I am more than my disease...

[1963comet]

I believe that we are people to. I know people that have not been in my shoes find it hard to understand addiction.

So, it made me stop and think about myself.

1. I have feelings just like everyone else.
2. I love movies, rideing down a dirt road, old cars, having pets, cooking, shopping, working out in the yard.
3. I worry about my kid, paying the bills, and roadrage like everyone else.

I am not just my addiction

[51anna]

That is a huge thing to remember Teresa.

I am a wife, mother, friend, volunteer worker. Alcoholism is a part of me, like many other things. There was a time, in early sobriety, that the label overwhelmed me and I felt beaten down by it. But, that changed quickly and I learned that there is so much more about me and about my life.

[Spiritual Seeker]

"I know people that have not been in my shoes find it hard to understand addiction"
As a non-addict I can confirm that you are absolutely right on that statement.
As much as I read, attend open AA mtgs. , live with my AS, I will never understand addiction.

[CarolD]

One of our male members has this for his tag line

"Yes..I am an addict but that's not all I am"

I have long ago quit trying to make non alcoholics
understand alcoholism.
It never worked and I could better spend the time
helping alcoholics with their recovery.

The only time I think of my alcoholism/recovery
is when I am sharing with others.

It's odd this subject came up.
At our Senior Center Thanksgiving luncheon today
we were ask to update our membership card info

They had a myrid of activities listed so as to plan
for next year. I checked all of them except the
ones that would make me sweat!

Let's hear it for the new improved version
of ourselves recovery brings!

[Ann]

Underneath it, we're humans; first. We were born, people first, who got sick afterward, without knowing it, without being asked.

An addict is what I am; not who I am.

I stole this from another thread of Doug's and brought it here because it just fits with this thread, and also it's something I strongly believe about my son, lost in his addiction somewhere.

Hugs

[indigo]

Thank you Ann, one to keep.

[butterflyby]

Originally Posted by 51anna

That is a huge thing to remember Teresa.

I am a wife, mother, friend, volunteer worker. Alcoholism is a part of me, like many other things. There was a time, in early sobriety, that the label overwhelmed me and I felt beaten down by it. But, that changed quickly and I learned that there is so much more about me and about my life.

thank you Anna! this is how i feel....day 2....how did i get here, how am I an alcoholic? i do feel beaten down by it, i do feel ashamed of it, i do feel like i'd rather not admit it, i do feel terrified of it. thanks for the reminder that "it" is not all.

[Paulie]

Great thread!!!

I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle......he says 'we are not our story'!!! that is so true. I love that and I understand it. But...yes here comes the but, for me, the addict that I am, I have to remember before anything else that I am an addict, if I forget that my life becomes unmanageable. And I dont mean that I will use, I mean that the addictive behaviours of my disease manifest themselves in others ways than using drugs. It is not about using it is about the behaviours for me today.

So, for me there is a fine line that I try and walk each day. For me the task is living my life daily remembering that I am not just an addict....I am also, a wife, a friend, a woman who runs her own business, a productive member of society, an animal lover, a sister, a neighbor etc. etc......all those things make up who I am. But I have to remember that I am an addict first.

Does that make sense?

[1963comet]

Thank you Ann

That made my day today. I just started to get involved with AA.

I have been sober for seven years in Dec. I cannot even remember what day it was. I did not drink for two years but smoked pot. Then in Dec I had a very strong drink. So, That is my quit month.

There was so many times I was forced into AA. A year ago I went again to give AA another shot. I just found it to be so negative. Your scared, This is the only way, You can't do it by yourself ect.

I worked so hard my first two years of sobrity. I faced and delt with my past. I worked with a cousler for two years. I said to her that I could not live that life anymore. It was hard work. And I am sober today because of her.

To be honest a lawyer suggested I go to help with getting my license back. I want to fit in because I feel I can offer a lot because of what I have went through. It was encouragement that give me the strength and not the put downs. And no I was not looking for an easer softer way. It was hard work.

Thank you Ann

[Paulie]

And no I was not looking for an easer softer way. It was hard work.

It is very hard work and that is why we ALL need to remember to be proud of ourselves each morning we wake up and each night when we put our head back down on our pillow sober!

[Digginit]

It has taken me a long time to even read this thread. It strikes a real nerve with me. Today's probably the worst of all possible days for me to reply though. Just trying to keep breathing at this point. I was so much more before. Today I feel like next to nothing. Wish I could just snap my fingers and disappear. It's the disease. Today I AM the disease, and I'd like to be so much more. Ugh.

[Paulie]

IMO you are aware of what you feel, today you feel like the disease, it sucks but it is okay because you are aware. I feel that the danger happens when we feel like the disease but we are not aware of it...I have been there.

Just keep breathing and take it one baby step at a time today, one minute at a time if you have to......stay in the moment.