Is it wrong to be embarrassed? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

chickenlady · 08-05-2008, 10:59 AM

I feel ashamed, embarrassed and worth little to be labelled as an alcoholic. Why can't I be just "me?" I have encountered recovering alcoholics (10 years and more) who say they're proud to say their an alcoholic. I'm not proud. I wished to he11 I wasn't one. I'm angry. I'm embarrassed, I feel like hiding out from the world. Why can't I just be me and feel good about beating the god awful disease? Am I alone in these feelings???

scoob · 08-05-2008, 11:04 AM

I think it will come in time. I'm at that embarrassed stage right now too. It's really raw right now. I think once I process and purge all the bad memories and feelings it will be easier to say yes I was in a really bad place, but i'm not there anymore. We have no journey yet to be proud of, just the bad memories that lead us to start.

**nandm** · 08-05-2008, 12:01 PM

I think your feelings are normal. At least that was my experience in early sobriety. Today though I find that I am neither proud nor ashamed of being an alcoholic. It is just a part of who I am, just as I can not change my height, I can not change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It just is what it is. I don't go around advertising the fact that I am an alcoholic but am not ashamed when the opportunity arises to share it. If it were not for my alcoholism I would not be who I am today. I do not regret my disease. Today I am able to help others find a solution to their alcoholism because of my disease. That is nothing to regret or be ashamed of.

Give it some time, don't be too hard on yourself and hopefully you will find peace with who you are.

lizw · 08-05-2008, 02:33 PM

It is all part of the process. I hated people who said they were proud to be an alcoholic too.

I've been sober 10 years and nearly 2 years ago I got diagnosed with MS and coming to accept that has really reminded me of early recovery. For me it's sort of been proof alcoholism is a disease, just like MS is.

Hope that makes sense.

TTOSBT · 08-05-2008, 02:40 PM

I am exactly where nandm is. I do not go around advertising it. But I do not hide it or lie about it either. I am not "proud" of being an alcoholic but I do accept it.
And yes, you can feel proud that you are fighting this disease (cause no one of us has "beat" it) and you do not have to share it with anyone that you do not want to.
I don't share my story often and I only share the fact that I am an alcoholic in recovery with people I trust.

Digginit · 08-05-2008, 04:50 PM

I don't think there's anything about being an addict to be proud of. But there is something about being clean and sober to be proud of if you're an addict. But however you feel, it's not wrong. It's just how you feel. Just don't drink or pick up today.

~dig

Lily · 08-05-2008, 06:03 PM

I am not proud to be an addict, but I am glad I found recovery! Even when I had years clean I wasn't proud. I don't lie about it though either.

kj3880 · 08-05-2008, 07:00 PM

I'm proud to be a recovering addict! And I think that I've met more people in recovery who are spiritual and wonderful than the "normies" that have been in my life. No shame in my game!
KJ

Toomutch · 08-05-2008, 07:17 PM

I had a hard time in early recovery with the shame involved in calling myself and excepting the fact that I was an alcoholic. With time it has changed, I have a disease called alcoholism. I am no more ashamed of that than I am saying that I have fibromyalgia and mental illness. I choose not to be ashamed because this is who I am.

BTW Chickenlady - we are goin g to have to play rock-paper-scissors for the avatar. lol

Eclipse · 08-06-2008, 03:48 PM

I am horribly embarrassed that I have a drinking problem...see I can't even say I'm an alcoholic. For most people who know me, they would be absolutely blown away if I were to tell them. There are a few around me who have seen me in a bad way, but most have no clue and think I am a great mom who helps out and school and with the kids sports, etc. And say wow, how do you do it all....well let me tell you what happens when I get home at night....that's how I handle it. Not good and not doin' it anymore!!!

Digginit · 08-06-2008, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eclipse

I am horribly embarrassed that I have a drinking problem...see I can't even say I'm an alcoholic. For most people who know me, they would be absolutely blown away if I were to tell them. There are a few around me who have seen me in a bad way, but most have no clue and think I am a great mom who helps out and school and with the kids sports, etc. And say wow, how do you do it all....well let me tell you what happens when I get home at night....that's how I handle it. Not good and not doin' it anymore!!!

This post strikes such a chord with me. It is my biggest barrier to staying clean, and I think it's relatively common among women. We're good at being everything on the outside....but when we go home....after the kids are in bed, then we do what we can to unwind. Eventually, we start unwinding sooner, and we need to unwind for longer periods of time. Baseball practice is a good time to be a little "unwound." Sunglasses are your friend.

But as they get a little older, it's great to be able to drop 'em off at ball practice and go home. A few lines at the house during baseball practice, and you can at least feel somewhat confident that nobody's gonna walk in on you. Get a good buzz going, though, because once the young un's home, you can only enjoy a glass of wine or two. Ugh.

It doesn't hurt to use coke at work, because it doesn't really alter your "mind." Just don't smoke weed or use alcohol, because they actually impair you.

Well, a drink or two doesn't hurt, but no more than that if you're taking care of patients....

blah, blah, blah.

And nobody suspects. Amazing, isn't it.

~dig

austingemini · 08-06-2008, 07:01 PM

Yup, embarrassed. So instead I've told people that I'm on medication that drinking would interfere with, not drinking because I have an early morning, or any other manner of excuse. ANYTHING but being an alcoholic. Most folks don't (and likely never will) understand alcoholism. In this group (SR) however, I wear my alcoholism like a team jersey.

Heck, I still haven't really had the conversation with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. All she knows it that I haven't been drinking lately.

Digginit · 08-06-2008, 07:14 PM

I LOVE it...heh. That's WONDERFUL! I feel guilty for keeping my addiction to myself--it's personal, and it's hard to be around people who I really don't want to know why I'm not drinking.... Of course most of these folks are doctors and would question me about the mediciation. I could tell 'em I'm on a chronic dose of Flagyl...heehee. That'd shut 'em up. I think.

horsegyrl · 08-06-2008, 07:50 PM

I don't think you have to embrace a label. I think it's okay not to. As long as you are honest with yourself in acknowledging personal things that are problems and interfere with happiness, fullfillment, relationships, inner peace, health... I don't know a lot about sharing and healing or helping others, I find all of those elements of recovery very difficult and even painful, but understanding that they are a part of it and developing even the smallest ability to be open to considering those things is both enlightening and helpful.
Chickenlady, I am still sober, and hopefully on an upwards climb, although it's not easy. Sometimes I wish I could just hit control-alt-delete on my life, but there's no starting over and so I am hangin on. I got your sweet post and thank you for checking in to see about me. I will try to get on chat before too long and hope to see you there. I so appreciate all of your early support and kindness. It is still worth so much to me, and so are you. hugs

Love,
~horsey~

Eclipse · 08-06-2008, 08:14 PM

Hey Digginit,

I am glad there are others out there that are doin' the same thing. A water bottle here and there at the baseball game, gotta run to the car for something, etc. I actually had to spend an entire day at a sporting event and dropped off the kids early, like 7:00 am. I then went to a store (out of the area) and bought a large bottle of wine and kept it in my car...had to run to check my cell phone, or get another blanket, or whatever. By noon I had drank the entire bottle and needed to go for more...Thank goodness I have lots of sense (NOT) and realized it would not be good for me to go for more. THANK GOODNESS, it could have been a nightmare! Where does this friggin' bad dream stop???

bostonluv · 08-06-2008, 08:42 PM

I don't feel embarassed anymore to know that I am an alcoholic. Not being able to truly awknowledge that in my own heart is what kept me continuing to drink. I don't know why someone would feel proud to "be" an alcoholic though. I'm proud to be doing something about it and I'll be proud each day I decide to keep making the right decisions. But being proud to "be" an alcoholic sounds pretty ludicrous. Like someone saying, I'm proud that I lost a leg. Maybe they are glad is happened because it changed their lives in a positive way. I think the people you spoke with choose that word poorly. Just my opinion.

scoob · 08-06-2008, 08:44 PM

I did that with pot. I kept my pipe and lighter in my pocket. Sneak to the bathroom here, run to the car there. One quick toke and off I went.

serenityqueen · 08-06-2008, 08:59 PM

For me, I have never been prouder to tell people that I am a Recovering Addict and Alcoholic.

I think part of the reason is that I was only 11 years old when I first started getting high and graduated to the point of having two felony convictions, been through two divorces, was a complete embarressment to my family and most of all to myself. When I was 18 years old, I put myself in treatment for the first time and fought this disease for the next 25 years. When I finally got this thing, I was 43 years old so the majority of my life, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol.

A few weeks ago, I celebrated 3 incredible years in Recovery. I have no problem letting people know that I am in Recovery from the disease of addiction. Alcoholism and drug addiction seem to be as common anymore as someone having a chronic sinus condition or athletes foot.

For most of my life I was lost, felt as though I had some mental, spiritual and emotional disease that I would never find relief from. So today, when I no longer have to run to the bathroom at family activities constantly to swallow dozens of pills every few hours to just feel normal or worry about nodding off at my Son's baseball games or have my purse fall to the floor and a bottle of rum shatter, I'm proud of who I am and what I have accomplished.

I think KJ said it pretty well, there's no shame in my game.

I'm a proud addict and alcoholic and if by sharing my disease with others can help one other person see that there is hope, then I feel as though I am accomplishing what God let me live for . . . to share my experience, strength and hope.

God Bless,
Judy

Latte · 08-06-2008, 09:16 PM

I'm many things. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a veteran, a proud military wife, an Alaskan, and an alcoholic/addict. I am not "just" any of those things. I'm not proud to be an alcoholic/addict but I am proud to be clean and sober because I get to enjoy being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, veteran etc.

I don't let my addiction rule my life. If I'm somewhere where alcohol is being served and am offered I decline politely explaining that I don't like it. I don't. That is the truth. I drank to get drunk not because I liked the taste. Before I got into recovery the addiction ruled my life, today it is just another part of me. I am proud of who I am today. I am learning to love myself more and more each day. That took time and I'm still working on it.

***indigo*** · 08-07-2008, 09:23 AM

Hi when I was an alkie/addict (active) I couldn't care less what anyone thought except I hated myself, now I am a proud clean and sober woman and have tried to override the damage done and I feel I have been successful. I was never proud though.

chiynita · 08-08-2008, 12:38 AM

I dont like labeling myself either.
I know how you feel.
I would never go as far as sayin I was proud to be an addict. I really dont even know how that would be logical.
But thats just me.
But you can be whatever you want to be. Just dont forget that you have an alcohol issue.

Thinkingabit · 08-08-2008, 06:52 AM

There are other ways of looking at this whole situation and you need not wear a negative label for life. It is a choice to drink and a choice to stop. You can call it a disease if you like, or you can say "I have chosen to change" and I am a healthy happy woman. You cannot choose not to have a disease. The disease concept is a bit muddy at best and we could go on for hours about that...

So look at it like this...
You made some mistakes and bad choices. Now you are choosing better. If you were once biting your nails and you have worked on it and stopped the behavior, then you are no longer a nail biter. It is a behavior to drink as well. So you have stopped and you are no longer a drinker. This does not mean that you magically can now, but there is no evidence of benefit to negative labeling or the fear based life of the disease. In fact all research proves otherwise.

There is a group that is a spin off of aa that is called WFS. They are "competent women" and that is their label. I think that may fit some so much better.

Just some thoughts...

T

littlefish · 08-12-2008, 02:02 PM

I am with the crowd that can't really relate to being proud of being an alcoholic. I am proud of myself however, for quitting. I think those are two different things. I can also relate to being proud of being a recovered alcoholic.

To be honest, I won't and don't share this aspect of my life with others (only a tiny group of people) because there are too many people out there who don't understand anything about alcoholism and will simply judge and condemn out of ignorance. So, that is why I attach a lot of importance to the "anonymous" in AA.

I wouldn't worry about what others think about alcoholism. I would concentrate on what you think about it. I echo the sentiments of others here who aren't ashamed but simply see it as an aspect of who we are. I can say to myself now that I am an alcoholic without feeling shame because I am finally understanding what it is. It is a part of me like, oh, maybe heart disease. I don't beat myself up about it, but, I also know I have to take it seriously.

TryingSoHard · 08-12-2008, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eclipse

I am horribly embarrassed that I have a drinking problem...see I can't even say I'm an alcoholic. For most people who know me, they would be absolutely blown away if I were to tell them. There are a few around me who have seen me in a bad way, but most have no clue and think I am a great mom who helps out and school and with the kids sports, etc. And say wow, how do you do it all....well let me tell you what happens when I get home at night....that's how I handle it. Not good and not doin' it anymore!!!

Oh my god. I could have written your post.

08-05-2008, 10:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
chickenlady Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 30	Is it wrong to be embarrassed? I feel ashamed, embarrassed and worth little to be labelled as an alcoholic. Why can't I be just "me?" I have encountered recovering alcoholics (10 years and more) who say they're proud to say their an alcoholic. I'm not proud. I wished to he11 I wasn't one. I'm angry. I'm embarrassed, I feel like hiding out from the world. Why can't I just be me and feel good about beating the god awful disease? Am I alone in these feelings???

08-05-2008, 12:01 PM	#3 (permalink)
nandm Life the gift of recovery! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is Posts: 4,899	I think your feelings are normal. At least that was my experience in early sobriety. Today though I find that I am neither proud nor ashamed of being an alcoholic. It is just a part of who I am, just as I can not change my height, I can not change the fact that I am an alcoholic. It just is what it is. I don't go around advertising the fact that I am an alcoholic but am not ashamed when the opportunity arises to share it. If it were not for my alcoholism I would not be who I am today. I do not regret my disease. Today I am able to help others find a solution to their alcoholism because of my disease. That is nothing to regret or be ashamed of. Give it some time, don't be too hard on yourself and hopefully you will find peace with who you are. __________________ NOTE: All Big Book quotes are from the First Edition of the Big Book History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, however, if faced with courage, need not be lived again. - Maya Angelou

08-05-2008, 02:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,240	It is all part of the process. I hated people who said they were proud to be an alcoholic too. I've been sober 10 years and nearly 2 years ago I got diagnosed with MS and coming to accept that has really reminded me of early recovery. For me it's sort of been proof alcoholism is a disease, just like MS is. Hope that makes sense. __________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

08-05-2008, 04:50 PM	#6 (permalink)
Digginit Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: usa Posts: 447	I don't think there's anything about being an addict to be proud of. But there is something about being clean and sober to be proud of if you're an addict. But however you feel, it's not wrong. It's just how you feel. Just don't drink or pick up today. ~dig __________________ -- There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts.

08-05-2008, 07:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 2,236	I had a hard time in early recovery with the shame involved in calling myself and excepting the fact that I was an alcoholic. With time it has changed, I have a disease called alcoholism. I am no more ashamed of that than I am saying that I have fibromyalgia and mental illness. I choose not to be ashamed because this is who I am. BTW Chickenlady - we are goin g to have to play rock-paper-scissors for the avatar. lol __________________ Good friends are like stars..... You don't always see them, But you know they are always there

08-05-2008, 11:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
scoob Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 329	I think it will come in time. I'm at that embarrassed stage right now too. It's really raw right now. I think once I process and purge all the bad memories and feelings it will be easier to say yes I was in a really bad place, but i'm not there anymore. We have no journey yet to be proud of, just the bad memories that lead us to start.

08-05-2008, 02:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
TTOSBT To Thine Own Self Be True Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: So Cal Posts: 1,097	I am exactly where nandm is. I do not go around advertising it. But I do not hide it or lie about it either. I am not "proud" of being an alcoholic but I do accept it. And yes, you can feel proud that you are fighting this disease (cause no one of us has "beat" it) and you do not have to share it with anyone that you do not want to. I don't share my story often and I only share the fact that I am an alcoholic in recovery with people I trust.

08-05-2008, 06:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
Lily Ephesians 2:8 and 9 Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,284 Blog Entries: 3	I am not proud to be an addict, but I am glad I found recovery! Even when I had years clean I wasn't proud. I don't lie about it though either.

08-05-2008, 07:00 PM	#8 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,398	I'm proud to be a recovering addict! And I think that I've met more people in recovery who are spiritual and wonderful than the "normies" that have been in my life. No shame in my game! KJ

08-06-2008, 03:48 PM	#10 (permalink)
Eclipse Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 415 Blog Entries: 10	I am horribly embarrassed that I have a drinking problem...see I can't even say I'm an alcoholic. For most people who know me, they would be absolutely blown away if I were to tell them. There are a few around me who have seen me in a bad way, but most have no clue and think I am a great mom who helps out and school and with the kids sports, etc. And say wow, how do you do it all....well let me tell you what happens when I get home at night....that's how I handle it. Not good and not doin' it anymore!!!

08-06-2008, 07:01 PM	#12 (permalink)
austingemini Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 101	Yup, embarrassed. So instead I've told people that I'm on medication that drinking would interfere with, not drinking because I have an early morning, or any other manner of excuse. ANYTHING but being an alcoholic. Most folks don't (and likely never will) understand alcoholism. In this group (SR) however, I wear my alcoholism like a team jersey. Heck, I still haven't really had the conversation with my girlfriend of 2.5 years. All she knows it that I haven't been drinking lately. __________________ ------------------- If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before.

08-06-2008, 07:14 PM	#13 (permalink)
Digginit Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: usa Posts: 447	I LOVE it...heh. That's WONDERFUL! I feel guilty for keeping my addiction to myself--it's personal, and it's hard to be around people who I really don't want to know why I'm not drinking.... Of course most of these folks are doctors and would question me about the mediciation. I could tell 'em I'm on a chronic dose of Flagyl...heehee. That'd shut 'em up. I think. __________________ -- There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts.

08-06-2008, 07:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
horsegyrl Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: . Posts: 26 Blog Entries: 3	I don't think you have to embrace a label. I think it's okay not to. As long as you are honest with yourself in acknowledging personal things that are problems and interfere with happiness, fullfillment, relationships, inner peace, health... I don't know a lot about sharing and healing or helping others, I find all of those elements of recovery very difficult and even painful, but understanding that they are a part of it and developing even the smallest ability to be open to considering those things is both enlightening and helpful. Chickenlady, I am still sober, and hopefully on an upwards climb, although it's not easy. Sometimes I wish I could just hit control-alt-delete on my life, but there's no starting over and so I am hangin on. I got your sweet post and thank you for checking in to see about me. I will try to get on chat before too long and hope to see you there. I so appreciate all of your early support and kindness. It is still worth so much to me, and so are you. hugs Love, ~horsey~

08-06-2008, 08:14 PM	#15 (permalink)
Eclipse Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 415 Blog Entries: 10	Hey Digginit, I am glad there are others out there that are doin' the same thing. A water bottle here and there at the baseball game, gotta run to the car for something, etc. I actually had to spend an entire day at a sporting event and dropped off the kids early, like 7:00 am. I then went to a store (out of the area) and bought a large bottle of wine and kept it in my car...had to run to check my cell phone, or get another blanket, or whatever. By noon I had drank the entire bottle and needed to go for more...Thank goodness I have lots of sense (NOT) and realized it would not be good for me to go for more. THANK GOODNESS, it could have been a nightmare! Where does this friggin' bad dream stop???

08-06-2008, 08:42 PM	#16 (permalink)
bostonluv Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Northern CA Posts: 1,497	I don't feel embarassed anymore to know that I am an alcoholic. Not being able to truly awknowledge that in my own heart is what kept me continuing to drink. I don't know why someone would feel proud to "be" an alcoholic though. I'm proud to be doing something about it and I'll be proud each day I decide to keep making the right decisions. But being proud to "be" an alcoholic sounds pretty ludicrous. Like someone saying, I'm proud that I lost a leg. Maybe they are glad is happened because it changed their lives in a positive way. I think the people you spoke with choose that word poorly. Just my opinion. __________________ "When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long."

08-06-2008, 08:44 PM	#17 (permalink)
scoob Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 329	I did that with pot. I kept my pipe and lighter in my pocket. Sneak to the bathroom here, run to the car there. One quick toke and off I went.

08-06-2008, 08:59 PM	#18 (permalink)
serenityqueen Attitude of Gratitude Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 1,214	For me, I have never been prouder to tell people that I am a Recovering Addict and Alcoholic. I think part of the reason is that I was only 11 years old when I first started getting high and graduated to the point of having two felony convictions, been through two divorces, was a complete embarressment to my family and most of all to myself. When I was 18 years old, I put myself in treatment for the first time and fought this disease for the next 25 years. When I finally got this thing, I was 43 years old so the majority of my life, I was addicted to drugs and alcohol. A few weeks ago, I celebrated 3 incredible years in Recovery. I have no problem letting people know that I am in Recovery from the disease of addiction. Alcoholism and drug addiction seem to be as common anymore as someone having a chronic sinus condition or athletes foot. For most of my life I was lost, felt as though I had some mental, spiritual and emotional disease that I would never find relief from. So today, when I no longer have to run to the bathroom at family activities constantly to swallow dozens of pills every few hours to just feel normal or worry about nodding off at my Son's baseball games or have my purse fall to the floor and a bottle of rum shatter, I'm proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. I think KJ said it pretty well, there's no shame in my game. I'm a proud addict and alcoholic and if by sharing my disease with others can help one other person see that there is hope, then I feel as though I am accomplishing what God let me live for . . . to share my experience, strength and hope. God Bless, Judy __________________ *"It's Great to be the Queen!"*

08-06-2008, 09:16 PM	#19 (permalink)
Latte Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Palmer, AK Posts: 770	I'm many things. I'm a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, a veteran, a proud military wife, an Alaskan, and an alcoholic/addict. I am not "just" any of those things. I'm not proud to be an alcoholic/addict but I am proud to be clean and sober because I get to enjoy being a wife, mother, daughter, friend, veteran etc. I don't let my addiction rule my life. If I'm somewhere where alcohol is being served and am offered I decline politely explaining that I don't like it. I don't. That is the truth. I drank to get drunk not because I liked the taste. Before I got into recovery the addiction ruled my life, today it is just another part of me. I am proud of who I am today. I am learning to love myself more and more each day. That took time and I'm still working on it. __________________ I am so thankful for my sobriety

08-07-2008, 09:23 AM	#20 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Hi when I was an alkie/addict (active) I couldn't care less what anyone thought except I hated myself, now I am a proud clean and sober woman and have tried to override the damage done and I feel I have been successful. I was never proud though. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

08-08-2008, 12:38 AM	#21 (permalink)
chiynita My Heart Is With The Ocean Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Clifton Park, NY Posts: 5,698 Blog Entries: 21	I dont like labeling myself either. I know how you feel. I would never go as far as sayin I was proud to be an addict. I really dont even know how that would be logical. But thats just me. But you can be whatever you want to be. Just dont forget that you have an alcohol issue. __________________

08-08-2008, 06:52 AM	#22 (permalink)
Thinkingabit Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: United States Posts: 69	There are other ways of looking at this whole situation and you need not wear a negative label for life. It is a choice to drink and a choice to stop. You can call it a disease if you like, or you can say "I have chosen to change" and I am a healthy happy woman. You cannot choose not to have a disease. The disease concept is a bit muddy at best and we could go on for hours about that... So look at it like this... You made some mistakes and bad choices. Now you are choosing better. If you were once biting your nails and you have worked on it and stopped the behavior, then you are no longer a nail biter. It is a behavior to drink as well. So you have stopped and you are no longer a drinker. This does not mean that you magically can now, but there is no evidence of benefit to negative labeling or the fear based life of the disease. In fact all research proves otherwise. There is a group that is a spin off of aa that is called WFS. They are "competent women" and that is their label. I think that may fit some so much better. Just some thoughts... T

08-12-2008, 02:02 PM	#23 (permalink)
littlefish Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Sweden Posts: 102	I am with the crowd that can't really relate to being proud of being an alcoholic. I am proud of myself however, for quitting. I think those are two different things. I can also relate to being proud of being a recovered alcoholic. To be honest, I won't and don't share this aspect of my life with others (only a tiny group of people) because there are too many people out there who don't understand anything about alcoholism and will simply judge and condemn out of ignorance. So, that is why I attach a lot of importance to the "anonymous" in AA. I wouldn't worry about what others think about alcoholism. I would concentrate on what you think about it. I echo the sentiments of others here who aren't ashamed but simply see it as an aspect of who we are. I can say to myself now that I am an alcoholic without feeling shame because I am finally understanding what it is. It is a part of me like, oh, maybe heart disease. I don't beat myself up about it, but, I also know I have to take it seriously.