where are the people with time?

[prairierose]

Hi all,

I have some time (7 years by the grace of God) and have worked my alcoholic a$$ off in AA, plus therapy and other work on my personal growth. Lately I feel like I'm just not getting much from meetings. I sponsor women and love working with them and guiding them in their growth, but I just don't feel revitalized by meetings like I used to. I've tried different meetings and whatnot and practice my program in my own ways, but it's been a long time since I've heard something that hit me or felt enlightened by a meeting. Basically I love being of service, but I don't feel like I'm getting much out of meetings other than the opportunity to be of service.

I've also noticed that I'm practically an old timer at most of the meetings I go to, even though I do have enough humility (although more is always needed) to realize I'm far from being an old timer.

I guess I wish there were more people with long term sobriety (5+ years) that I could talk to and find out if this is a normal lull or what. 7 year itch maybe?

Anyway, just wondering if any women with time out there have words of wisdom to pass on.

Thanks for reading,

Virginia

[Digginit]

I obviously have NO good words of wisdom to offer you. But I do want to say this. I once had 12 years clean. One really good screw-up can set you back more than you can imagine. It doesn't sound like you're toes-up-to-the-edge, but your post struck me. Amazing how little distance there REALLY is between there and here.

Peace~
dig

[CarolD]

I have been going to AA 23 years
sober for 18.
I usually do 3 or 4 meetings a week all
with my home group because of my limitations.
In the 9 years I've been here I do get Ho Hum.

I have found my recovery ebbs if I am not vigilant.

I have been using cyber recovery as an interesting
supplement PalTalk was a favorite of mine for meetings
on line. SR keeps me grateful and busy.

I have no intention of losing contact with God or AA.
I also do community service work for balance.
These days it involves our Senior Center.

I do hope you will continue to share with us.

[laurie6781]

where are the people with time?

I believe that because the AA program is really all about getting on with the business of LIVING SOBER that many oldtimers, myself included, start attending less meetings.

I remember one particularly 'harsh' (I thought at the time) oldtimer when I came in that used to say "you may be the only example of a Big Book that someone ever sees, so make damn sure it is a true and accurate copy."

I do more of my service work on line these days and long distance as my disabilities sometimes prevent me from getting to a meeting. I still work with others.

When the 'ho-hums' hit me, and yes at about 7 years, my sponsor suggested I take a break. Find a hobby, do something (but not drink, lol) instead of the 6 to 9 meetings I was attending a week. Well hell, that sounded great, except I got real bored real quick, was not used to watching TV in the evening, lol, so ...................started back to just a couple of meetings a week and went and did volunteer work at the animal shelter and at a nursing home nearby, visiting folks who no longer got any visitors. WOW was that an eye opener and I learned so much from my new found friends.

Through those experiences I learned that 'being of service' didn't necessarily mean in AA. I have cooked and served at the 'local rescue mission' many times and not just on holidays, I have spent many a New Years Eve, sitting in the 'Bat Mobile' at a sobriety checkpoint, doing the paper work on the DUI's (yeah me a former drunk, doing DUI paperwork, the irony to this day makes me laugh long and hard, but oh what fun it was).

I have had more chances of 'carrying the message' out there in everyday living over these last 26+ years than I ever would have had going to the meetings.

I can no longer count the number of times when I have been asked why I don't drink and my simple explanation of "I am an alcoholic" has led to more questions, and requests for help.

Hugh D, a recovering alcoholic and husband of my sponsor, often said "we (AA) teach you how to Live Sober and then we send you out in that big world to carry the message." I believe to this day he was correct. The place that I really see 'oldtimers' these days is at Conventions and Roundups.

Oh I still get to a meeting now and then, usually to 'fill back up' and then go 'carry the message' some more. Also to let them know I am still alive and kicking, roflmao.

I am not making light of your thread, in case it sounds that way, but I believe that many who stay sober do get on with the business of Living Life Sober. The obsession has been lifted. A faith and trust in an HP is strong, and Life, ie family, children, grandchildren, births, deaths, marriages etc is calling.

I personally did not get sober to spend the rest of my life in AA meetings. I wanted a life. My family, my friends, and even my close neighbors know I am sober and can ask questions anytime they want, and they do. Several neighbors have come to me with problems in their families and I have been able to suggest Al-anon for them and let them know that when the family member was ready and asked for help I would be more than happy to talk with him or her.

Maybe it's time for you to step back a bit from meetings, give yourself a break. Start a 'girl's night' with your sponsees and go bowling, or read an 'Oprah' book, or go to a play or concert, etc spend more time with your family, go to a 'children's ward' at a nearby hospital, check out a nursing home near you and ask the head nurse who in the home no longer gets visitors, all sorts of things you can do, and before long, those meetings will again be interesting.

J M H O based on my own ES&H

Love and hugs,

[Paulie]

I dont have much more to add except to thank you for your post. I have been blessed to be sober for over 12 years now. I have had a few times where I felt like you feel right now. I do both programs NA/AA....I am definately an OLD TIMER in my NA fellowship in my town. But the AA fellowship in my town if full of OLD TIMERS lol.

I want to thank you for your post, once again it reminds me I am not alone, not unigue. And that helps keep me sober one more day.

One more thing. IMO when I do get kinda feeling like you are, step work is always a good thing for me to do. I have had that itch a few times, and if I am not currently working on my steps, it is time for me to start again.
I am a book thumper LOL

[51anna]

Hi PrairieRose,

I have just over 7 years sober and I am not an AA person.

I don't have a 7 year itch, thank goodness, but I do know there is still a lot to learn and I'm still learning to open to what comes my way.

[mae164]

In talking with a lot of people who have been around for a long time, and myslef who could not get much from meeting after a short period of time (so bless you that it has lasted that long) but people go to meetings to get something from them to feel inspired and that is not what you should be there for Try carrying a meeting to a detox place or hospital instead with the 12 stepit says CARRY THIS MESSAGE TO OTHER go carry it to the suffering instead of sitting in a meeting waiting for insperation- it is amazing cause you are there to explain why those people can not stop and what AA is all about and the hope from working the steps.... so much more beneficial than a meeting any day! People get reliante on meeting for there soberity and eventually do go back out-( i have talked to numerous that have) a meeting is to help newcommers and oldtimers to find people to take through the steps good luck

[Fluttering]

Hi Virginia

By the Grace of God next week I will be celebrating 22 years being clean and sober. I too have felt that itch and like Paulie said...it was those times I needed more step work.

i am reminded of the phrase in the Big Book that says ...."All we really have is a daily reprieve based on our Spiritual Condition" For me, that means each and every day I must work on my spiritual condition. I too have been one to repeat the phrase.."you may be the only Big Book others may read..So make sure it is an accurate copy"

in our book on pages 86-88 is the 24 hour plan whicjh tells me what I have to do each day to keep that daily reprieve and keep the itch away. lauries suggestions of volunteer work is also an excellant way in which I have treated that itch.
I left AA and NA for a period of 5 years tho i did not drink or use as a result of the itch and I can tell you my thinking and behaviors very quickly reverted to old stuff. My sponosr told me the program is one of repitition for that reason ...my thinki\er is still broke and the committee members in my head want to convince me I am all well and wonderful..it is the meetings that remind me of the importance of the basics. My sponosr also told me that if I didn't go to meetings asd make the newbies feel welcome they would have no opportunity to get to know my ESH and it was like a slap to the one who kept me alive long enough to find recovery.

You are not unique in the way you feel. i found also that when I was feeling bored and felt I was not getting anythin out of the meetings that I needed more time in prayer and meditaion to enhance my spiritual growth.

Thank You for sharinmg and posting.. I rfeally appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing the not so positive feelings.

I am in the process of doing my yearly inventory that I always do at anniversary time and your sharing helps me to get to a deeper level of willingness within me.

I, too, hope you keep posting

[Surlyredhead]

I don't suppose I would consider myself an "Old Timer" however, I will celebrate 14 years sober in the Spring. I suppose my situation is a little different, I became pregnant with one year sober, I am a single parent, in the beginning, it was so hectic, I didn't really have time to slow down. In these years, I have made meetings and keep in touch with my AA/NA friends on a daily basis......they have saved me more than once, and I think that I may have helped them on occasion too!!!! I was also told in the beginning, that it was important that AA/NA not be my one-and-only reason to live, I have learned to incorporate recovery in my everyday life and spread the success of the program at the same time. I think my Son knows every recovering person in Detroit through meetings and dances...he has even attended a DACNA convention.....sadly, he has seen people die or go to jail too, to many don't make it.....and they help me stay sober too.


Cathy