Teenage girls!!!!!!

[Paulie]

Okay as most of you know, my SO has 2 kids, a boy turning 9 next month and a 13 year old daughter. I have worked REALLY hard to have a good relationship with these kids and I can finally say I do! YAHOO.

So a couple nights ago I am cleaning my kitchen, in walks the 13 year old and says "Pauline, can I ask you a question?" I say "sure"....

Are you ready.....she says -

"How old were you the first time you frenched kissed a boy?"


I told her the truth and I even showed her his picture in my yearbook, then we had a talk about really liking a boy or just 'going out' (what ever that means to kids today) with him to have a boyfriend.

It was very interesting, not the most comfortable conversation I ever had but a really good one, another gift of my sobriety.

This might not be a big deal for some of you moms, but remember I am only a part time mom she caught me totally off guard. I talked to her before she started middle school about boys and stuff but this is the first question she ever asked me directly about me!!!!

[SkyIsFalling42]

Pauline
You really tickle my funny bone sometimes!!

I think the fact that she asked you this means that she trusts and values your opinions. And you answering her honestly validates that.
I think this is a very big deal, obviously you have put alot of time into having a trusting, open relationship with your step children.
Pauline, my step mother hated me because I existed, and she did so much emotional damage in my little girls mind at the time.
What you are giving your step kids is a true, wonderful piece of your heart...and they will never foreget it.
I think that being a step mom gives a person a very unique advantage. You are above all concerned with their well being, as a mother is. But there is a little bit of healthy space there that allows you not to over react, or do something that will make the situation worse..kind of like being a mother, aunt, sister all in one. I hope i made some sense here?

You are soooo awesome, and i am glad you are in my life!!

[Paulie]

Thanks Sky -

That makes total sense. I think we are achieving the relationship that I wanted and not it scares the CRAP out of me LOL!!!

I could not talk to my mom about anything, I don't know what she shares with her mom and what she doesn't, I just know that we all, especially at that age (but our whole lives) need as many people as we can have in our lives that we trust, like you said. 13 is when I started using and screwing up and that scares me for her at this age.

Thanks Sky, I wanted to share this funny story with you guys.

No ....go fishing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SkyIsFalling42]

LOL-Cant go fishing..sun is uncooperative!!!
But as soon as his show is over..we are LEAVING!!

[Juls]

Pauline,

My daughter is six, and I also have a 26 y/o son. The other night my daughter was asking me how I could have two husbands. I told her I hadn't been married before. Then she asked me how could I have Noah, my son, without a husband. Yikes.

I told her you didn't need to have a husband to have a baby. LOL She is very precocious, and is asking lots of questions already. i.e., "What is sex?" When I asked her what she thought it was, she told me that it's when you get under the covers naked and kiss. How do they learn that at such a young age?

I do believe in being honest and upfront with kids. So I think you definitely did the right thing talking about your personal experiences. If our kids can't talk to us adults, then they get alot of misinformation from each other. I think it's great that she feels good enough about your relationship to come to you that way.

Juls

By the way, how old were you when you first French Kissed a boy? LOL

[2stop]

{{{PAULINE}}}

Bless your heart, you're one terrifc lady and one heckuva stepmom. The work and dedication you have for your recovery, for your family and relationships with others really shows through. Your care is so appreciated on here and I can tell very much so at home. God bless you!! I'm issuing you a Medal of Best Stepmom Award!!!!!!!!

[SkyIsFalling42]

Pauline
this one time....this one time..OMG im laughing so hard I cant see!! My friend was spending the night, it was early evening and we went outside and sat in my moms car. well she had this like race car steeing wheel with 3 bars in the middle, and 3 holes in each bar. there was a tiny hole, a medium hole, and a big hole. We were very bored and talking. As we were talking, I was sticking my ring finger in each of the holes. well it wouldnt come out of the small hole at all..it must have started swelling. The only thing I could think of was that my mom was going to KILL me!! I wouldnt let my friend go tell my mom, but sent to a neighbors house for some soap and water. We lived in the projects, so soon there was a whole swarm of kids outside of the car. The soap wasnt working and I became resolved to living in my moms car for life. The police went by and seen all of the kids hanging around and stopped to get the scoop. My mom stepped out onto the porch, but didnt see me in the car. She was afraid that my brother was in some kind of trouble again, turned around, went back in the house and went to bed
the police said the ambulance would have to take me to the hospital, and my mom would have to be told, cause she had to go with me. :ohno!: :ohno!: So I started planning my funeral, no flowers of course.

everyone was laughing at me. In the ambulance, the driver turned around and said" we thought we would just let you drive" I had to hold the steering wheel up with my left hand, to keep it from hanging off my right ring finger. the hospital staff was very amused at the sight of me walking in holding that steering wheel i sure wasnt laughing then, But I sure am now

[2stop]

Oh Sky!!!LOL!! You're a hoot from way back ain't ya!!!!!!:p God bless ya!!!!

[Paulie]

SKY - that is toooooooo funny. Must have been hilarious!!! Isn't it funny how as we get older, the things that we looked at as such horrible or scary times in our lives really were just funny!!


Juls - I was in 7th grade :greencry: :dead: . she is going into 8th this year. She was bummed that she had not done it yet, of coure I asked about her friends and she said 2 of them had. that is when I pulled out my yearbook and told her about the guy and how much I liked him and she did admit that she hasn't really like a boy like that yet, so I thought that was a good thing.

OMG - I can't believe your daughter at 6 asked you that. When my kids were six and you just mentioned sex they would run out of the room, and I don't think they even knew why LOL.

2stop - you are way to nice, I am just living my life one day at a time. I share this kinda stuff here cause it stirs up all kinds of emotions for me and I understand today that I am not unique and there are others out there who might me going through the same thing.

But the medal...after 3 - 13 year olds this weekend...I accept with honor LOL!!!

[Ann]

Sooo Pauline - How old were ya? HA HA HA HA HA Just Kidding.

I think she is very lucky to have a step-mom like you who is so open minded and emotionally available. And I think you will have your work cut out for you .

[Paulie]

7th grade!!!