Pity Party - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Butterflywoman · 06-28-2008, 03:47 PM

I am really missing Sandra today. Dating is hopeless. Men my age want youthful, beautiful women. They say they want a woman their age (60s) but then they tell you there is "no chemistry" which to me is code for not being able to get excited about an older woman. I have to get back to where I was when I met Sandra, happy and single. I know I can do it. Being single can be great. But I am not there yet. I spent the whole day crying over my sweetheart being in heaven and leaving me to fend for myself. Maybe I should throw a pity party.

lovingseren · 06-28-2008, 04:49 PM

Hugs to You

I find the best thing to do when I get into a ditch of despair is to go and help someone who is worse off than me.

I volunteer at my local food bank....you can meet lots of new friends there.

Seren

**51anna** · 06-28-2008, 05:09 PM

Hi Butterfly,

Seren is right. Volunteering is a great way to beat the blues.

You'll find a way back to single and happy!

***indigo*** · 06-29-2008, 01:14 AM

Yes I agree with Anna and Seren, volunteering is a great way to meet good friends.

DSodaNow · 06-29-2008, 11:09 AM

I am sorry that you are suffering today.

You were blessed to have her in your life. She is still with you.

Let time take its course.

Lots of love to you.

Butterflywoman · 06-29-2008, 04:15 PM

I am feeling better today. I called the suicide prevention hotline last night. Very interesting. I think my friends are getting tired of hearing about my wanting to die so I can be with Sandra.

Service is what keeps me going. I sponsor women in A.A. Studies show that it is peer support (the 12th step) that keeps people sober, even more than the spirituality part of AA.

Thanks for all the support. I do not like the world we live in and have no desire to be here, but God gave me life and I know I can't throw it away. People do need me. And it is nice to be needed.

lizw · 06-30-2008, 02:30 AM

Will bring coffee and chocolate but I would have to tell you to start being kind to yourself and to start being there for you. Start loving yourself. Give yourself treats.

It sounds like you really need a lot of love and the best person to give that to yourself, is yourself. Make yourself important. And do something you enjoy.

I wish I had learnt as a child, that I am my own best friend. Would have probably made my life 10X easier. But, better late than never.

Serenity2008 · 06-30-2008, 03:12 AM

I have no words of wisdom but I wanted to say that there are people in the world who need and love you. I hope things get better for you x

BUTTERFLY-7 · 06-30-2008, 11:09 AM

ButterflyWoman mine if I join u I'm also Feeling the Bluesss

Butterflywoman · 07-01-2008, 02:14 PM

How are you BUTTERFLY7? I'm doing ok! Going to order barbecue for the 4th. I am dieting just so I can pig out.

BUTTERFLY-7 · 07-01-2008, 06:45 PM

I'm hanging in there I been following up on your
threads and let me tell you you and I have so much in common
at least your going to have a 4th of july barbecue

I ain't got no were to go My husband he is not the out going person
he was at one point I don't know what happened to him it all change when we got married

my relatives are in the other side of the world, my foster parent, &
her daughters, I lost touch with them I can't be around there they are very toxic people

so I'm feeling the Blues I'm miserable my marriage is Hell!!!!!

so enjoy your 4th of july

Butterflywoman · 07-01-2008, 07:14 PM

I am not going out to a barbecue. I am ordering from a restaurant that delivers. I will be home alone. So let's check in and support each other.

BUTTERFLY-7 · 07-02-2008, 10:21 PM

U Got it Girl.........I'm Bringing a dogie Bag he..he..he..

06-28-2008, 03:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
Butterflywoman Love Addict and Alcoholic Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: California Posts: 143	Pity Party I am really missing Sandra today. Dating is hopeless. Men my age want youthful, beautiful women. They say they want a woman their age (60s) but then they tell you there is "no chemistry" which to me is code for not being able to get excited about an older woman. I have to get back to where I was when I met Sandra, happy and single. I know I can do it. Being single can be great. But I am not there yet. I spent the whole day crying over my sweetheart being in heaven and leaving me to fend for myself. Maybe I should throw a pity party.
	__________________ Recovery means doing the right thing even if we don't want to . . . one day at a time.

06-28-2008, 04:49 PM	#2 (permalink)
lovingseren Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Vancouver BC Posts: 379	Hugs to You I find the best thing to do when I get into a ditch of despair is to go and help someone who is worse off than me. I volunteer at my local food bank....you can meet lots of new friends there. Seren
	__________________ My recovery program is Women For Sobriety WFS Sober since Oct 2003

06-28-2008, 05:09 PM	#3 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 10,593	Hi Butterfly, Seren is right. Volunteering is a great way to beat the blues. You'll find a way back to single and happy!
	__________________ Anna "I don't know what the future is holding in store I don't know where Im going, Im not sure where Ive been Theres a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I don't need to see the end." John Denver

06-29-2008, 01:14 AM	#4 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 8,979	Yes I agree with Anna and Seren, volunteering is a great way to meet good friends.
	__________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

06-29-2008, 11:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
DSodaNow Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 326	I am sorry that you are suffering today. You were blessed to have her in your life. She is still with you. Let time take its course. Lots of love to you.
DSodaNow Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 326

06-29-2008, 04:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
Butterflywoman Love Addict and Alcoholic Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: California Posts: 143	I am feeling better today. I called the suicide prevention hotline last night. Very interesting. I think my friends are getting tired of hearing about my wanting to die so I can be with Sandra. Service is what keeps me going. I sponsor women in A.A. Studies show that it is peer support (the 12th step) that keeps people sober, even more than the spirituality part of AA. Thanks for all the support. I do not like the world we live in and have no desire to be here, but God gave me life and I know I can't throw it away. People do need me. And it is nice to be needed.
	__________________ Recovery means doing the right thing even if we don't want to . . . one day at a time.

06-30-2008, 02:30 AM	#7 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 902	I will come to the pity party Will bring coffee and chocolate but I would have to tell you to start being kind to yourself and to start being there for you. Start loving yourself. Give yourself treats. It sounds like you really need a lot of love and the best person to give that to yourself, is yourself. Make yourself important. And do something you enjoy. I wish I had learnt as a child, that I am my own best friend. Would have probably made my life 10X easier. But, better late than never.
	__________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

06-30-2008, 03:12 AM	#8 (permalink)
Serenity2008 Newbie Join Date: May 2008 Location: England, United Kingdom Posts: 15	I have no words of wisdom but I wanted to say that there are people in the world who need and love you. I hope things get better for you x

06-30-2008, 11:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
BUTTERFLY-7 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: inside my Brain Posts: 1,090	ButterflyWoman mine if I join u I'm also Feeling the Bluesss

07-01-2008, 02:14 PM	#10 (permalink)
Butterflywoman Love Addict and Alcoholic Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: California Posts: 143	How are you BUTTERFLY7? I'm doing ok! Going to order barbecue for the 4th. I am dieting just so I can pig out.
	__________________ Recovery means doing the right thing even if we don't want to . . . one day at a time.

07-01-2008, 06:45 PM	#11 (permalink)
BUTTERFLY-7 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: inside my Brain Posts: 1,090	I'm hanging in there I been following up on your threads and let me tell you you and I have so much in common at least your going to have a 4th of july barbecue I ain't got no were to go My husband he is not the out going person he was at one point I don't know what happened to him it all change when we got married my relatives are in the other side of the world, my foster parent, & her daughters, I lost touch with them I can't be around there they are very toxic people so I'm feeling the Blues I'm miserable my marriage is Hell!!!!! so enjoy your 4th of july

07-01-2008, 07:14 PM	#12 (permalink)
Butterflywoman Love Addict and Alcoholic Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: California Posts: 143	I am not going out to a barbecue. I am ordering from a restaurant that delivers. I will be home alone. So let's check in and support each other.
	__________________ Recovery means doing the right thing even if we don't want to . . . one day at a time.

07-02-2008, 10:21 PM	#13 (permalink)
BUTTERFLY-7 Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: inside my Brain Posts: 1,090	U Got it Girl.........I'm Bringing a dogie Bag he..he..he..

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