Very scared, totally screwed - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 04:46 AM

No apartment, fell through ast night, have to work and no way there. I hour, found out exactly why II am agorophobic. Had enough will stay agorophobic frever.

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 04:55 AM

gotta be some way to be delivered from this hell on earth

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 04:58 AM

they win i lose

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 04:59 AM

this is no panck attack

juliee · 09-26-2007, 05:03 AM

Hang in there Gail! One thing you can always count on is change. This too shall pass.
Hugs and prayers going your way! Julie

***indigo*** · 09-26-2007, 05:24 AM

Gail please try to breathe through the panic it will go away, sending out calming thoughts to you, hang on in there, there is nothing worse than fear itself, you can do it ....I am holding your hand you are safe.

indie

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 05:24 AM

god damn it can't stop crying. gotta get out now.....

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 05:28 AM

this is not panick, no p doc, no hubby, no family, no friends except here, i can't take any more abuse, please understand, i am done and know for sure there is only one way out.

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 05:33 AM

I wish oh how i wish it could pass. it is all outside attacking me,

juliee · 09-26-2007, 05:43 AM

Gail please go to the hospital if you are feeling suicidal. Get some help to get throught this very difficult time. There is always another choice...you just have to look really hard sometimes to find it. Keep us posted...you DO have friends here!!!

Digginit · 09-26-2007, 06:08 AM

I know that quotes can be so corny, but the one that I've been trying to remind myself of lately, and that does seem to help me feel not so out of control, is this

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however."

When I feel out of control, which I obviously recently have felt a lot, I'm not focused on the right things.

hippyhippy · 09-26-2007, 01:18 PM

hey hun,

so sorry things have turned bad. I missd this on the other thread.
You can get over this hun, believe it.

Hippy
xxx

GailJ · 09-26-2007, 04:48 PM

finally got a hold of p-doc, taxi driver gave me a line on another apartment and showed it to me on the way to the pharmacy. Hope I can get it, met the building owner and gave him my number. He owns quite a few units in town. Will call him again tonight. Think the bank can give me a letter of good credit rating. Work on that next week. I thought about going to the hospital but p-doc has doubled my effexors so hopefully in a week or so I will be feeling better depression wize. Also gave me more seroquels to help me sleep. I am not suicidal trully just in very deep depession. Last night hubby flipped on me on way home from work, I took a cab to town and ended up at bar and tryed to go to a friends for a safe place to stay for night. There were heavy thunder storms and friends hubby started verbally abusing me in defense of my hubby. I was hopeless in defending myfelf from the insults and ended up being thrown out crying into he rain. This was the person who was going to rent me the apartment. I told him to shove it the sun don't shine. Called a cab to come home a 2 in the morning and as soon as I walked in he door hubby left the house. I couldn't go into work today cause I looked so terrible and I was too weak with exhaustion. I told them it was a personal emergency. Hope I don't get in trouble over it. Will go to sleep early.

Pol · 09-27-2007, 10:39 AM

Thinking of you Gail and praying for you.

Fluttering · 09-27-2007, 12:21 PM

gail

Sewndingout many ernest prayers for you

You are stronger than you know...
please hang in there..The tough spots do pass and domake us stronger

Mnay hugs going your way.

Love and peace

**51anna** · 09-27-2007, 04:01 PM

Gail,

If the apartment isn't available immediately, can you go to a Shelter. I am sure there is one somewhere in your area and you will be safe there and the people will help you to move forward with your life.

Please seek refuge and take care of yourself.

**51anna** · 09-27-2007, 04:05 PM

Gail here is information on the Women's Shelter in your area:

The Women's Centre (Grey & Bruce) Inc.
A non-profit community-based agency which offers support services to women and their children in crisis including: safe shelter, short-term affordable housing, transportation, counselling, information services and advocacy.
Crisis line 519-371-1600
Web site: http://www.bmts.com/~womenscentre/index.htm
Phone #: (519) 376-0755

GailJ · 09-27-2007, 05:06 PM

Thankyou Anna that shelter is 40minutes drive and far away from work plus it is full so they would send me to another shelter 3hrs drive away. I have had fights with docs and hospital and even tried to get our company CEO (Butterball Turkeys) to fund one for our town. No I can't go that far away. I will not lose my job or run away in panic. p doc has doubled my meds and I am off work to focus on getting into the apartment. Am settling down staying home, not answering the phone calls and keeping doors locked if I feel threatened in any way whether it is hubby or any of his fiends. Am safe for now, it's more emotional abuse than anything else. Hubby has seen how ill I am over it all and can't deny, especially when everyone else at work has seen it too today. A dizzy headed bowl of jello from the side effects of doubling up on mes and the anx.
Will rest, apartment hunt while he is at work. Next week. I need to gather myself some strength to go back out again. Thank you all for being here for me.

09-26-2007, 04:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	Very scared, totally screwed No apartment, fell through ast night, have to work and no way there. I hour, found out exactly why II am agorophobic. Had enough will stay agorophobic frever. __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 04:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	gotta be some way to be delivered from this hell on earth __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 04:58 AM	#3 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	they win i lose __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 04:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	this is no panck attack __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 05:03 AM	#5 (permalink)
juliee Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Alive Posts: 168	Hang in there Gail! One thing you can always count on is change. This too shall pass. Hugs and prayers going your way! Julie __________________ Try and keep it simple or you'll go nuts!

09-26-2007, 05:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
*indigo* Community Greeter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Mid-Life Express Posts: 9,146	Gail please try to breathe through the panic it will go away, sending out calming thoughts to you, hang on in there, there is nothing worse than fear itself, you can do it ....I am holding your hand you are safe. indie __________________ When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself." Namasté

09-26-2007, 05:24 AM	#7 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	god damn it can't stop crying. gotta get out now..... __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 05:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	this is not panick, no p doc, no hubby, no family, no friends except here, i can't take any more abuse, please understand, i am done and know for sure there is only one way out. __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 05:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	I wish oh how i wish it could pass. it is all outside attacking me, __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-26-2007, 05:43 AM	#10 (permalink)
juliee Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Alive Posts: 168	Gail please go to the hospital if you are feeling suicidal. Get some help to get throught this very difficult time. There is always another choice...you just have to look really hard sometimes to find it. Keep us posted...you DO have friends here!!! __________________ Try and keep it simple or you'll go nuts!

09-26-2007, 06:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
Digginit Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: usa Posts: 447	I know that quotes can be so corny, but the one that I've been trying to remind myself of lately, and that does seem to help me feel not so out of control, is this "You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however." When I feel out of control, which I obviously recently have felt a lot, I'm not focused on the right things. __________________ -- There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. We seek problems because we need their gifts.

09-26-2007, 01:18 PM	#12 (permalink)
hippyhippy hippy Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: UK Posts: 425	hey hun, so sorry things have turned bad. I missd this on the other thread. You can get over this hun, believe it. Hippy xxx

09-26-2007, 04:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	finally got a hold of p-doc, taxi driver gave me a line on another apartment and showed it to me on the way to the pharmacy. Hope I can get it, met the building owner and gave him my number. He owns quite a few units in town. Will call him again tonight. Think the bank can give me a letter of good credit rating. Work on that next week. I thought about going to the hospital but p-doc has doubled my effexors so hopefully in a week or so I will be feeling better depression wize. Also gave me more seroquels to help me sleep. I am not suicidal trully just in very deep depession. Last night hubby flipped on me on way home from work, I took a cab to town and ended up at bar and tryed to go to a friends for a safe place to stay for night. There were heavy thunder storms and friends hubby started verbally abusing me in defense of my hubby. I was hopeless in defending myfelf from the insults and ended up being thrown out crying into he rain. This was the person who was going to rent me the apartment. I told him to shove it the sun don't shine. Called a cab to come home a 2 in the morning and as soon as I walked in he door hubby left the house. I couldn't go into work today cause I looked so terrible and I was too weak with exhaustion. I told them it was a personal emergency. Hope I don't get in trouble over it. Will go to sleep early. __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

09-27-2007, 10:39 AM	#14 (permalink)
Pol Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: England Posts: 40	Thinking of you Gail and praying for you.

09-27-2007, 12:21 PM	#15 (permalink)
Fluttering Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Fluttering About Posts: 2,710	gail Sewndingout many ernest prayers for you You are stronger than you know... please hang in there..The tough spots do pass and domake us stronger Mnay hugs going your way. Love and peace __________________

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09-27-2007, 04:01 PM	#16 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Gail, If the apartment isn't available immediately, can you go to a Shelter. I am sure there is one somewhere in your area and you will be safe there and the people will help you to move forward with your life. Please seek refuge and take care of yourself. __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

09-27-2007, 04:05 PM	#17 (permalink)
51anna Forum Leader Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 11,160	Gail here is information on the Women's Shelter in your area: The Women's Centre (Grey & Bruce) Inc. A non-profit community-based agency which offers support services to women and their children in crisis including: safe shelter, short-term affordable housing, transportation, counselling, information services and advocacy. Crisis line 519-371-1600 Web site: http://www.bmts.com/~womenscentre/index.htm Phone #: (519) 376-0755 __________________ Anna "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

09-27-2007, 05:06 PM	#18 (permalink)
GailJ Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ontario Posts: 471	Thankyou Anna that shelter is 40minutes drive and far away from work plus it is full so they would send me to another shelter 3hrs drive away. I have had fights with docs and hospital and even tried to get our company CEO (Butterball Turkeys) to fund one for our town. No I can't go that far away. I will not lose my job or run away in panic. p doc has doubled my meds and I am off work to focus on getting into the apartment. Am settling down staying home, not answering the phone calls and keeping doors locked if I feel threatened in any way whether it is hubby or any of his fiends. Am safe for now, it's more emotional abuse than anything else. Hubby has seen how ill I am over it all and can't deny, especially when everyone else at work has seen it too today. A dizzy headed bowl of jello from the side effects of doubling up on mes and the anx. Will rest, apartment hunt while he is at work. Next week. I need to gather myself some strength to go back out again. Thank you all for being here for me. __________________ May Joy and Happiness Find You.

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