OT..job related worries

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I just have to get this one out.

My previous job was a very toxic environment. I became very egotistical there and selfish as well. I lost that job last summer, and now I have a new job in a much better environment, but I am in a role that is new to me and without any "clout" so to speak..basically, I'm low man on the totem pole and that's fine with me. It's the kind of job that I don't have to carry around with me outside of the work hours.

Anyway, my partner called me yesterday from the ER and asked me to head down there. Which I did. She's fine BTW...but we spent the day there.

My boss calls me at 4 to get my work hours so that she could do payroll. I hadn't written it down, I knew that I was short a few hours and told her that, also said that I had kept track on my calendar on my desk. She said she would check it, and then asked me to keep track of my hours on a daily basis in order to not have anymore confusion in the future.

I hung up the phone and FREAKED. Was I in trouble? Am I on my way to getting fired? All sorts of thought came into my head, and the rest of the night was spent feeling very anxious.

I KNOW deep down that she was stating a potential problem, and asking me to take care of it. NO problem. Why am I reacting this way?

[indigo]

You're probably feeling a little insecure and we can conjure up all kinds of catastrophies. She's probably exercising her authority, don't let her faze you, we all have emergencies and you did the right thing. I'm glad your SO is ok and that's the main thing. I'm sure when you're feeling more settld in the job things will shrink into proportion for you...in the meantime just breathe!
I hope your'e not feeling too anxious today.

[Impurrfect]

I had a boss, years and years ago, who only talked to his employees when we had done something wrong, or were in trouble. To this day, I still get anxious if my boss says he wants to talk to me...instantly wondering "what have I done wrong?" I know this doesn't help, but at least you know you're not alone in your thinking!

Glad your partner is okay, like Indigo said, that's the most important thing.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

[Anna]

Yeah, I'd agree with Annie.

You're probably feeling insecure. Whenever I've had to leave work for a medical appointment or emergency, I always feel anxious about it. Try to believe that the comment she made was more about her than about you.

[nandm]

Hang in there and listen to the posts above mine which I am in total agreement with. Breathe, meditate, exercise, do what ever relaxes your mind. You will get through this. Your HP will not drop you one your head, he/she didn't bring you this far to do that. Work the Steps around it, this will give you release, at least it does for me.

[tanyapmc]

Remember to breathe. And we can't please everyone. Sad but true!

[CarolD]

Do any praying over this situation?

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Thanks for all the responses.

I went in today and the boss was on the rampage about a serious mistake. I started praying.."God, grant me the serenity.."

Well, I had a part in the mistake. My boss spoke to me, she was EXTREMELY upset (rightfully so, we deal with people's lives)I made no excuses..but to make a long story short, much good came out of our conversation.

My boss likes me. If she didn't she wouldn't be talking to me about ways to make my work better. I became upset (again, this was a serious mistake) and she told me that she knows how much I care about my job and the work that I do and wouldn't have it any other way. She said there is no way that she would consider not having me there.

Not why I thought I was anxious..maybe I subconsciously remembered the mistake I made yesterday and THAT'S why I was anxious?

Once again, my HP makes it known to me what my path is! I feel better about my job, my position, and my boss. And, she probably feels better about me.

Tonight, I went and got a new tattoo...it's on my left wrist and is the word "believe".

The gifts of recovery..I am grateful.

Thanks guys!