Suicide Reality Check

[Butterflywoman]

I need a reality check . . .

When someone dies they say, "She has gone to her just reward." "She is in heaven and at peace." "She is not in pain anymore." "She is in a better place." I tell myself this to make peace with Sandra's suicide.

So . . . why shouldn't I get to be with her. What are the reasons I don't get to go to my just reward now?

[kj3880]

God isn't done with you yet. There are things left that you have to do, learn, give, and get from the universe. When it's your time, you'll be called. Pray on it.
KJ

[BUTTERFLY-7]

cause God is not done with U Yeat
U Still have allot 2 give, not that Sandra didn't.
But God knows who 2 take, and who not to take.

maybe Sandra was more weaker, and wouldn't have
been able 2 make it with all her suffering, and God decide it
that it was time 4'r her 2 Rest, is weird but thats Life
some of us could manage 2 survive, some of us can't,
Some of Us are weaker, and some of us are stronger,
just hang in there Kiddo and more will be reveal.

Let Go, and Let God.













__________________________________

[laurie6781]

So . . . why shouldn't I get to be with her. What are the reasons I don't get to go to my just reward now?

Because your work here on this plane is NOT DONE YET. You will see Sandra again, of that I am certain, on the next leg of the ONGOING JOURNEY. This leg of your journey is not over yet.

I don't know if you have done this yet, however, I do know that in California especially there are many psych Docs that work on a sliding fee basis, based on what you can afford to pay. It is good that you are aware of these thoughts, however, I would like to suggest that you try and find a psych Dr that you feel comfortable with and discuss these thoughts THOROUGHLY with the Dr.

Any of us at any time can get these thoughts. I myself have had them, YES in recovery, with many years under my belt. I reached a point a while back when my health issues had become extremely stressful, and I had a real good case of the "F***-Its" and was seriously thinking why go on. Got with my psych Dr, one more time, and we worked through it, in addition with him 'tweaking' my meds just a bit and I did get past it.

However, I must say how being aware of these types of thoughts can be very frightening in themselves.

Please keep posting and sharing how you are doing, we (I especially) do care very very much!!!!! However, we are not Dr's and are not equipped very well to handle these types of problems, except for some of us to say we do REALLY understand and to give you bunches and bunches of HUGS.

((((((((((((Butterflywoman))))))))))))

Love and more hugs,

[Lily]

BFW

We don't get to pick when we die unless we take matters into our own hands. This is never God's perfect will for us.

Psalm 139

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

I pray you could find peace and that you will realize that God's will for you is to you to continue on, and to do his will.

blessings, Sheila

[Live]

I lost my son to suicide.

I came to the decision that I would embrace my life as fully and adventurously as I could in order to show how much I hated his death. To show what life is worth, if you will.

I do at times get very depressed and wish to quit also. But I have made the decision that is not an option.

[Anna]

One thing that recovery has taught me, is that I am here for a reason.

One thing I know for sure, is that I am meant to be here.

And, you are too Butterfly!

[Butterflywoman]

Thanks for all the support. I am being selfish. I have a responsibility to tough it out for the sake of my children. I also have a ministry in which I help people. I need to remember that. But, to be honest, I can't wait for God to take me. My love to everyone and thank you!

[Surlyredhead]

I am so sorry you are hurting, , sometimes the pain gets overwhelming, especially when we are the ones left behind (my brother took his own life at the age of 17, he would be 41 now) add to that confusion, anger, guilt and it can seem unbearable, no matter how long ago it happened, sometimes it feels like it was 5 minutes ago. You are not alone, and you are in no way being selfish, you are hurting and missing the one you love. You are doing the right thing by getting the feeling out and sharing how you feel...we are with you, God is with you and I truly believe that Sandra is watching over you. I don't know what else to say, sometimes hearing someone tell you to be strong is not the thing to say....maybe you need to just let it all out, cry, stomp, scream, what ever it takes. Then rest and know that you will be okay and you are not alone...

Cathy

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Hey Kiddo here is something 2 carry U through
YouTube - He will carry me

[dancinggirl]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way...I've felt like "oh, it would be so easy"...at times, too. And I've thought, "I can see why people do it"....but then I know my kids would be left behind. I also know that 100% fact that we'll all get there eventually. There is absolutely no missed ride on that train! We will all be with the ones who've passed ahead of us again. But we can't relive our lives right now.
I bet that your stories on here have touched people and made changes that you don't even know about in their lives. I bet that if you weren't here, someone would've taken that drink/drug/life....I bet that just by living this day, you have saved someone else by sharing.

[Digginit]

all that others have said and this: The problem of hurting so badly that you want to die because you lost someone you love will not go away if you made the choice to kill yourself. It would just become someone else's problem...someone's who loves you very much and will be left with similar pain if you die.

~dig

[Live]

Yes, it can never be an option for me because I could not do that to my daughter.

[WishIWasNormal]

ButterflyWoman, It is obvious you are suffering deeply. There is an organization called Emotions Anonymous where you would be loved and supported in person and not just cyperspace. Sometimes it goes by the initials EA. My father attended for many years after his depression crippled his ability to function. We would continue to love you here and it would help to know you were not alone. God Bless.