Why am I doing this?

[Pagekeeper]

Hi everyone. I've been in and out of AA for two years now. I've had a tough year (picked up 3 white chips since late November.) I've noticed this time that I'm very preoccupied with men. I'm really checking out the guys in the rooms and having a hard time stopping myself. I have never really done this before. I had male friends in the program, but they were just that--friends. Now it's like I'm trying to get high on lust. I haven't acted on any of it, thankfully, but I've noticed that my attitude towards men in the rooms has changed and I'm not sure what to do about it.

The worst part is that I'm married. I know this is selfish, self-centered, self-seeking behavior, but I don't know how to stop it. Again, at this point it's all in my head, and I haven't acted on anything. It sort of makes me think I'm wanting to fill the void with a new relationship--the excitement, thrill, etc. and that is really just another way to avoid working on me. I know it's not totally uncommon for this to happen to someone who is newly sober, I'm just wondering if anyone has ever found themselves in this situation, and how did you deal with it? Going to women's only meetings is not an option for me in my area, though I really wish it was right now.

[BUTTERFLY-7]

Hi:pageseeker I could relate 2 U in every level
I also found my self been attracted 2 every man
not only in the rooms, but out side as well.

Remember we are sick individuals,
we are Recovering Addicts, with allot of
addicted behaviors, and if U read U'r
own thread, U will find yourself answering
U'r own Questions?

U said that U realize that is U'r self center
addiction behavior, is trying 2 substitute the rush, & trills,
drugs, and alcohol, use 2 give us.
there is a saying, that we are as Sick, as our Secrets are.

what work 4'r me was that I came Clean, and Surrender,
and I Share, and Ratted, on my Disease, so all my Demons
were release, and my spirit got clean.







_______________________
kill it before it kills you

[lizw]

if there can be such a thing. Put one to bed, up comes another one.
ANYTHING outside myself tends to get used as a tool to make myself feel 'better'.

I'll PM you.

[lovingseren]

Page,

sometimes in sobriety we find it easier to deal with distractions rather than what the real issues are.

Your mind really is full of anything you choose to put into it, throw out each thought that is not condusive to your sobriety...and replace it with 3 positive ones.

Do not allow negative or obsessive thoughts to swirl around and grow inside your mind.

We are in charge of our minds, our thoughts and our lives.....when we realise we have complete CHOICE, that is when we are empowered to help ourselves.

Keep your eye on the prize...your recovery....and your marriage.

You probably have to give yourself some tough love and a good talking to, about consequences of following this sort of thinking through.

Seren