Slipping back

[knittinggal]

I feel so bad, but I cannot control this addiction. I vowed to have had my last drink a few weeks ago, a few days before I found this wonderful site, but I slid back. I think I have to go to a meeting, maybe more. In the meantime, can you give me some tips on how to avoid the 4 liquor stores in town?? What I can do the resist the urge to go purchase the alcohol? I'm playing in dangerous fields because I'm on 4 meds for my bipolar. Any insights would be extremely helpful... I'd love to read about other experiences. Thanks.

[indigo]

When you pass a liqour store just ride on by don't look remind yourself how bad it will make you feel, how it will mess with your meds and maybe put you in a tailspin, self talk helped me and now it comes naturally. Let your meds work and don't listen to those drinking urges. Good to see you here. If meetings work for you then you work those meetings jmo.

[zoomer]

When I was drinking and doing medication and stopped drinking and it dawned on me that I was a danger to myself. I stopped taking medication many times so I could drink only to be placed in the hospital yet again for loss of control. I thought if only I could put down that drink I'd be Ok. Well, I got sober and stopped all medication thinking I was only an alcoholic,but at 6 months sober I was in the hospital again. This time I take my medication as directed and don't drink. How I don't drink is by going to meetings and when a craving pops up, I talk about it to someone who is sober in person or by the internet. It's been 3 and a half years sober and 3 years without a manic attack. It's all simple really,but then again it's not. I'm powerless both over my alcholism and my bi-polar. I treat my alcoholism with AA and my bi-polar with my doctor. I did not go to any treatment this time because all they would tell me is to go to AA, get a sponcer, work the steps... But it was hard and still hard at times. It's a one day at a time program meaning I just don't drink for today and get over my feelings for today and worry about tomorrow when it comes. I screwed up in my life,so now I have to make up for it by going back to school,working and go to my meetins and see a shrink. When all is said and done and I'v have had a **** day, at least i can say I'm sober and I'm a winner for that. I drank beer and on every corner there is a store selling beer. At first I would not go near the beer and avoid getting milk of all things because it was right next to the beer,but now I can get my milk without beer being on my mind. It takes practice. So I say don't drive near any stores that sell alcohol or walk past them until you can walk on by. I also did not go to any fuctions that served alcohol for a long time. Now I only go if I have good reason to go and I have a sober person with me. I have made my own little safe world and outlets to use if I need them. One last thing, drinking and taking meds is dangerous! Don't be a danger to yourself and have to be locked up or not trusted. Give AA a shot or bring up your cravings at a meeting if your already going. Most of all give time time and don't drink just for today.

[Paulie]

I feel so bad, but I cannot control this addiction.

IMO you are trying to control something your are powerless over. You said maybe you should go to more meetings. I would say yes and get a sponsor and work the steps. That is what works for me. And more important than all that, I have a higher power in my life that I can rely on to help me drive past those liquor stores. I cannot do it alone, I cannot control my drinking and using but with an HP, meetings, my sponsor and my step work I can put my disease into remission on a daily basis.

Just for today, do not drink, dont think past today!!!!

[CarolD]

Many of us had false starts on our way to recovery.

The only failure is to quit trying.

Take your meds and committ to AA.
That's my suggestion

Blessings

[Anna]

Hi Gal,

I had to make big changes in my life in order to stop drinking. I used to drink, at home, alone, so whenever my husband would go away, it was a trigger for me. I had to be doing something else at those times and just not be home alone. I suggest driving a different way home. It sounds really simple, but it can help. I had to avoid the wine/beer aisle in the grocery store for a long time too. You'll be surprised how small changes can help. And there is always hope.

[Gobi]

If I may add my humble thoughts: Early in my recovery (I'm 3 years +), "just for today" might as well have been "never, ever again, for as long as I live and then some", and that was just overwhelming to me. So I did 10 minutes at a time, or even 5 minutes at a time, if that's all I could muster.

Anna's absolutely right about the simplicity of taking a different route home. In addition to not passing by the stores, you're doing something different - and we (I) don't break habits by NOT doing something, we (I) start a new habit to replace it.

When you do pass that liquor store (you're going to, you know), just give yourself FIVE minutes -- five seconds is all it would take to get by the front door to the store, so you'll be well out of harm's way.

[Lily]

knittinggal,

Don't beat yourself up. I found the site in Oct. and had like 42 days, then 23 days, and now I have 35 days, however this time I am doing something different, I started meeting and I found a woman sponser. I have already started working on the steps too!

Keep in mind that just because the drinkng pops in your head while driving by a liquor store you do not have to act on it. I get those thoughts daily, I am just not acting on them anymore. They pass! don't dwell, do something else, and keep posting the board!

hang in there! blessings, sheila

[Draysin]

For the first month or so after I stopped drinking, driving by the beer store was distracting...to say the least. It was my choice to stop or keep going.

Keep going. No one is forcing you inside. Congratulate yourself when you make the right choice. I know it's not easy.

I'd really try to just take care of you...as if you had the flu. Sleep, eat, drink plenty of water. Rent movies, read, clean, take baths, brush your teeth...look in the mirror, in your eyes and be proud of what you are doing to help yourself have a full and happy life.