Mums in their 20's

[colukmea]

Morning everyone...

I'm 28 and a mother of 3 and whilst in the shower this morning started to wonder how many other mums in their 20's are on this site dealing with recovery? I sometimes feel like I'm the only one and thought it would be great to connect with others who are in a similar boat as me.

((((hugs))))I

[lizw]

I'm a little bit over 20, that being 30 and I will be 31 in October.

I have a 13 year old daughter but was reminded of the joys of parenting under 10's when a friend of mine was visiting the other day and we were orgainsing dinner. The youngest girl didn't want anything we had on offer and then in exaspertion my friend said to her, "You'll eat what your given."
I cracked up laughing since I hadn't heard or used the pharses for a few years now and I haven't been able to get it out of my head ever since.

I'd forgotten what under 10's were like. Especially girls. Very particular about what they want!!

[Latte]

I am 34 but my girls are 6 and almost 10. Parenting littles is always a challenge but my 6yo said to her little friend the other day, "we can't control what other people do, only how we react to it." She spent the entire year of four going to meetings with me so you can just imagine all the gems she has to share with the world.

[indigo]

Welcome to the women's forum, I'm too old now, although I had 4 kids before I was 26. I'm sure you'll have many more responses to your questions and I hope you keep posting.

[dancinggirl]

I'm 33...have three kids... I'm single, so all the aspects of dating and recovery are happening with me right now.

[ananda]

i'm 49 and have one son, age 29. He still lives at home...and beieve me...sometimes it seems like they never grow up!

I raised my son by myself and was sober most of the time (in AA) from his age 5 to 21.

Raising a child alone can be dificult, but there are some real advantages to it as well....like being the only decision maker!

been through the dating thing in the past with a child, and even now it's interesting. My son told me his friends told him that if he doesn't like my date, just to say hi dad to him and he'de run like hell!

[Sugah]

I'm too old, too - Just turned forty, and three of the four children under my roof are now classified as legal adults. One just turned twenty last Friday. I sobered up at 34, and I'd be more than willing to share what I experienced in the past almost six years. I wouldn't exactly call myself the voice of wisdom, but we all lived through it.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Lily]

I'm a fossil. I am almost 44 and just started menopause. :-( I have 2 boys 19, and one boy 5.

Blessings, Sheila

[lizw]

Originally Posted by ananda

Raising a child alone can be dificult, but there are some real advantages to it as well....like being the only decision maker!

This made me laugh out loud because my sponsor says it to me all the time these days.

She says, "Liz, if you were in a relationship you'd be ringing me up and complaining about the input your partner offers regarding the raising of your child, because you'll be unable to agree on things..."

Oh, she knows me too well.

I've had 2 live in partners in recovery (both had different ideas about raising kids to me) and I've had a BF, who I was starting to get antsy with when he commented on my parenting....

I think I am a bit more liberal than most. I use to think it was maybe a bad thing but I have found a school that shares some of my beliefs and my daughter started there last week. I think it will be good for her, and though it is early days she seems to really enjoy it.

[kmsj75]

I'm 33 and have two little people (girl-9, and boy-5.) I just recently remarried, and it is definitely a challenge co-parenting with someone new.

I was in recovery while single with them, and I when I first started out I felt like I had to relearn how to parent. I didn't know what to do. A wise old-timer to me to just teach them the spiritual principles of the program and go from there.

Cool! I get to practice recovery with my kiddos!

Biggest mistake I made while single? Bringing someone into their life too early. He had a child, and was great. However, we were much better as friends and I soon realized that it was much harder on the kids than it was on me.

Glad to know there are other moms around!

[Butterflywoman]

Been there. Done that. Good luck to you!

[BreakFree]

Hello

I feel that way and I'm 36! LOL I think a lot of woman (and I am speaking strictly of myself and my own experience with others in my life during my 20's) in their 20's are still finding out who they are and what is expected of themselves and their lives during their 20's. There are some who pretty much party through the whole first half only to hit mid-way and do a 360 into a life full of responsibility. Some do well with this and some struggle. For me, I did a lot of growing in my 20's and had some of the best and worst experiences of my life during that time. The difference for me was that in my earlier 20's, when I was making the "worst" decisions, my head wasn't so "loud" that I was constantly analyzing those decisions or my life. When I hit my mid-to-late 20's, I started to really think long term and craved a life of stability. I guess all of this to say that I think the 20's is a time of real transformation in the way we think and view life and our actions. If there is an absence of people in 20's in recovery or seeking help, I think it's because a lot of people don't yet realize they need it, you know? When I think back, I should have been here back in my 20's...FOR SURE! I sure wish I had! I didn't realized that alcohol was "seducing" me back then. In my case, alcoholism is a very patient disease...it started way back in my early teens when I was putting Schnapp's in my vanilla shakes! YIKES!

I think it's awesome that you are here, figuring it out in your 20's! Just think how wonderful your 30's will be - alcohol free - and totally in control of your life! I posted over in the SAHM's thread, but I haven't seen any activity over there. I hope to see you around!

Have a great day!
~M

[Bluberry]

colukmea-

I am 22 years old and have a soon-to-be 2 year old. The father and I split up a year ago. I have a BF who gives me a little advice when asked for it, but mostly lets me figure it out on my own. You are deffinately not alone. I'm here!

BreakFree -

Thank you so much for your input because it has really made me feel better about myself, being 22 and feeling as though I'm just now getting to know myself. I've felt real guilty knowing that I don't really know myself, especially being messed up for the last 10 years. I've felt guilty cuz being a mom, I feel as though I shouldv'e already gotten that done (along with a lot of other things). But you've made me be a little more realistic and not so hard on myself. Thx.

[BreakFree]

Originally Posted by Bluberry

I've felt guilty cuz being a mom, I feel as though I shouldv'e already gotten that done (along with a lot of other things). But you've made me be a little more realistic and not so hard on myself. Thx.

(((Bluberry))) I am SO GLAD my comment gave you a different perspective. Life can be so hard at any age. I can SO relate to your comment about feeling like you should have it all together before becoming a mom. TRUST ME, my struggles with alcohol aside, I have felt that way since I became a mom at 28 and I STILL feel that way. Taking the best care of yourself emotionally and physically is such an important part of being a good mom. I have to remind myself of that everyday. You are on the right path and things will all work out...

Prayers and hugs to you! :)
~M