"Throw The First Tampon..." LOL

[raerae6]

This cracked me up--i can relate totally...


From: The Huffington Post - online

Let She Who Is Without Period Stains Throw The First Tampon

by- Margaret Cho

Posted January 22, 2008 | 03:43 PM (EST)

I just saw a picture online of Britney's period stain and I am horrified. I don't know why they would post a picture of that and I really feel terrible about it. I think that the paparazzi have gone too far. It is just tasteless and barbaric. I am so sorry for Britney and I hope she is ok. The only thing I can think of doing to somehow make it better is to say that this has happened to me about a million times.

I am the worst when it comes to period stains. That is why I never move because my mattress is so so so so stained that whenever I change the sheets it just looks like a murder scene. I'm serious. Somebody should put crime scene 'do not cross' tape up. It's awful! I can't understand any woman who hasn't had some kind of hot menses mess. Those women are weird and probably perfect, and always get a pap smear every six months, and have never had a weight problem or worried about sitting on a white couch - and they are no friends of mine!


Every month my body completely purges everything it has been holding onto. My periods are heavy, long, arduous - old furniture and books and records come out. Gold coins and anchors and treasures and lace and shoes. It's like a big clearance sale. Everything must go! That is just the way that I am built. I am just puzzled at the idea of a pantyliner or a regular tampon. I need to stuff half an emergency room in there every 28 days or I am looking at dying everything I own black. (Here's a hot tip - if you stain something with your own blood, spit on the stain - your saliva has enzymes that will break it down. Unfortunately it has to be your blood and your saliva - you can't do it for anyone else).

When my Aunt Flow comes to visit - the bitch brings presents. All the feminine products I use have "overnight" on the box.
The point here is let she who is without menstrual stains throw the first tampon. Britney is not Carrie and Chris Crocker was right - leave her alone!

[grateful2b]

[PaperDolls]

You know all the boys are clicking on this thread even though it's the women's forum!

LOL!

[ANGELINA243]

[nandm]

It is so sad that our media is so sick and in need of drama that they would treat anyone like that. Instead of leaving the girl alone as she has definatly got some issues they keep on her. I can not imagine the feeling of having the news media taping me being taken out of my home by ambulance after a nervous breakdown/psychotic break or whatever it is she is going through.

I rarely watch the news anymore because I hate to see the dramatic skew they give everything.

[raerae6]

yeah, I can't believe the media. I am not terribly interested in Brittany's life...but I hear about it anyway, and I wish they would give the poor girl a little privacy. If they did, it would probably help her to do whatever she needs to do.

I imagine it must be very hard to become incredibly famous at a young age...look at the toll it has taken on so many...Curt Cobain, Elvis, etc. etc...

I had to laugh when I read the part about the mattress stains...last time I moved i had to ditch my king size bed cuz it wouldn't fit in my new place...I had to bring it out to the dumpster at night cuz...well...ya know...!!!!

no matter how hard I try to keep it clean and stain free....it's just impossible!!! I am so glad to know I am not the only one. I have never heard anyone talk about that before!!!

I love Margaret Cho!!! her live concert videos are hilarious...especially "I'm the One that I Want"....

[Rowan]

That was quite entertaining - and thank goodness I'm not alone with the mattress thing -how embarrassing!

[Nia]

Oh god the mattress.
I got a new bed like a year ago. It looked like I went on a murder spree. I remember sitting there looking at it and being like "oh god don't let anyone come over today." I kinda had a reputation for being crazy and violent back then...
My periods are also insanely heavy, my mom knows this but still takes it upon herself to make me feel bad about it/ yell every time it happens. It's so lame causee it came from her side of the family! Almost all the women on her side are like that. :

[BigSis]

For the first time in a long time, I am glad I still own a waterbed!





Excellent insight, that Margaret Cho.

[Jes23]

Originally Posted by raerae6

(Here's a hot tip - if you stain something with your own blood, spit on the stain - your saliva has enzymes that will break it down. Unfortunately it has to be your blood and your saliva - you can't do it for anyone else).

Wait . . . does this actually work??! If it is true, why was this little bit of helpful information kept from me? And, would it be weird to start spitting on my mattress?

[raerae6]

Originally Posted by Jes23

Wait . . . does this actually work??! If it is true, why was this little bit of helpful information kept from me? And, would it be weird to start spitting on my mattress?

I don't know, you would have to ask margaret cho! Hydrogen peroxide gets blood stains out and I have heard that meat tenderizer does....

[zoomer]

There are plastic covers to put on your bed. You can buy them at any K-mart. Poor Britt, I hate her free loader husband and the judge. She is getting crazy because of the whole thing taking way her babies. I think Britt just has some tough breaks. If it was not a star,the judge would give her more of a chance. I do hope in the long run Britt can get her life together and get her babies back. I'm not a big fan,but I know how selfish men can be when they think they can do better and end up trashing the kid's life.

[indigo]

Thank goodness I had an early menopause lol.