dump the lover???

[ShelbieNameless]

have been divorced almost exactly one year now...started drinking around divorce-time to "smooth the frayed ends". met a guy at work, started going out after work (to a bar; that's all that was open at that hour) and haven't stopped since. he says i am incredibly sexy when i drink, which makes me drink more than i otherwise would. to the point now where i'm drinking 4-6 times a week for sex....how messed up is that?!?! when i'm sober, we fight like cats and dogs!

[1_day@_a_time]

Shelbie, I am just completing a divorce after 21+ yrs. I stopped drinking in May, 2001, when it all was getting stupid. (Mainly me) Now, even coming from a guy, this "incredibly sexy when i drink" stuff is, well, quite THE line,...........no, better yet, it's B*LL$H*T. Yes, it's VERY lonely times after 20 yrs. And yes, some lovin and sex can be great. Can be...........but if you are starting to drink as much as you say, (just for him) and you fight like cats and dogs when sober, sure sounds like it's time to move along. To answer your question, "how messed up is that?!?!...well, it's BIG time messed up. You must be a better person than that..................RIGHT? ? ? ? Let me know if you are, realizing your self esteem just may be shot right now (at least mine is) .....T C no more of this>>>>> :argue: K? >>>>Have a glass of water, LOL<<<<<

[2stop]

You must not allow this @$#%^^& to mess with your mind any further. This is a very dangerous path, both physically and emotionally. I have experienced some devastating traumas because of the exact situation you write of. I still carry the scars. Please walk away. You don't have to look back, you CAN be free. Decide right now in this moment, "I am too precious, and beautiful and WORTHY to allow a man, or even drink to try and take me down to the depths of hell...and that is exactly where this path leads..I'm sorry I don't mean to offend you, I am really pasionate about this, some of the things I have been through with drinking/drugs and men are nightmares to this day for me, Today you stand up for your life! Today you say to yourself I am a miracle, I am a woman who deserves the very best life has to offer and I will not take anymore "degrading" deals. I am going to pursue health and energy and emotional balance...You can choose to do this right now in this moment, and we are all here, pulling for you, caring for your struggle and ready to assist you in any way possible. Please, take our hand walk in recovery. You are so worth it!

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

[myles1]

Dump the moron yes dump him. I've never heard that line "you are sexy when you drink" .

Time to take care of you and forget him. you deserve better. Really being alone isn't all that bad in fact it can be be right down enjoyable.

Ngaire

[littlejemjem]

I dont get it. Does he say you are sexy when you are drinking (you look sexy with that drink in your hand) or does he say you're sexy while you are drinking (while sipping your martini glass he mentions it)??? Either way it's preposterous! "Gee hun, you look great with that needle hanging out of your arm"-WHATEVER! Get rid of him! And he works with you, BUMMER! I guess that's why they say dont date the men/women you work with, b/c when it comes time to dump them it gets tough.
NO WOMAN (or man) should ever feel they have to get drunk for sex. By him doing that he's not helping you at all and only creeping you closer to addiction. Tred lightly here sister!
-Jem