OH oh

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Wow..am I angry,irritable, and tired. Haven't been sleeping well, due to various things: cats, things slow at work so I'm not expending any energy during the day, kids, and my close proximity to the one bathroom in the house. I got angry today before I even got out of bed. I tried to pray..I'd still be doing it and I'll be late for work. I've been doing my work. I've been going to meetings. I've been calling my sponsor. I blew up at A this past weekend and it's been downhill from there..that's resolved but I'm not quite sure what's going on. My positive outlook has gone to heck..

I guess I'm just asking for some positive thoughts and prayers from you guys..don't like feeling this way..

Karen

[bugsworth]

merlotmamma,

I am sorry you are feeling blue...life has its ups and downs!

I am so fortunate that anytime I am feeling down all I have to do is walk into work to understand that my life is amazing...even when I am feeling blue.

I work in a nursing home...so much sorrow...so much pain...so much inspiration!

I don't know your situation but I volunteer at a local soup kitchen run by the salvation army. I love the people and get so much satisfaction from watching the joy on someones face when they receive something we all take for granted...a hot meal...

I take my daughter with me, she has learned very early in life that we are blessed.

Maybe you can find some place close where you can help.

I hope you find peace today, you are a wonderful person!

[Rowan]

Hi Karen,

I understand all too well - I'm just coming out of that place, myself. All the positivity - poof - gone. Mind you, I've been depressed, but still, I've been irritable and a bit angry too. We read Step 10 at my meeting last night and it helped to talk about resentment, anger and fear openly. Even if you're angry, pray. Tired? Pray. Pray for the willingness to accept where you are at, and ask God to remove your anger.
Coming here and sharing helps me A LOT.
Hang in there, make restitution when necessary, and know that this will pass.

Love Ro
xo

[Anna]

Hi Karen,

Sometimes these things come along and they just are. It does sound like lack of sleep might be a big part of the problem. Not getting enough sleep is bound to affect your mood. I hope you feel better.

[Paulie]

WOW - been there myself.

I heard Marianne Williamson say the other day on the radio that if we are feeling axious or depressed, there is someone we have not forgiven.

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Myself, I am on my 4the step again....explains me LOL. You, what step are you on? where are you with your recovery.

You already know, but I will say it again, just talking about it releases the power.

And one more thing, a wise woman here at SR told me along long time ago. -

The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~!

Now sometimes for me it is more than 2 days , but I know - this too shall pass

Hang in there. Dont let go of the rope!

[PaperDolls]

Karen

[grateful2b]

Hi Karen, just coming out of that place,which resulted in a huge breakthrough, and today after sometime I am posting on SR. Feels good to be back..Today is the first day, I am feeling fully connected to my heart......I know after being on this road long enough that if I trust, it will be revealed eventually....please be patient and not too hard on yourself....sending prayers your way, grateful

[CarolD]

For me....
Prayer and Laughter works to get my head back straight.

Sorry to know you are having a down time
Prayers for your peace zinging out.

This kept me giggling since I saw it....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...d-husband.html (The Cremated Husband)

Blessings to you and yoour loved ones Karen

[indigo]

My prayers are your prayers (((Karen)))

[nandm]

((((((((((((((((karen)))))))))))))))))))))

Thought I would send some food for thought you way. Hope you find something of use in it.

Judith

"I am in that temper that if I were under water I would scarcely kick to come to the top."
---John Keats

Visualizing the future

When people who aren't troubled by "blue" moods or depression think about the future, their feelings are often a mixture of pluses and minuses. They imagine more pleasant possibilities than improbabilities and spend some of thier time daydreaming ---creating ways in which the future may work out that fill them with optimistic anticipation. In effect, they're hopeful and thus take actions in the present that will ensure the positive outcomes they desire in the future.

But when you're troubled by depression or despondent moods it can become harder to imagine anything hopeful happening in the future. Your tendency is to focus on the minuses rather than the pluses. This negative thinking can prevent you from making constructive plans about the future. It's this loss of hope that keeps you locked in despair and that casts a pall over your ability to look ahead.

Yet, just as you visualize unfortunate things happening in the future, so too can you visualize positive occurances. Although it may be difficult at first to create a scenario in your mind in which you come out a winner in all the situations in your life, know that you can do it. As Norman Vincent Peale advised: "Visualize yourself as sound, healthy, and filled with the vitality and boundlesss life of your Creator. Look upon yourself as the unique individual that you are.......Affirm peace, wholeness, and good health....and they will be yours.

I visualize myself in Happy and Joyful situations in the future.

Facing Life's Challenges
Amy E. Dean

[cmc]

Sorry your mood is off. I always go back to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired and try to remember that some of those symptoms will naturally change in a day or two and the others I need to do something about.
I hope you feel better soon, until then it helps when I follow cmc's rule #1:
Be nice to self.

[Paulie]

until then it helps when I follow cmc's rule #1:
Be nice to self.

I LOVE that!

[laurie6781]

Karen sweetie you have the "One Year Crazies" going on. Man I was a wreck for weeks!!!! It does pass, honest.

The restlessness, irritability and discontent will pass, honest.

So......................................what to do? When you go to your meetings the next few weeks, look for a 'newcomer.' Someone who has just come in, or someone who has only a few months. Make a point of talking to them, giving them you phone number, just for their insurance (they may never call). This gets you OUT OF YOU.

I have always found that working with another, gets me out of a Funk REAL QUICK!

The crazies do pass and you will be more prepared when the 2 Year Crazies hit next year, lol.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[Rowan]

You're right, Laurie. I worked with someone who was struggling last night, and that helped me enormously. And today I called another newcomer who is struggling and it was really nice to have her open up to me - we are going to a meeting together tomorrow. It really got me out of self, and made me feel like I had some worth and a sense of purpose.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Working hard to come out of the funk..

Paulie, I'm at the end of my fourth. It's taken me a long time to get through. I do know that once I can hand this crap I'm carrying around up I'll feel a ton better. I have pinpointed what started this funk:

In my conversation with A about my outburst she said that I was behaving like I used to when I was drinking. So I"m thinking all this hard work over the past year and I still have those behaviors in me. I guess that I feel defeated.

I did do something nice for A today which made me feel better. So, after I get dinner on the table, I'll take a nice bath and chill.

Thanks for all your thoughts everyone!

[tanyapmc]

I would suggest getting your 5th step done and SOON. The promises start coming after the 9th step. So git er done!'

The promises are for all of us to receive. Like Nike says "Just do it"

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Thanks Tanya,

I am working hard on it. My resentment list was huge and I'm being as thorough as I can be..on Institutions and Principles now which will be done this weekend then I think all I have left is the Sex and Fear inventories.

Wheesh!

[tanyapmc]

Being thorough is important. You will feel so much better when you get all that crap out. It is like a weight was lifted off me.

Happy trudging!

[KERRYZZME]

wow, I really needed to read your post. I feel just like the way you described --you are feeling-- (alot lately) ... I do not know why but I am in a very negative frame of mind. Thank you for sharing how you feel so now I know I am not alone, and now I get to read all the positive replies you have received and apply them to me.

I know this too shall pass... but when??
I will be praying for you and myself.
oh and praying is the only way for me to get centered again.
I wish you well and we are :ghug2 not alone

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Thank you Kerry..you've helped me by posting!

[Paulie]

Well there ya go, the 4th LOL. My sponsor says that 'we live the step we are on'. I too would suggest doing your 5th soon with your sponsor, so you can move on.

Regarding old behaviors, remember we are only human, we make mistakes. I had a long talk with a sponsee yesterday about behavoirs., IMO that is what my disease is, I have been blessed to be clean a while now, so even though I man not use, my disease lives on in my behaviors. Somedays they are not there, somedays they are. Somedays I see before I react, somedays I dont. Recovery is learning and growing every day.

Give yourself a break.

[falloutcity]

hang in there- these kinds of days are hard and everything is harder when you can't sleep well.
(lifetimeinsomniac;0) )
thinking good thoughts for you

falloutcity

[Sheryl85]

I’d go through phases like you described and I’d get so PO’ed at my sponsor because she’d always say the same thing…”This too shall pass.” As if I wanted to hear that and as if that wasn’t bad enough she’d go on and say, “And just remember, when everything is going good…this too shall pass!” Then she’d tell me to go start reading on page 449 (417 to those with the Fourth Edition) of the Big Book. She’d tell me to read it to the end of the Chapter and then let her know what “jumped out” at me. It would aggravate me to the point where I wanted to just knock a fart out of her that would whistle like a southbound freight train.

The good news is that what you are going through isn’t unusual especially regarding where you are in the Steps. Right now you have been looking at a lot of things that aren’t so pleasant to revisit. (Rest assured that you are doing fine and right on time.) Complete your lists and get on to the next thing at hand…one step at a time. And while you are at, try to remember you are doing a moral inventory, not an immoral inventory. (Every one of us have assets as well as defects.) If you’ve been ugly to someone along the way, correct it as soon as the opportunity presents itself. Believe it or not, that will usually clear a bit of the gloom.

Don’t fall victim to H.A.L.T. Eat right. Talk to someone about the anger you feel. Fellowship with others and get some rest. But most importantly, find something to laugh about. Laughter IS some of the best medicine there is so try not to take yourself too serious. It works for me!

Let us know how it's going...

[PaperDolls]

How are you today Karen?

I just recently got out of a grumpy funk. It lasted well over a month. It's certainly no fun.

I hope today is better for you.

[Paulie]

Then she’d tell me to go start reading on page 449 (417 to those with the Fourth Edition) of the Big Book.

OMG I cannot count the times my first sponsor (AA based) told me to read that. I do the steps NA out of the workbook today, but for some of my sponsees I still tell them to read that page!!!!