Substituting addictions?

[daffodil75]

I'm sure this subject may have come up in the past on this forum, but just needed to know>>>

Does anyone here have a problem with subsituting one bad addiction with another? For example, I went from cocaine (yep, it all started with a line of coke) to meth to marijuana (after becoming afraid of losing teeth) to sleeping pills to prescription meds to sex addiction and then to alcohol. It seems as if I lay one of them to rest, I just pick another right back up again. It seems like most of my life has revolved around one or more of those things that I get the compulsion to do.

If someone has been through this; how did you break the cycle? I'm feeling a compulsion toward something outside of myself to keep from being--bored? The alcohol is not even completely out of my system yet and I'm already looking for something else destructive to get into...

[51anna]

Hi Daffodil,

I haven't been through that exactly, but I do know I have an addictive personality. I think I am drawn to anything that makes me feel good.

I believe the way to stop that is to really work on recovery. It's not about the alcohol or pills, it's the symptoms underneath. For me, it was dreadfully low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and the disease to please.

Take a good hard look at yourself and see what you can do today to make one small change in your life.

[Helsabot]

I know exactly what you are going through, Daffodil. It seems like any destructive thing I could get my hands on in my life, I've held on to harder than I've ever held on to a relationship, school, work, or friendship. Mine started out with an eating disorder, which was promptly replaced with severe alcoholism, then coke, then a brief stint of sobriety and then back to the booze. It kind of feels like there is this hole inside that I keep trying to stuff up with various things, but it only makes the hole deeper.

I'm trying to get sober again, but I know when I was sober, I replaced my addiction with good addictions--eating right and working out. It was hard as hell to do but if you are an extreme person, which it sounds as though you might be, you know you're probably going to need a lot of stimulation or something you can put a lot of energy into. I just got myself a gym membership and signed up for this forum, so hopefully I can indulge in recovery instead of these self-destructive things that I have proven again and again never provide even the smallest bit of satiety. But yeah, I totally get your quest to avoid boredom. Looking back nothing has frightened me more than being bored. I'm still not sure what about boredom is so scary--time alone...with my thoughts...thinking about all of the things I could be doing instead for fun...always trying to get out of my head...Hopefully we can find something that can still stimulate us without killing us. Sorry if I don't have any better suggestions, but just know there are definitely other people with this same quandary.

[CarolD]

I really like what Helsabot just shared about
replacing destructive actions with healthy ones.

I learned to do that with depressive thoughts.
It took practice to mentally switch gears
then slowly....it was a habit.

Helsabot.....Welcome to our recovery community!

[daffodil75]

Thanks for the advice... And, Helsabot, you really nailed it on the head. As an extreme personality-type, BOREDOM has always been my biggest fear! And, actually, I've also dealt with disordered eating since puberty.

My husband is NOT an extreme or spontaneous person. Not sure whether that's good or bad for me. My drinking got worse when we married b/c he's a home body and never likes to go anywhere or do anything fun. He's perfectly content with work, dinner, small talk, sleep, repeat. And that drives me CRAZY! So, it results in me finding alternative ways to get outside of my head in this house and, as a result, my substance/alcohol abuse got to it's worst point ever. It got to the point where he was actually kind of glad if I were drinking so I wouldn't bother him so much... He's away for 2 weeks due to work and it's the first time in a long time that I've gotten a chance to think about me and what it is that I want to do. I seem to do so much better when he's gone and this confuses me.

[indigo]

Yes I have a very addictive personality so I can understand where you're coming from. I looked at my addiction swapping one by one as I stopped one addiction and replaced it with another I somehow managed to recognize what I was doing and worked hard at overcoming one at a time, not easy but possible. I hope you'll keep posting and be able to manage your condition.

[Emimily]

when i first got sober, i worked out almost every day. at three months sober, i did a triathlon. i also went to AA meetings almost every day. by the time i was done working, going to the gym, and hitting my meeting i was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. it kept me busy busy busy, which was great because boredom for me is a hard thing too.

nowadays, i sponsor two women. i still hit a meeting almost every night. i hang out with my friends and family on the weekends, and i play pool or go to concerts or movies or etc. etc. almost every weekend. i almost wish i had more free time, but it's been really good for me.

i think exercise does so much for those in recovery. it releases endorphins naturally, so your mood balances out. it helps regulate your sleep and benefits your health (physically, mentally, and spiritually) all around.

best of luck, keep us posted!

[daffodil75]

Exercise sounds like a very good idea. I love yoga and kind of got out of the habit these last 2-3 years b/c of drinking. Time to pull out the stretchy pants and get busy again...

Well, girls, it's now Day 5 and I'm on the way to the doc to make sure everything's going smoothly...

[Cathy31]

Hi Daffodil
Great advice here - and good luck with the doctor..I'm exactly the same and feel extremely uncomfortable admitting that substituting one addiction for another is 'self destructive' - but it is!! And what's more uncomfortable is that I'm still not wholly comfortable with 'me' hence the searching outside....food, exercise (at least that's a godo one) travel, sex etc etc etc
Bikram Yoga I find extremely good.
cATHY31#X

[ImJulie]

For me, it started with booze and pot.
Progressed to pills.
Quit the pills and took up cocaine.
Quit coke and flipped back to booze.

If I remove all chemicals....my impulses want to take me shopping, gambling and to all you can eat buffets.

There isnt too much that I seem to be able to do in moderation.

[Freedom1990]

I maintain my recovery through the 12 steps of AA. I find I can adapt those steps to all of my addictions, too numerous to list, and I had to smile when you said sex because that was a biggie I refused to look at for several years after I got clean/sober.

When one of those addictions tries to pop up, it's time to take a serious look at just what is going on with me because it's a sure sign I'm not solid in my recovery

[felly79]

Well, I have substituted one addiction for another. I cut myself from the age of 13 until I was 21, then I started drinking, which was a wonderful vacation from cutting. Now 8 years later I am quitting alcohol and I am determined not to replace it with something else. I think I just need to be mindfull of this, that something else might come along to replace drinking and in that case I just need to turn my head and look the other way. I really just don't want another addiction, I just want a normal life. I would do anything for it.

[Digginit]

I haven't substituted addictions myself so much. My favorites are coke...and work. LOVE coke even though it tries to kill me....tries harder every time we get together...lol. What I've found, though, is that when I use anything else, including a glass of wine or two, I want more coke.

I can work an absolutely INSANE schedule--27-28 days a month (3 days off) and 10-13 nights on top of all the days. It doesn't feel insane to me, but when I examine it with friends (who try to convince me that I work too much), I can see it. So maybe I substitute work for coke. I don't know, but I LOVE it too.


~dig

[Bel303]

Yes, trading addictions is something I relate to very well.

If someone has been through this; how did you break the cycle? I'm feeling a compulsion toward something outside of myself to keep from being--bored? The alcohol is not even completely out of my system yet and I'm already looking for something else destructive to get into...

I never broke the cycle, but I think I minimised the harm by having many years free of substance abuse and finding some joy in travelling, excercise, Art, work, and Uni instead. It helped me to stay in control over substances, knowing I could feel good doing other things.

Soemthing I've been really enjoying a lot lately that is totally immersive is photography. I spent too much money on my lenses, but what the heck I can spend hours in a forest, chasing around wild-life with my lenses. Its more fun that I can describe. I take snacks with me too, for the birds, and now I have a little `tribe' of different birds that fly up to me each day to see me I have a few eating out of my hand now. Its just magical.

I guess what I'm saying, is when you want to start thinking about drugs or drinking, also think about life, and what gives you joy. Surely there are some things? Try to keep it all balanced. Recovery takes a lot of time, because happiness with life is hard to find. Just minimize the harm in the meantime, if you can.

[ImJulie]

Hiya daffodil!

For me, I dont seem to be able to do much of anything in moderation!

Once I cut out the drugs (codeine, oxy's, cocaine and pot) and the booze.......
I shopped. Thousands of dollars, on mostly stupid stuff. I went at shopping the way I went at cutting myself a line....Go big or stay home was my motto.
I gambled. Thousands of dollars with me thinking I was going to be the next Texas hold em champ!
Sex...poor hubby just couldnt figure out what was up with me. LOL...we'd go for months with no action...to me wanting it in such a needy way...3-4 times a day.

Yup....trading addictions was a problem for me.

[Stormy1119]

If I'm sober I feel the need to shop or eat. I like instant gratification.

My mind is so f'ed up I actually considered calling someone I know who sells weed (i've NEVER smoked).. cause surely weed is less harmful than alcohol. I didn't actually call, but just the fact that crossed my mind shows how screwed up my way of thinking is.

[Digginit]

I've not been bad about using one addictive drug to replace another. I like coke. But as I approach 6 months of sobriety, it's been pointed out to me that all I seem to do for fun anymore is work. Hmm. I figure that at least it's productive...???

~dig

[daffodil75]

What great advice some of you are giving... I knew I couldn't be the only one who seems to need instant gratification in just about everything... Right now, I'm gaining weight and can barely fit my clothes b/c gourmet foods, chocolate, and carbonated drinks have replaced alcohol at the moment. Working the 12 steps seems like the best way to go for ALL addictions...

[ultimatum]

Hi Daffodil,

Moderation is a tough one huh? Know what you mean about the junk food. It's unfortunate that the things we should be addicted to (exercise, etc) are so hard to just start doing. I've found that after a long rebellion, starting yoga again has been a great stress reliever, but boy it is still hard to make myself do it.

[Gertiegirl]

Yep yep - Im a shocker for this. I replace one with another. Although I've been an alcoholic for years (I see this -now- never used to acknowledge it) I spiriled out of control with alcohol BIG time, when I joined weightwatchers. Dropped 25kilos, but got to a 3L cask of wine per night. The last time I managed to successfully get sober and stay sober for a decent amount of time (well a few months anyway) I ended up self harming. I started drinking again when I realised that I couldn't actually hide the scars and burn marks all the way up my arms during a hot summer. Im beginning recovery again with a plan to stop that stuff again, the happiest time in my life when my addictions didn't rule me was the two years I did Mauy Thai kickboxing - so I have already looked into the nearest kickboxing club, and re-hung my punching bag. Im planning to take out temptation with a few decent punches! Plan in advance maybe about something positive you enjoy doing when you know you're gonna be tempted to find something to get you high.

[MandaXBear]

I've subsitited many addictions... it all started when I self-injured... from there I went onto binge eating and drinking. I am trying to stop drinking now and hopefully I won't find another addiction. I believe I have an addictive personality. Sadly...

[DrugFreeUMfan]

yeah i am the same way. I'm trying to get myself addicted to positive things: working out, practicing guitar, going to see live music.