Question for the housewives (or former housewives)

[Krissy 72]

Well, I'm going on 3 months or so (sober), but I feel like a huge mess. I'll try to keep the personal drama to a minimum. I've been an alcoholic for more or less 5 years. A lot of people on here worry about parties or social situations, but I'm the opposite; the best drink for me was always the one that was a secret... easy when you're alone all day. Social situations (there aren't many), I'm an angel. Lately the temptation has been just overwhelming. I can't remember my last good day.

I know I need to get out of the house. My son is 17, wonderful, and leaving next year for college, so I'm not so necessary. I have a BA degree in psych (of all things!!!) and used to be a case manager, but looking back, that me seems like a TOTAL stranger. Oh, and there's the fact that in the meantime I defaulted on my student loans and don't know if I can get an official transcript or not (again, too chikens**t to try).

I steel myself now just to go food shopping. I need a job, but don't no where to start - what the hell would I put on a resume???? The two years before I started drinking I took care of my grandmother who had alzheimer's disease. Basically, I have a seven year blank that I have no idea how to fill in.

Is it to soon to get a job? I think if I was busy it might help, but I'm really scared. Money is SOOOO tight. I thought things would be easier without my drinking $$$ wise, but life has intervened and we're more strapped than ever.
I'm afraid of everything, and worry constantly. Our insurance doesn't cover s**t for therapy. We simply don't have a dime of extra money.

I know there are a lot of homemakers on here. Have any of you isolated yourselves with drinking to this point and managed to come back? I feel too worthless and afraid to stay home in terms of drinking again, but I'm terrified of getting back into the "real" world. Limbo sucks.

Any advice would be appreciated. I have no "real" people to help, only people who would (and do) say, lighten up and have a drink. My dream is to be self sufficient, but I see no way of that happening, realistically.

You have all been an amazing support to me. Sorry for such a downer post.

THANK YOU once again,

Kris

[Lily]

Kris,

Congrats on your 3 months! That is awesome! funny how you say you best liked to be alone when drinking. I was the VERY same way! I got clean in NA in 1991 but when I relapsed, it was always alone. I have 2 boys, 19 and 5 and the 19 yr old is away at college. As far as the isolation goes, you wanna know what REALLY helped me? meetings! I started going to AA and now I go to both NA and AA. I have been going now for over 3 months and they are a huge part of my recovery and "getting back out there in the world and my fear of ppl." When I called to go to my very first meeting I asked if there was a seat in the back in which I could "hide" funny? HUH?

just take some baby steps.....

hang in there! write me back if you want..... Sheila

[indigo]

Yes I can relate to isolating too.
As Sheila said baby steps and it will get better.

[zoomer]

When I first got sober I went to AA, it helped get me out of myself. I too was a stay at home mom for many years and i was just honest with my employer. I took a job as a waitress (you make great money),but I was a paralegal. Right now I'm going back to school to become a social worker of all things. I'm proud to say I can now hold down a job for almost 3 years, that would have been impossible for me if I was still drinking. Being sober enables me to go out and do the things I can do to better myself. Start off with small things and then as time goes by you'll be able to take on more responcibilities. I first went to 90/90 meetings and that got me to a point to be responcible for showing up at a certain time. I also made coffee and people counted on me being there at those meetings. Today when I go to AA meetings I'm always early and help set up. Money is always tight,but AA is free and it can help teach you responcibilities outside the home.

[wooforever]

They are right baby steps. As for the resume you really do not have a blank 7 yrs. You were a stay at home mom taking care of sick grandmother. What did you do to help care for your grandmother? YOu can let the employer know you were at home taking care of your grandmother, it is different now a days then it was in past with blank years of employement. Start with temp agency or part time work. Baby steps is best.

Do 90/90 it helps alot. Once you get use to getting out of the house you will be ready to get a job.

[resentful wife]

When you do your resume, just high light your experience and schooling. There is time to explain as much as you want once you get a interview. Try to keep it to a cover page and just one other. People get bored real easy reading resume's. Once you get a interview maybe tell them that you have been a care giver and mom and put working on the back burner up til now. Good Luck, and keep up the good work.
Linda

[resentful wife]

Oh and as for school, trying applying on line first and see what kind of feed back you get, if they accept you, you don't have to accept them, but you'll have the info you need.
Linda