involved in a horrible car accident yesterday and now i want to drink - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

lostnalone95 · 08-03-2008, 11:44 AM

i was involved in a horrible car accident yesterday. i hit an amish buggy from behind and both of the passengers in the buggy were injured. the woman is stable and will be fine but her husband is in a deep coma with minimal brain activity and will most likely die. and it is all my fault. to top it all off there is a very big chance that i could go to jail for this. and the prospect of all this is just terrifiying to me. right now i just want a bottle of tequilla to dull the pain and guilt. if the amishman doesn't improve over the next few days then they are going to take him off life support and he will most likely pass away. and i will have killed him and the whole situation just sickens me!! i can't eat or sleep i just keep replaying the accident in my mind and my nerves are so worked up that i just keep throwing up and crying i just can't stop crying. i talked to the family of the couple i hit......i asked them for forgiveness and they said that they had no bad feelings towards me....that this was just gods will. how can they be so forgiving towards someone who has more than likely killed their father, brother, uncle, etc. man oh man do i want a drink. i sat up all night thinking about how good a screwdriver would taste then i thought no.....just the bottle of vodka would be fine. i don't know how i am going to make it through this especially is i have to go to jail. and when this guy dies jail is a very real possiblity for me. i could be charged with involutary vehichular manslaughter or an equivaliant charge it is up to the prosecuting attorney. but i did call my sister this morning and made arrangements with her that if i do have to go to jail she is going to take care of my kids. my dad is just too old to take care of them full time by himself. well i need to go, my kids are up and i need to pull it together for now and sitting here crying uncontrollably as i type isn't helping the situation. i don't want them to know how bad things are until i absolutely have to tell them......how do i tell them that i may have to go to jail????? i am the only parent that they have left since the divorce. my daughter keeps asking me if i'm okay and all i can say is that i'm upset about the accident yesterday....i can't bring myself to tell her anymore. she is only 13 1/2 years old and my son is only 16. i'm not ready to leave them yet......

suki44883 · 08-03-2008, 11:47 AM

(((HUGS)))

It'll be okay. Accidents happen, and if you were sober when you hit them, why would you have to go to jail?

lostnalone95 · 08-03-2008, 11:51 AM

because if there is a death jail time is a possibility in the state that i live in.

suki44883 · 08-03-2008, 11:53 AM

I see, but still, if you were not acting in a wreckless manner and this truly was just an accident, I would venture to say that you may get some probation time or maybe a judgement for medical expenses, if anything. I can't imagine them putting people in jail for an accident.

***Impurrfect*** · 08-03-2008, 11:56 AM

awww, sweetie, take a deep breath.

Suki is right..accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents.

Try not to "what-if" yourself. I know in GA, if no drugs/alcohol were involved and it wasn't blatant reckless driving, people often serve probation only in vehicular manslaughter. You need to be clear-headed to deal with this.

A drink is only going to make the situation worse. You will have to deal with these feelings eventually...drinking will only numb you for a while and then you'll have the guilt of drinking to deal with.

His family has forgiven you....please try to forgive yourself. You didn't do it intentionally. I highly recommend counseling....I've seen people agonize over a situation like this for years.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Sugah · 08-03-2008, 12:06 PM

I'm sending prayers for you and all involved.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

**51anna** · 08-03-2008, 12:15 PM

Lost, I wonder why you believe you were at fault?

Were you speeding or driving recklessly? Or did you go through a stop sign?

If you were driving safely and obeying the laws, I'm not sure why you would go to jail?

If you believe jail might happen, my best advice is to get a lawyer and have him ready to go with your information.

I believe it is Amish culture to forgive, regardless of what happened.

I'm sorry you are going through this.

Toomutch · 08-03-2008, 12:26 PM

Lost - It is hard for me to believe that you will go to jail based on an accident. I don't know first hand how badly you are hurting, but drinking would only magnify this situation. Try not to be so hard on yourself, the family has forgiven you.
My prayers are with the family and you Lost.

kj3880 · 08-03-2008, 12:35 PM

Lostnalone:
Had you been drinking when the accident occurred? It's ok to tell us if you were. Either way, we'll still be there for you. Most of the people on here have driven impaired and are just lucky this didn't happen. It might help if you told us the whole story, to sort it out.
kj

suki44883 · 08-03-2008, 12:38 PM

Seems if she were drunk, she would have been arrested right then.

lostnalone95 · 08-03-2008, 01:52 PM

no, i was not driving under the influence. the accident happened because i thought that the buggy was going to go straight and i started to pass them and then he started to turn left and i hit them. it was at an intersection and i was cited for passing in no passing zone. i also was was going 65mph and could have been cited for speeding but wasn't. so that combined with the fact that the amishman is most likely going to die, i will probably have to serve some sort of jail time.

suki44883 · 08-03-2008, 01:55 PM

I still doubt you'll have to serve time over it.

**51anna** · 08-03-2008, 01:56 PM

I'm sorry Lost.

Have you thought about getting a lawyer for yourself? I really think you should.

**Rowan** · 08-03-2008, 02:31 PM

I'm very sorry for the accident, but there are a lot of 'what ifs' happening here. Stay sober, and try to pull yourself together. It is unlikely, given the circumstances, that you would do jail time. And even if you were to, that is very far in the future. You still have to make your first appearance in court, and then there is a possibility of a trial, etc. It could be a very long process, so please, for the sake of your sobriety and your children, stay in today as best you can and focus on the positive. Imagine if you had been drinking? Thank God you were not. You made a judgement error, and you will be charged and likely fined or put on probation.
Until that happens, again, please try to stay in today. And pray for the man that is in hospital, if you can. I'll do the same.
Take good care of yourself, and keep us posted. We do care.

lizw · 08-03-2008, 04:23 PM

I hate to feed you a cliche but 'there is no situation so bad, that drinking won't make worse.'

It will be okay, god/hp has you in hand.

Take it easy.

**CarolD** · 08-03-2008, 06:08 PM

(((Rachel)))

I am so sorry about the accident Of course we all know
you are upset disraught and sad.

I'm proud of you for asking your sister for assistance
should it be needed.

Even more proud that you talked to the injured mans
family and offered your apologies. Mega

They know it was an awful accident.

Drinking will make you more depressed....and you sure
don't need that to happen .
Yett another reason for you to be proud
you are not going down that dismal path .

Prayers of comfort coming your way rachel.

kj3880 · 08-03-2008, 06:17 PM

If your record isn't already real bad, you won't do jail time. I have some expertise in this area (I can't say what I do). It was an accident. The element that they would have to prove would be criminal negligence for you to get jail time. I don't think that your case, the way you state it, meets that.

I think the last one I went to where the guy got weekends in jail and was sober, he was texting on his cell phone when he hit a pedestrian and killed him in broad daylight. He was paying no attention to the road. And he didn't display remorse in court. They could prove he was texting from the phone records. So that was determined to be criminally negligent. But just slight speeding, and failure to yield on a turn, no.

The only thing that might be in jeopardy here for you is probably your driver license, and then only if you have already had some other issues with it. Believe it or not, fatal traffic accidents happen all the time, and they rarely result in anyone going to jail. It was an accident, after all, and it doesn't sound as though the Amish people are going to push for the judge to go hard on you.

You will go to court though, and you should have a lawyer, just to protect you. Anyone in your situation would feel awful, unless they had no heart. You are only human. Feelings are hard to deal with sober when we are used to drinkng them away. After you get a lawyer, ask him/her if there is some thing you can do, some way to reach out to the family to show how you feel. You will need counseling to get through this too. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

KJ

lostnalone95 · 08-03-2008, 08:30 PM

thanks so much for all of your prayers and sympathy.....i really don't deserve them. i just called the hospital and talked to the family and they said there is no change in his condition. i am so worried.......................

**51anna** · 08-04-2008, 05:41 AM

Rachel, you are doing really well and I know this must be so difficult to get through.

Keep us posted and please know we are here for you.l

I am sending prayers for you and for the injured man and his family.

**CarolD** · 08-04-2008, 09:54 AM

Yes...my prayers continue for all involved
in this tragedy.....

***indigo*** · 08-04-2008, 11:40 AM

Prayers and positive thought coming your way.

***cmc*** · 08-04-2008, 12:37 PM

I can't imagine how you are feeling but want to offer you my support and prayers too.
((((lost))))

Lily · 08-04-2008, 02:13 PM

Lostnalone,

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so glad you were not drinking as you obviously know how this would have made everything even more difficult.

I do want to try to offer you a little solice. In Psalm 139 it speaks of how God knows everything about us, from the moment he knit us in our mothers womb till now. There is nothing he does not know. He also knew before the foundations of the world the day each of us was born and the day each of us will die. I am glad his family is so forgiving. It may be that the know the Love of God.

I pray you would be able to find some peace in this even while you are in agony not knowing the outcome. I pray the man does make a full recovery. I also pray that you would know deep in your heart, you ar

08-03-2008, 11:44 AM	#1 (permalink)
lostnalone95 found NOT lost Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 894	involved in a horrible car accident yesterday and now i want to drink i was involved in a horrible car accident yesterday. i hit an amish buggy from behind and both of the passengers in the buggy were injured. the woman is stable and will be fine but her husband is in a deep coma with minimal brain activity and will most likely die. and it is all my fault. to top it all off there is a very big chance that i could go to jail for this. and the prospect of all this is just terrifiying to me. right now i just want a bottle of tequilla to dull the pain and guilt. if the amishman doesn't improve over the next few days then they are going to take him off life support and he will most likely pass away. and i will have killed him and the whole situation just sickens me!! i can't eat or sleep i just keep replaying the accident in my mind and my nerves are so worked up that i just keep throwing up and crying i just can't stop crying. i talked to the family of the couple i hit......i asked them for forgiveness and they said that they had no bad feelings towards me....that this was just gods will. how can they be so forgiving towards someone who has more than likely killed their father, brother, uncle, etc. man oh man do i want a drink. i sat up all night thinking about how good a screwdriver would taste then i thought no.....just the bottle of vodka would be fine. i don't know how i am going to make it through this especially is i have to go to jail. and when this guy dies jail is a very real possiblity for me. i could be charged with involutary vehichular manslaughter or an equivaliant charge it is up to the prosecuting attorney. but i did call my sister this morning and made arrangements with her that if i do have to go to jail she is going to take care of my kids. my dad is just too old to take care of them full time by himself. well i need to go, my kids are up and i need to pull it together for now and sitting here crying uncontrollably as i type isn't helping the situation. i don't want them to know how bad things are until i absolutely have to tell them......how do i tell them that i may have to go to jail????? i am the only parent that they have left since the divorce. my daughter keeps asking me if i'm okay and all i can say is that i'm upset about the accident yesterday....i can't bring myself to tell her anymore. she is only 13 1/2 years old and my son is only 16. i'm not ready to leave them yet...... __________________ not so lost and definitely not so alone anymore!!!!! SR ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! riding the coaster for FUN now!!!!!!

08-03-2008, 11:51 AM	#3 (permalink)
lostnalone95 found NOT lost Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 894	because if there is a death jail time is a possibility in the state that i live in. __________________ not so lost and definitely not so alone anymore!!!!! SR ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! riding the coaster for FUN now!!!!!!

08-03-2008, 11:56 AM	#5 (permalink)
*Impurrfect* Community Greeter Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Atlanta Posts: 5,814	awww, sweetie, take a deep breath. Suki is right..accidents happen. That's why they're called accidents. Try not to "what-if" yourself. I know in GA, if no drugs/alcohol were involved and it wasn't blatant reckless driving, people often serve probation only in vehicular manslaughter. You need to be clear-headed to deal with this. A drink is only going to make the situation worse. You will have to deal with these feelings eventually...drinking will only numb you for a while and then you'll have the guilt of drinking to deal with. His family has forgiven you....please try to forgive yourself. You didn't do it intentionally. I highly recommend counseling....I've seen people agonize over a situation like this for years. Hugs and prayers! Amy __________________ "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

08-03-2008, 12:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sugah Om, Aum, Ohm... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh Posts: 2,347	I'm sending prayers for you and all involved. Peace & Love, Sugah __________________ I don't know what happens when people die Can't seem to grasp it as hard as I try It's like a song I can hear playing right in my ear That I can't sing I can't help listening ~JB

08-03-2008, 12:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Lost, I wonder why you believe you were at fault? Were you speeding or driving recklessly? Or did you go through a stop sign? If you were driving safely and obeying the laws, I'm not sure why you would go to jail? If you believe jail might happen, my best advice is to get a lawyer and have him ready to go with your information. I believe it is Amish culture to forgive, regardless of what happened. I'm sorry you are going through this. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

08-03-2008, 11:47 AM	#2 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,439	(((HUGS))) It'll be okay. Accidents happen, and if you were sober when you hit them, why would you have to go to jail?

08-03-2008, 11:53 AM	#4 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,439	I see, but still, if you were not acting in a wreckless manner and this truly was just an accident, I would venture to say that you may get some probation time or maybe a judgement for medical expenses, if anything. I can't imagine them putting people in jail for an accident.

08-03-2008, 12:26 PM	#8 (permalink)
Toomutch with a new light in my eyes Join Date: May 2007 Location: Littleton, Co. Posts: 2,236	Lost - It is hard for me to believe that you will go to jail based on an accident. I don't know first hand how badly you are hurting, but drinking would only magnify this situation. Try not to be so hard on yourself, the family has forgiven you. My prayers are with the family and you Lost. __________________ Good friends are like stars..... You don't always see them, But you know they are always there

08-03-2008, 12:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,398	Lostnalone: Had you been drinking when the accident occurred? It's ok to tell us if you were. Either way, we'll still be there for you. Most of the people on here have driven impaired and are just lucky this didn't happen. It might help if you told us the whole story, to sort it out. kj

08-03-2008, 12:38 PM	#10 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,439	Seems if she were drunk, she would have been arrested right then.

08-03-2008, 01:52 PM	#11 (permalink)
lostnalone95 found NOT lost Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 894	no, i was not driving under the influence. the accident happened because i thought that the buggy was going to go straight and i started to pass them and then he started to turn left and i hit them. it was at an intersection and i was cited for passing in no passing zone. i also was was going 65mph and could have been cited for speeding but wasn't. so that combined with the fact that the amishman is most likely going to die, i will probably have to serve some sort of jail time. __________________ not so lost and definitely not so alone anymore!!!!! SR ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! riding the coaster for FUN now!!!!!!

08-03-2008, 01:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
suki44883 Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 1,439	I still doubt you'll have to serve time over it.

08-03-2008, 01:56 PM	#13 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	I'm sorry Lost. Have you thought about getting a lawyer for yourself? I really think you should. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

08-03-2008, 02:31 PM	#14 (permalink)
Rowan Lucky Cracka Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,021 Blog Entries: 1	I'm very sorry for the accident, but there are a lot of 'what ifs' happening here. Stay sober, and try to pull yourself together. It is unlikely, given the circumstances, that you would do jail time. And even if you were to, that is very far in the future. You still have to make your first appearance in court, and then there is a possibility of a trial, etc. It could be a very long process, so please, for the sake of your sobriety and your children, stay in today as best you can and focus on the positive. Imagine if you had been drinking? Thank God you were not. You made a judgement error, and you will be charged and likely fined or put on probation. Until that happens, again, please try to stay in today. And pray for the man that is in hospital, if you can. I'll do the same. Take good care of yourself, and keep us posted. We do care.

08-03-2008, 04:23 PM	#15 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 1,240	I hate to feed you a cliche but 'there is no situation so bad, that drinking won't make worse.' It will be okay, god/hp has you in hand. Take it easy. __________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

08-03-2008, 06:08 PM	#16 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,398	(((Rachel))) I am so sorry about the accident Of course we all know you are upset disraught and sad. I'm proud of you for asking your sister for assistance should it be needed. Even more proud that you talked to the injured mans family and offered your apologies. Mega They know it was an awful accident. Drinking will make you more depressed....and you sure don't need that to happen . Yett another reason for you to be proud you are not going down that dismal path . Prayers of comfort coming your way rachel. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

08-03-2008, 06:17 PM	#17 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 1,398	If your record isn't already real bad, you won't do jail time. I have some expertise in this area (I can't say what I do). It was an accident. The element that they would have to prove would be criminal negligence for you to get jail time. I don't think that your case, the way you state it, meets that. I think the last one I went to where the guy got weekends in jail and was sober, he was texting on his cell phone when he hit a pedestrian and killed him in broad daylight. He was paying no attention to the road. And he didn't display remorse in court. They could prove he was texting from the phone records. So that was determined to be criminally negligent. But just slight speeding, and failure to yield on a turn, no. The only thing that might be in jeopardy here for you is probably your driver license, and then only if you have already had some other issues with it. Believe it or not, fatal traffic accidents happen all the time, and they rarely result in anyone going to jail. It was an accident, after all, and it doesn't sound as though the Amish people are going to push for the judge to go hard on you. You will go to court though, and you should have a lawyer, just to protect you. Anyone in your situation would feel awful, unless they had no heart. You are only human. Feelings are hard to deal with sober when we are used to drinkng them away. After you get a lawyer, ask him/her if there is some thing you can do, some way to reach out to the family to show how you feel. You will need counseling to get through this too. I'm sorry you have to go through this. KJ

08-03-2008, 08:30 PM	#18 (permalink)
lostnalone95 found NOT lost Join Date: May 2006 Location: a happier place than before!!!! Posts: 894	thanks so much for all of your prayers and sympathy.....i really don't deserve them. i just called the hospital and talked to the family and they said there is no change in his condition. i am so worried....................... __________________ not so lost and definitely not so alone anymore!!!!! SR ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! riding the coaster for FUN now!!!!!!

08-04-2008, 05:41 AM	#19 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Rachel, you are doing really well and I know this must be so difficult to get through. Keep us posted and please know we are here for you.l I am sending prayers for you and for the injured man and his family. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

08-04-2008, 09:54 AM	#20 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 15,398	Yes...my prayers continue for all involved in this tragedy..... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

08-04-2008, 11:40 AM	#21 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Prayers and positive thought coming your way. __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

08-04-2008, 12:37 PM	#22 (permalink)
*cmc* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: a good state of mind Posts: 9,638	I can't imagine how you are feeling but want to offer you my support and prayers too. ((((lost))))