i am so angry - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Giselle · 06-04-2003, 11:17 AM

i want to make my 90 and 90. so i started going to meetings. i went to a meeting monday and tuesday. last night when i get home i tell my boyfriend, im gonna make another meeting tomorrow. here he goes oh you gonna be doing this **** everyday. i told him listen dont even go there. i need to do this in order to stay clean. its something positive. but i think its too hard trying to stay clean and have to explain myself to this fool at the same time. i dont have the energy to explain the program to him when i barely understand myself. im just so tired that im going on blind faith. because nothing else that i tried to stay clean ever works. now here come this fool trying to make my life harder. they say keep it simple, but is anything ever simple? or is it just me? HELP.

SkyIsFalling42 · 06-04-2003, 12:24 PM

Giselle
Just wanted to say that I commend you for sticking to your guns and continuing to do what is in your best interests. Many of us were not taken care of in many different ways as children. As silly as it may sound, we need to learn to take care of ourselves. I am very sorry that you are in this kind of relationship. My personal opinion for myself is that having no immediate support is better than having negative support.
Im rooting for you girl, and I hope that in some way this gets better for you.

Love in spirit
Sky

2stop · 06-04-2003, 12:32 PM

I know how our s/o can really make it hard to continue with our sobriety. I think they get to where they don't know what to believe with us. I informed my husband last week that he couldn't handle me sober and getting my life on track..he had no more excuses for his own miserable problems! LOL!! All is well now, he really has been very patient with me...but they just can't seem to keep it simple for us! Hang in there, it'll get easier with time.

Many hugs and hope too,
Tammie

Paulie · 06-04-2003, 02:39 PM

Hi and welcome -

ditto to what the other ladies have said. Listen, you don't have to explain it to him, this is about you, not him. Take care of you first. And don't try to figure it out all in one day, it will come, I promise. Doing 90 in 90 is awesome, keep up the great work!!!

We have to take care of ourselves!!!

And yes, it will get easier, I promise

xmethead · 06-04-2003, 03:30 PM

don't that sound familiar...i was called a hypocrite when i stopped using meth....needless 2 say...i don't have but 1 true friend .this is your call...not his...take tha road less traveled n try being clean....n as 4 ur man....well...if hes discouraged because u busy yourself with meetings...i tell u...dump him...obviously hes not really concerned with what u need...been there...support meetings r tha key 2 staying clean..maybe u should invite him along once?jus an idea...don't let a man keep u from bettering yourself n trying 2 get clean...it's your decision...n it's a VERY important one.you show great maturity on your efforts...DO NOT give up.

Juls · 06-05-2003, 03:50 AM

Giselle,

One thing I know is that frequently when we start to change the person that we're involved with starts to feel insecure, thus challenging us on what we're doing. The reason is because our behavior is not predictable anymore, and they don't know what to expect. I agree with the others to take care of yourself first, but he also may need some time to adjust to the "new you," so-to-speak. Your statement about taking things on blind faith at this point in time is good, at least for this recovery program. Right now you don't know what to expect either. Being able to trust in others that have gone before you, and believe that it will work for you by using the same formula and following suggestions will really help you in your recovery.

Juls

Giselle · 06-05-2003, 11:56 AM

i want to say thanks to everyone for the support. i feel so much better today. you know i got to thinking i used to go and get high no matter what he said, so im gonna do my meetings just the same: no matter what he says! i know he'll get over it and probably would like me better too. well thanks, ladies.

Paulie · 06-05-2003, 12:15 PM

You know what my friend...you will like you better too!!!
have a great day!

xmethead · 06-06-2003, 02:45 PM

i just got a lil shiver....you made a very good point...niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
respect yourself always...no matter what.let us know how things go...

Chy · 06-06-2003, 06:43 PM

Hey G! You go girl! Stay strong and stick to your program as you see fit. Tell him if he don't like what he sees to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out!

YOU come first!

06-04-2003, 11:17 AM	#1 (permalink)
Giselle Paused Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bronx NY Posts: 3	i am so angry i want to make my 90 and 90. so i started going to meetings. i went to a meeting monday and tuesday. last night when i get home i tell my boyfriend, im gonna make another meeting tomorrow. here he goes oh you gonna be doing this **** everyday. i told him listen dont even go there. i need to do this in order to stay clean. its something positive. but i think its too hard trying to stay clean and have to explain myself to this fool at the same time. i dont have the energy to explain the program to him when i barely understand myself. im just so tired that im going on blind faith. because nothing else that i tried to stay clean ever works. now here come this fool trying to make my life harder. they say keep it simple, but is anything ever simple? or is it just me? HELP.

06-04-2003, 12:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
SkyIsFalling42 Big kitty nose hugs Join Date: May 2003 Location: Center of The World Posts: 1,261	Giselle Just wanted to say that I commend you for sticking to your guns and continuing to do what is in your best interests. Many of us were not taken care of in many different ways as children. As silly as it may sound, we need to learn to take care of ourselves. I am very sorry that you are in this kind of relationship. My personal opinion for myself is that having no immediate support is better than having negative support. Im rooting for you girl, and I hope that in some way this gets better for you. Love in spirit Sky __________________ Love In Spirit, Sky Where my heart is....... http://Writing.Com/authors/skyisfalling02 "Never Give In, Never Give In, Never Give In, Never, Never, Never." ~~Sir Winston Churchill~~

06-04-2003, 02:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,525	Hi and welcome - ditto to what the other ladies have said. Listen, you don't have to explain it to him, this is about you, not him. Take care of you first. And don't try to figure it out all in one day, it will come, I promise. Doing 90 in 90 is awesome, keep up the great work!!! We have to take care of ourselves!!! And yes, it will get easier, I promise __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

06-04-2003, 03:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
xmethead Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: nc Posts: 22	o man... don't that sound familiar...i was called a hypocrite when i stopped using meth....needless 2 say...i don't have but 1 true friend .this is your call...not his...take tha road less traveled n try being clean....n as 4 ur man....well...if hes discouraged because u busy yourself with meetings...i tell u...dump him...obviously hes not really concerned with what u need...been there...support meetings r tha key 2 staying clean..maybe u should invite him along once?jus an idea...don't let a man keep u from bettering yourself n trying 2 get clean...it's your decision...n it's a VERY important one.you show great maturity on your efforts...DO NOT give up. __________________ we r tha X metheads...we made quitting cool.

06-05-2003, 11:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
Giselle Paused Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bronx NY Posts: 3	thank you i want to say thanks to everyone for the support. i feel so much better today. you know i got to thinking i used to go and get high no matter what he said, so im gonna do my meetings just the same: no matter what he says! i know he'll get over it and probably would like me better too. well thanks, ladies.

06-04-2003, 12:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
2stop ~Author of My Life~ Join Date: May 2003 Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't.... Posts: 4,666	I know how our s/o can really make it hard to continue with our sobriety. I think they get to where they don't know what to believe with us. I informed my husband last week that he couldn't handle me sober and getting my life on track..he had no more excuses for his own miserable problems! LOL!! All is well now, he really has been very patient with me...but they just can't seem to keep it simple for us! Hang in there, it'll get easier with time. Many hugs and hope too, Tammie

06-05-2003, 03:50 AM	#6 (permalink)
Juls Member Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: California, USA Posts: 1,101	Giselle, One thing I know is that frequently when we start to change the person that we're involved with starts to feel insecure, thus challenging us on what we're doing. The reason is because our behavior is not predictable anymore, and they don't know what to expect. I agree with the others to take care of yourself first, but he also may need some time to adjust to the "new you," so-to-speak. Your statement about taking things on blind faith at this point in time is good, at least for this recovery program. Right now you don't know what to expect either. Being able to trust in others that have gone before you, and believe that it will work for you by using the same formula and following suggestions will really help you in your recovery. Juls

06-05-2003, 12:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,525	You know what my friend...you will like you better too!!! have a great day! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

06-06-2003, 02:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
xmethead Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: nc Posts: 22	oooooOOOOOOoooooo..... i just got a lil shiver....you made a very good point...niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. respect yourself always...no matter what.let us know how things go... __________________ we r tha X metheads...we made quitting cool.

06-06-2003, 06:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,886	Hey G! You go girl! Stay strong and stick to your program as you see fit. Tell him if he don't like what he sees to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out! YOU come first!

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