dad in hospital....

[LettingGo]

Well my dad is in the intensive care unit. He has drank destructivley for a numer of years. The doctors told him probably 4 or 5 years ago that if he did not stay sober that the alchohol would kill him. He has had siezures before on alchohol as well. He went to the hospital the other night because he was throwing up blood and could not keep a drink down, as well as he is really yellow. I haven't seen him because he is in Oregon and I live in Utah. I guess they told him again that if he keeps drinking it will kill him in under 3 years, but if he stopped he could live another 20 years. I am in recovery myself, so I have no right to judge but you would think that in the face of death you would at least try to stop! It is almost like he is trying to kill himself. The sad thing is my dad has two boys from his second marriage. The oldest is 17 but the youngest is only 3. It is likely that he will grow up without a father! I just cannot believe it. I feel bad too because my father and I have not been close for years. I see him once every couple of years or so, but really no relationship. His drinking just makes me sick...... so I cannot be around him much. Anyways, I feel bad because all of this is going on and I am really not all that sad. That sounds awful I know, but it is true! I am afraid he will die and I just wont be sad at all! Does this make any sense! Oh well, I just dont know how to feel here I guess. I dont know if I should go to Oregon and see him or not. I don't think time is on our side here, but I also feel like if I am going to be an emotional brick, which I am not doing on purpose, then why go? Well, thanks for letting me talk here.

LG

[2stop]

{{LETTINGGO}}

I am so sorry to hear you going through a rough time. I can definitely relate to the not feeling sad, I should, right? It's hard to trust our feelings sometimes. I just want to encourage you to stay strong in YOUR recovery and I am sending lots and lots of
{{{{HUGS}}}} your way!! If you need me...I am here.

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

[SkyIsFalling42]

LettingGo
I know this is so hard for you to watch. I think that that is why it is called a disease..it just is so hard to overcome without God I think. I have thought about this alot...the people who drink to are addicted to drugs are hurting themselves above and foremost, along with anyone who loves or cares about them. They all know this, but keep on doing it. The guilt must be awful for them, which adds to the problem. How can we ask that they do anything for us, when they cannot do anything for themselves?? It is all so sad and useless, the lives without God that this destroys. Im rambling my opinions here sorry
Your feelings are just your feelings, its ok to let yourself feel them.
You are in my thoughts.

Love in spirit
Sky