sounds like he deserves a lot of respect too . . . he didn't pressure you and he put the ball in your court. He does sound very nice. Sobriety ain't so bad!
__________________ Harley When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "Happy." They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life. |
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