please help

[GailJ]

I want to stop myself before becomining stupidly drunk, New year isn't new at all and same shi9 happening all over again.....

On beer number 6 and still coherent. Hubby counting on me getting out of control. Lot of assets at stake. Little war of the roses.

Trying so hard. Need support to keep me from grabbing another beer..........

Anybody.

[GailJ]

drinking number 7,,,,to sleep.......

No friends here.

[GailJ]

Sorry I know I have friends here.

Out of the blue, didn't expect it

Trying not to trigger PTSD

[Paulie]

IMO you need to reach out in your community for help. You cannot do this alone. Call your local AA hotline and ask for help. It is out there for the taking but YOU and only YOU need to make the choice to stop drinking TODAY!

You are killing yourself, that is the truth. What do you have to lose to just give it a try?

[Surlyredhead]

What's going on Gail......are you able to pour the rest of the beers?

[GailJ]

Sorry to those that don't know me yet. I live rural. I am not in any town.. I do0 not drive and have no way to town. No AA no therapists, docs, psychs, just you here.

Sorry no pressure I,ve done well. Just under so much adversity

Hard to stay moral and progressive.

[GailJ]

As today's mascara runs down my cheeks.

[Jes23]

Hey Gail. I am Jes. I have read some of your posts and they speak to me. I think we might have some of the same issues.

I am sorry that you are going through a difficult time. I will think about you tonight and hope for the best. Put down the beer and do something else! Anything but driving! Mabe clean the kitchen?! I know mine always needs cleaning.... Maybe pet/groom one of your pets (you have them right?)

hugs to you gail

[Surlyredhead]

Gail, I know things are hard, but you know that drinking will only make them so much worse...please pour out the beer now!!!

[nandm]

Gail, we would love for you to join us in the chat room meetings. you might find them useful in helping you gain the tools to stop the self destruction of drinking. I have read many of your posts since arriving here at SR and truly believe that you have some wonderul qualities and experience. You have been a help to me. There is a chat room meeting schedule listed under the chat section of the forum. Please consider reaching out during one of those times and joining us there. It is unfortunate you are in an isolated area right now but you are not alone and through the internet forum you don't have to be alone or isolated. You can stop the destruction of drinking. We are all here to help each other. Hang in there because there is a solution.
Judith

[51anna]

Gail,

You can make a good start by getting rid of the beer and not buying anymore. That way the temptation isn't there when you're feeling down.

Make one small change in your life and other things will change too.

[nandm]

Originally Posted by 51anna

Gail,

You can make a good start by getting rid of the beer and not buying anymore. That way the temptation isn't there when you're feeling down.

Make one small change in your life and other things will change too.

Excellent suggestion....thank you Anna.

That is what I love about this forum. It reminds me of the saying "it takes a village to raise a child." Here "it takes a village of recovering people to help raise one wanting to find recovery."

[51anna]

Oh Nan, that is so true.

I think it's especially true in the Women's forum. Before I was in recovery, I didn't have any women friends I could really talk to, but things have changed so much.

Though our struggles are often specific to each of us, we are all on the same road together.

[Spiritual Seeker]

Pray for the lifting of negativity and for hope. Repeat over and over in your prayers:
"I will not drink today, I will not drug today and I will not commit suicide today"
There is always a way. Be open to the miracle
Each and every day keep it simple and clear to stay away from the terrible dark path.
Take care of yourself Gail.

[lovingseren]

Hi Gail,
what helped me was to post for support "before" I picked up that first drink.
What also helped was to make a list of things I could do instead of drinking, eating protein and carbs was very helpful in dealing with cravings.
I found keeping myself busy was key, cleaning out the fridge, keeping a journal, looking at my feelings and asking myself what was bothering me, asking myself what I could do about it.
Being proactive in my choices, thinking and attitude....realising I had total choice was huge!
I didn't buy booze, that was step one.
I know this is tough, we have all been there, but you can do this.

Seren

[rosesarered]

Hi Gail, I read your post and I am in the same place, different day. I have been sneaking wine behind my husbands back. He caught me in Novenber. Thru me out and told me I couldnt see my 4 year old daughter until I got help. I love her dearly I came back stayed sober for 4 days and here i am again. I have to stop!!!!!! I can lose everything and yet I go to the store and buy more. The hangovers, the lost nights, yet I do it again.
Janie

[Lily]

Gail,

How are you? How are things going for you? I can soooo relate to you, I live out in the middle of nowhere too. I have 5 days clean today and I hope you are okay. Keep posting girl! Sheila

[indigo]

Gail how are you doing? Maybe you have a sympathetic Doctor you can talk with, please keep posting and maybe if you poured the beer away it won't be that easy to go and get more if you are living rurally. Hugs and positive thoughts coming your way.

[CarolD]

rosesarered ....

Have you considered using a
recovery program for live support?

Welcome to SR!

[GailJ]

Hi just an update, I havn't drank since that day. I attended the program for getting my liscense back yesterday but still must wait six months more for an approval to have my liscense reinstated. I do appreciate all the feedback, very embarrassed about the temporary setback but still trying. The program did help in understanding alcohol a whole lot better. I am not craving as I was so thats a step. It always seems that pms time and full moons bring out the cravings more. Hubby is being good again so thats a big step. I wish I could get some active support here but it trully is quite impossible for me. I am doing alright. Thanks again guys. Think I'll get back into reading my Life after trauma book and am thinking of enrolling in online College in April. At least I have a time frame now to save money for the vehicle expenses and college course now.
I see the triggers and still am learning all the time to do different things when the triggers hit, there's a lot of them, so still taking it a day at a time.
I know all the support in the world can't stop me from grabbing that beer, that it is entirely up to me.. Yet still I definately don't feel alone anymore as I used to and it is getting easier to say no. I can thank all of you here for a lot of that. I hope I can be more positive, strong and helpfull for all of you here too.
I am not online as much anymore so you won't here from me as often but I will always check back and let you all know how I am doing.

[indigo]

Great news, I will look forward to your posts when you are able to.

[Paulie]

I see the triggers and still am learning all the time to do different things when the triggers hit, there's a lot of them, so still taking it a day at a time.

That is how it is done, one day at a time