2nd day off Percocet...AGAIN!! newbe here...

[shineon55]

Hi everyone,
I'm so glad I found this site. My problem with pain killers has been going on for 6 years on and off (have taken as many as 20 in a day!!). I am seriously lucky to be alive. I am a young mother of 3 wonderful young children and my issues go on and on. One thing is that my mom just died in June and I promised her that I would get off these pills (she said do it for yourself not me! what an angel she was :*( .
I just ran out of pills a couple days ago and what I would do to get my hands on those things in the past just is....WOW! I've been wanting to do this for so long but I always have a rationale for not doing it. I feel like crap and I've been through this before and I know it's going to go on for weeks especially due to the length of time I've struggled with this addiction. But I did contact my doc asking for help. It took me 25 min to click send on the email I sent him..but I did send it! I am proud of that. I do hate and despise the thought of not being able to pop some percs to feel "normal" but I do know that this needs to be done.
Thanks in advance for any support!!!

[kj3880]

Hi Shine!

You're doing Cold Turkey opiate recovery alone!!! That's a tough thing to do. It can be done, but I couldn't do it. Maybe some will be along that will tell you how they did it alone. From what I hear, lots of fluids, water, tea is good. Stay near the bathroom, try to stay hydrated, and rest if you can't sleep. Be prepared to miss work for a week.

I struggled with the same thing, the percocet addiction. I tried to do cold turkey and I tried tapering alone many times with no luck. I ended up going to NA, where I was steered in the direction of a good outpatient treatment doctor, who is slowly detoxing me with suboxone. It has been pretty painless. Now I'm down from where I started, at 16 mg suboxone, to just 2 mg suboxone a day. I have something for sleep too when it's really bad (once or twice a week).

My doc is very proud of me. I've been in treatment for 4 months. I wanted to detox. faster, but for various medical reasons particular to my case, he explained to me, that isn't the best route for me. I do have some things wrong with me that you may not have physically, though. Some people my doc sees do detox faster, but many go slower than me. He has had some relapses when people just stop altogether. As long as they hang in there making progress to the end goal, I feel it's all good. My doc does re-treat his patients who relapse, because he knows it's "part of the struggle" for some who ultimately do get well. He has hope and believes all his patients can recover.

I'm following his advice, because I didn't do well on my own, and I'm feeling great about my program. I'm also attending NA frequently, have a temporary sponsor, and am on my 3rd step.

I just wanted to give you some hope.

I think you should get help, too. It's real hard to go it alone with opiate recovery. I think at the very least, see an outpatient doc, an addictionologist, even if you don't want detox meds, and get to some NA or AA meetings or even both, as I do, whichever you like best. And post on here a lot too. We're here for you.

We do recover, that's what I'm here to tell you.
KJ

[Lily]

Welcome to SR! I am sorry you lost your mom, that must be really tough. You are a brave lady and good for you telling on your addiction to your doctor!

I agree with what KJ said. Meetings, meeting w/ an addictionologist if there is one in your area, and keep posting. we are here for you!

blessings, Sheila

[CarolD]

Welcome...

I'm a recovered alcoholic who knows nothing about your situation
I did want to offer my condolences on the loss of your Mother.

Blessings to you and your children

[shineon55]

Hi everyone,
I am so thankful for your responses and well wishes. Going through withdrawal definitely makes grieving for my mom soooo much harder. My mind is racing. I hear her voice in my head constantly replaying things she has said to me regarding opiate addiction. She struggled with it for so many years and it got so bad when she got cancer and her tolerance was so high. Towards the end it was so hard for the docs to keep her pain under control. I keep thinking about that and how I don't want to end up like that and how she didn't want me to end up that bad. I think about all the times I broke her heart by her witnessing me manipulate people in my life to get my pills. She always supported me in whatever I did but her tough love is what made me overcome many obstacles in my life. I just wonder if that tough love is enough to get me through this. I keep begging her and God to help me!
I received a response from my doc saying he is going to reduce the dosage of percocet. I am smart enough to know that this "tapering off" doesn't really work with us addicts so I am going to look into a addictionologist and NA meetings.
I want to turn over a new leaf and start fresh. I want my kids to have their mother and not get robbed by me getting taken from them too early. I am SO SCARED AND CONFUSED!!!
Thanks again!

[kj3880]

Well, don't just "look into" going to an addictionologist or NA for too long, or you may get desperate and relapse. Just go ahead and do it. Take the plunge and make that call, make that appointment, make that meeting. You can do it!
KJ

[kj3880]

Shine,
How is it going?
KJ

[indigo]

Welcome to SR and a visit to the doctor won't go amiss it's tough stopping cold turkey.

[BigDreams23]

Hi! Im new to this site too, i was reading you story and it really touched me. I wish you luck. I too have a problem with percs, and cant seem to stop, i am deathly afraid of withdrawl. i was wondering about this doctor? do they give you somthing to come off the opiates? if you have more info let me know thanks and god bless

[mizztake33]

Great Jobbbbbb!!!!